Five Kisses

thelokiimaginechronicles:

prompt from @eurusholmmes: Would you be willing to write a reader insert, where Loki is insecure because of his decisions and he thinks he isn’t worthy of her love… but she proves to him just how deeply she loves him through the act of the 5 types of kisses?? I LIVE for Vulnerable!Loki like in your oneshot, “Nightmares” Thank you darling! I love your blog! 💙

For anyone who may care, I listened to “Ground Control” by All Time Low while writing this- It reminds me of Loki 🙂

~

Whenever Loki seemingly disappeared from Avengers Tower, you always checked the roof first. Loki went there often, staring over the city and its many inhabitants. And if you found him out there, his eyes were always glazed over, his hands covering the guardrail. 

It was hard for you to see Loki like this- Harder, even, to coax the reasons he was upset out of him.

Today, though, was the hardest. 

You find Loki looking over New York, more so at the sky. You almost think he doesn’t hear you approaching, but it’s you. If Loki is ever aware of anything, it’s you. 

You stand next to Loki in silence, trying to figure out how to break it. You don’t need to, because after a few moments, Loki turns to face you.

You swallow when he does- Loki’s hair is tangled, like he wrung his hands through it, and his mouth is slightly ajar, panting slightly. There is a level of fear or worry you’ve never seen on Loki, and you don’t like it. To you, Loki should never be upset. He’s felt that enough. 

“Were you in New York when it happened?” Loki’s sudden question catches you off-guard, and you knit your eyebrows.

“I… When what happened?”

“Don’t play dumb with me! …Please, not with me Y/N.” Loki’s tone is helpless, and it kills you. You sigh, running a hand through your hair.

“Yes, I was here.” you whisper, wincing at the look of horror that washes over your lover’s face. “I was safe, though, Loki, in my apartment, and I wouldn’t have-”

“Safe!” Loki exclaims. “You were safe from me.” 

“Stop that.” you grab Loki’s hand. “You know I didn’t mean it that way.” Loki looks down at your joined hands, his gaze slowly traveling up to meet yours. 

“This is selfish.” he says. “We…I… shouldn’t be doing this. Not to you.”

“Loki, please don’t.” you beg as the god begins to walk away. “I love you.”

“You shouldn’t.” Loki won’t look at you.

“You love me.” your statement is an accusation, and Loki clenches a fist.

“I don’t deserve that.”

“I’ll prove it to you.” you shout after Loki. 

You will.

~

That evening, Loki is cleaning everyone’s dishes. The Avengers have all gone to their rooms, and it’s just the two of you.

You carefully move Loki’s dark hair, pressing a soft kiss to the nape of his neck.

“You protected Jane Foster, despite it having little benefit for you.”

Loki doesn’t turn around, letting hot water be wasted.

~

You sit next to Loki in the car; alongside Natasha and Wanda on the way to your next mission. Looking at him, you notice a scar on his jaw, and you lean forward to kiss it.

“You avenged you mother’s death.”

Loki responds at first by turning to look out the window.

After a moment, his hand slides over and rests on your thigh.

~

You carefully wrap a bandage around Loki’s bleeding knuckles. When you’re done, you bring the palm of Loki’s hurt hand to your mouth. Drawing away slowly, you notice that Loki’s eyes have closed. 

“You will have scars to remember the little girl you saved today.”

Loki keeps his eyes closed, and grips your hand tighter.

~

Cameras flash at the press conference Tony has forced the team to come to. You stand next to Loki, who looks grim. 

You place one hand on his back and one on his stomach, then stand on the tips of your toes to place a kiss on his cheek.

“You’ve become one of Earth’s Mightiest Heroes.”

Loki presses his forehead against yours, even though it will create questions neither of you want to answer.

~

You find Loki late at night, in a cushion chair with a drink. Upon seeing you, he sets it down and opens his mouth to say something.

“Don’t.” you say. “Loki Laufeyson, I make the choice to love you. For every decision you made in the past, I see you correcting yourself now. Your hatred for humanity no longer exists. Your contempt towards your brother has become respect. Your lack of empathy has grown into love. ” You walk forward and ease yourself onto the chair, placing your legs against Loki’s hips. Loki doesn’t break eye contact, he simply takes your waist to steady you. “You are not the man that attacked New York so many years ago, Loki, I promise.”

You tuck Loki’s hair behind his ears, and slowly lean in.

Loki meets you halfway, and you’re finally kissing. You missed that with Loki, you realized. Loki lets himself go completely, letting his head fall into your hands. His eyes flutter shut, and he lets out the tiniest moan.

You stay in each other’s arms, making it clear you missed each other when Loki pulls away.

“Y/N, loving me will be the death of you.” Loki’s words are warding you away, everything else is doing the opposite: Loki’s eyes are begging you to stay, his fingers digging into your back.

Loki doesn’t need to beg you.

“That’s where you’re wrong.” you breathe. “It brings out the life in me.”

Loki swallows, and for a moment, you think he’s going to kiss you again.

Instead, his head comes to rest against your chest. 

Loki stays there, tucked away in your arms, for the rest of the night.