Warnings: implied sex of another couple (not the reader and Peter), food mention, drunk (but cute) Peter
let’s get the obvious out of the way: Peter talks supppppperrrr fast when drunk
“Hey, whatcha doin is that tumblr, I like tumblr, I like tumblr because they like me, have you seen them fangirl, they love me, they love my super fast skills and I love them, I love that they love me so I love them-”
“Peter you’re not making any sense”
“Of course sense is making I’m making”
“Peter are you drunk”
he’d hesitate and then let out a loud laugh and respond with a nod and the biggest smile ever
“Don’t touch my computer anymore! You’ll break it!”
cue Peter pouting like a baby
“Scott let’s me always touch his!”
his forehead would scrunch up and then he’d break into another fit of giggles
“Heehee that sounded like I was saying Scott let me touch his tiny twinkie, not an actual twinkie though like his di-”
“You know what! That’s a great idea!”
“You wanna touch Scott’s twinkie too?”
trying to suppress laughter while also making note that he basically implied that he wanted to
calling Scott as you sat on your bed holding your hand against Peter’s forehead to keep him away from you as he made grabby hands in your direction
“SCOTT CAN YOU HELP ME CONTAIN CRAZY, DRUNK PETER?!”
hearing suspicious moans in the background
“C-can you-ooOo take care-are of him pleASE? Now isn’t actually a good- woahOAH- time”
“Fine, tell Jean hi for me; also you owe me one”
turning your attention back to the giant child in front of you. This was going to be a long night
“Wanna go to the movies?”
“No”
“Wanna go buy some Twinkies?”
“No”
Wide eyed people sucking in a breath and whispering, “Wanna eat Twinkies at the movies?”
“No, Peter”
he’d keep falling asleep and then waking up five minutes later ready to torture you more
he’d poke your side super fast causing you to beak your serious act and join his laugh-fest
later on in the night Peter would become all lovey-dovey and clinging
you wouldn’t admit it but you loved whenever Peter reached this point of drunkenness
aka cuddling on your bed until he got tired
“Thank you for taking care of me, Y/N/N”
“I’m usually paid for babysitting, you know that right”
“I can pay you in kisses”
“Not a chance sweetcheeks”
“Sweekcheeks? Heehehehehehe I like that! Sweeeeeeeeet! Cheeeeeeeks!”
shaking your head with a small smile on your face before wrapping your arms around your stupid speedster so he was the small spoon
“Goodnight, Y/NNNNNNNNNN. I looooooove youuuuuu” he’d draw out sleepily, his eyes practically unable to remain open
Toad's Cave 