“D’ya know what?” Addy mutters, throwing a rotten apple out
of the truck as you speed past an open grassy verge. It bounces away, and you
try to watch it for as long as possible before the distance becomes too great. There’s
silence in the truck, everyone starving and not really in the moos to cooperate
with an excited Addy.
“I said d’ya know what?” she bounces.
“What?” says Doc, always the first to cave, not wanting to
hurt anyone’s emotions by seeming to ignore them. Addy’s big eyes travel around
the bed of the truck.
“I think we’re going to get lucky” she whispers.
“I know who’s going to get lucky.” You murmur, sending 10k a
wink. He blushes and looks away, a frown on his face. You enjoy teasing him, it
pleases you to entice such a reaction from someone usually so quiet and stoic.
You smirk and turn back to Addy, who seems to be waiting for someone to respond
to her.
“No really. I feel it!” she enthuses, waving her hands in
the air.
“I wish I could feel it” You shoot 10k another look and can’t
help but splutter a little in laughter. He looks at you from under his long
eyelashes, and you’re unable to decipher what he’s thinking. Doc pats him on
the shoulder firmly.
“Leave the kid alone, y/n” he says, “He struggles with
girls.” 10k gives him a weird look, but
there’s a smile among it, and so content that you haven’t pushed things too
far, you turn back to a conversation that’s begun between Murphy and Warren.
When you get to the next town, you’re the last to jump out
of the truck. You take your time joining the group, checking that both of your
pistols are in their holsters and that your ammo is where you left it. You
watch Doc peering over Addy’s shoulder as she scanned a map, obviously figuring
out where the best loot holes would be.
10k is stood, feet wide apart, staring past everyone else
and down the road. You creep up behind him and wrap your arms around his
middle, grinning as he flinched against you. His broad torso is warm against
your skin, he’s so solid, and he makes you feel so safe. He…
You pull your arms away before he even tries to wriggle out
of them and move away, glancing at his face to see his cheeks a rough red once
more. He doesn’t return your gaze, just stares at the floor a few inches in
front of him.
“Y/n” Warren warns. “Leave him alone for two seconds please.”
You hold in a laugh, sliding your hands into your back pockets and rocking back
and forth on your heels as you listen to Warren doling out orders. She sends
you just across the street, to a charity shop. You look over your shoulder as
10k follows you over, surprised that he’s decided to join you. You don’t say
anything though, you just open the door, jumping at the bell that somehow still
works, and slip inside.
There’s not much left, but plenty that you can make use of.
You start stuffing items that look half decent into your bag, the bell over the
door ringing again as 10k enters. You don’t look up, just listen to his
footsteps cross the floor to the other side of the room. Your fingers slide
over something soft and frilly. Pulling the material free, you gasp, holding it
up to the light.
“Hey 10k!” you laugh, holding out the lace underwear. “Look.”
His eyes drift up, and he stares at them for a moment,
eyebrows raising by the smallest amount, a movement so miniscule that you
nearly miss it. You hold the thong against your hips, striking a pose.
“Do you think they’ll fit me?” you pout. He shakes his head,
and goes back to folding clothes neatly into his rucksack. Your face drops. He
doesn’t normally react like this, it worries you that he’s acting so
differently.
“Maybe I’ll have to try them on?” you press, dropping them
to the table and folding your arms across your chest, leaning on the closest
pile of garments. It’s like he doesn’t even hear you, and you think for a
second that he hasn’t, until he speaks.
“Go ahead.”
Your forehead wrinkles up in confusion and you take a few
steps closer to him. His hands move quickly, fingers nimbly folding and
smoothing each article before putting it away. For a second you get lost in his
angles. You imagine what other wonders his fingers could do, in your hair, on
your face… between your legs.
“10k?” you mutter, moving closer yet and ducking your head
to try and look up into his face. He turns away from you. A deliberate move
that takes your breath away, it surprises you how much it really hurts. You
clench your fists to calm yourself and then you move across the edge of the
table and slam a hand onto the table in front of him. He pulls away, a look of
shock on his face.
