WHAT DID I DO
TED NOW YOU’RE RUINING YOUR SON’S REPUTATION WITH YOUR CHICKEN AFFAIR
IM CRYIJG OH MY GOD
“Is that Wheeler’s dad over there, eating a bucket of chicken all by himself on that bench?”
AHAHAHA OH MYOGSH
MIKE GETS RIDICULED BY HIS PEERS GOING “BAAK-BAAK-BAAAK!” AROUND HIM AND DOING THE CHICKEN DANCE
And Mike is just like “why me, wHY IS THIS HAPPENING”
Ted is just oblivious and keeps eating chicken in random places around town. Mike gets fed up from all the teasing and is like, “Dad can you PLEASE just eat chicken at home?”
And Ted is like “what did i do?”
But little does Mike know, the reason why Ted doesn’t eat chicken at home anymore is because the utter guilt of cheating on his wife Karen with the lovely seasoned chicken shakes him to his core….
He has found a new lover with the initials “KFC”.
IM CRYEIRBG
And Karen would get wind of these incidents and would be super-annoyed and doing that sassy Wheeler Eyeroll, all like, “well, i hope you’re enjoying your chicken even more now, Ted. Do you see what you’ve done to our son? You’ve turned him into the laughing stock of Hawkins. He can’t even walk into school anymore without someone making clucking sounds and throwing feathers at him.”
FEATHERS FHDJFK AHAH
Ted Wheeler calmly stands up from his chair, staring down his (potentially ex) wife. “How dare you say that about my chicken, Karen?” he shakes his head in disbelief. He looks to Mike for moral support but Mike is currently spitting out a few feathers the bullies threw at his face. “You don’t know me or the chicken. You don’t know us. W-We have something. Karen, I just have one thing to say to you,” he breathed in heavily, trying not to cry. This was the last straw. “WHAT’D. I. DO.”
OH MY GOSHDF IM CHCINGN CHODING
And Karen would look bewildered, moving to Mike to gently clap his back to make sure he wouldn’t choke on any feathers that may still rest in his mouth. She glares at her husband, mouth twisting and jaw set. “I hope your chicken makes you very happy, Ted. You know, it wouldn’t hurt to actually enjoy it in your car, or a restaurant, or even at work. Why do you have to eat it on park benches? On the side of the road? In the KFC parking lot? You had a chicken leg in your mouth when you picked Michael up at school early last week, Ted! WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU? WHY ARE YOU EXPOSING OUR SON TO THIS? Do you WANT him to turn out like you? A chicken-eating DEVIANT?!”
why am I missing out on this holy shi t
Published
Toad's Cave 