I just ate a box of fortune cookies and here’s my thoughts on the fortunes.

“Life will soon become interesting” That sounds like a really bad warning

“An old wish will come true.” When I was 4 I used to wish for a stepdad but now I trust no one near ma so fuck that

“Your determination will bring you much success.” ….what determination?

“Luck is coming your way.” Noo thank you. I already have luck, too much of it and all of it bad.

“A cheerful letter or message is on its way to you.” Wonderful, I like when friends are happy

“You will succeed in all your goals."  That’s a relief, my biggest goal in life is to live in my moms basement so I’m not homeless. I do not have high ambitions for myself.

"Look for the dream that keeps coming back. It is your destiny.” oh I’m fucked. It’s going to be the reoccurring kidnapping clown dream isn’t it? fuck fuck fuck shiiit

“You will enjoy good health.” Can I get it mentally too?

“You will live a long life and eat many fortune cookies.” This is the truest of all

“Your troubles will cease and fortune will smile upon you” it’s because of all the fortune cookies I’m going to eat isn’t it?