“Why are you being like this?” you demand, eyes searching
his for something, anything. He stays silent, zipping up the bag that he had
been filling and then looking up at you finaly. There’s no emotion in his face,
He doesn’t look like himself.
“10k.” you push.
“Why am I being like this?” he hisses loudly. “Bit
hypocritical coming from you.”
You’re shocked at the tone of his voice. You hadn’t seen any
signs of this anger building up inside of him, yet here it was. Explosive and
red hot. You nearly take a step back, but you force yourself to stand in front
of him, not on his level, but making yourself as tall as possible.
“What have I done?” you ask, trying not to sound pained.
“You know full well.” He says in a blunt voice.
“No, no I don’t” you reply, eyes wide, remembering over
every past moment you’ve spent with him. Nothing seems out of place. Nothing
that stands out as being a trigger for this, for something so intense.
“The way you behave around me. The way you tease me.”
Your stomach drops. If you’d known that he felt this way
about it, you wouldn’t have been so brash. Or would you have? You liked him,
and you always act like that around people you like. You always ended up trying
to counteract your nerves with overzealous flirtation. It was only because you
didn’t actually expect it to go anywhere.
“I’m sorry, I…”
“How could you?” he spits, his face contorting with emotions that you’ve never
seen within one hundred metres of him before. “You know that I like you and you…
you…” He doesn’t seem able to finish his sentence. He falls forwards, palms
supporting his weight above the table. He shakes his head and a sound escapes
his chest that’s like hot air escaping from a punctured tire. Your features
soften and you have the urge to reach out and cradle his face in your hands,
tell him that everything is okay.
“I like you too!” you tell him, moving forward, closing the
space between you.
“Don’t.” he groans. “Not now.”
“I do!” you exclaim, hands flying up in the air. You don’t
know how to tell him. How to put it into words so that he’ll understand,
understand that you love him and you mean it. That you’ve cared about him so
strongly for so long, just unknowing that he felt the same way.
“Y/n, I can’t do this anymore.” He looks you in the eyes
now, a cold empty stare that scares you more than any zombie you’ve seen in
this damn apocalypse.
“10k..”
“No.. I can’t be around you like…”
“10k, please listen!”
He keeps talking, telling you that he thinks that he should
leave the group, because he’s not going to make you go, your heart sinks lower
and lower, as if you’re getting close to the edge of the world and you’re about
to drop off into the void. It’s a void that you’d never be able to return from.
You leap forward and up onto the table, knees sliding on the
wood and fabric as you throw your arms over his shoulders and smash your lips
against his, kissing you like there’s no tomorrow. You can’t let him go. You
can’t lose him. He tries to push you away after a couple of moments and you
just push back, your mouth on his again, trying to get him to just see.
He pushes you off again and instead of anger there’s sadness
in his face.
“Please.” He whispers. “Don’t do this.”
You’re about to cry, you can feel it. Tears are filling up
in the corner of your eyes, your legs shaking and threatening to give out under
your weight, make you fall off of the table.
“I love you” you gasp, eyes closing and tears escaping,
leaving hot trails down your cheeks. You imagine that he’s walked away, that he’s
left now that you’ve lifted your grasp on him and you’re never going to see him
again. Cold air brushes over your eyes and then over the top of your head,
strands of hair tickling your skin. Fingers wipe away your tears, soft on your
face. Your eyes flicker open.
He’s still stood there. He hasn’t left. He’s looking into
your face with a look of awe normally reserved for an expensive gun, or an
animal crossing his path. He holds your head in his hands and you shake,
halfway between crying and laughing. He’s still here.
“You’re telling the truth” It’s a statement not a question. “You…
I thought it was a big joke.”
You shake your head, letting out a giggle that isn’t out of amusement,
rather more out of shock and relief.
“I love you” you say again, voice cracking. “I just couldn’t…”
He leans forward and rests his forehead against yours,
letting out a long breath, and that’s how you stay for hours, relieved and
loved. In each other’s arms.
Toad's Cave 