Vampire Lover Head canons

nihilismpastry:

lucyredribbit:

nihilismpastry:

-They become tiny bats to eat the mosquitoes bothering you

-They will use their persuading magic to help you do your homework/chores when you don’t feel like doing them

-They will often calm the animals when you go to the zoo so you can see them

-You fly through the midnight sky together

-You don’t know who your lover eats, but the result is that you always have extra money in your account…

-They always tell you that you don’t have to look into a mirror to know that you look amazing

okay so this implies that either

1. my vampire partner drinks blood of people and robs their corpses and puts the money in my account

2. they succ dick

They do both, my dude.