Part one – Which was requested by @m-maximoffs
Pairings: Peter Maximoff x f!Reader
Scenario: The X-Men decided to extend their visit. Tony has had enough.
A/N: Warning: Deadpool.
Y/N has created a chatroom.
Y/N has invited Clint, Sam, Bucky, Wanda.
Y/N: Hey.
Y/N: We have a problem.
Clint: What’s wrong?! What did Peter do? It was him, wasn’t it?! Ever since that boy arrived you’ve been spending all your time with him! Now look what happened!
Wanda: Clint put the bow down.
Sam: And here we have a mother hawk protecting her hatchlings in their natural habitat.
Y/N: Peter didn’t do anything! We’re being haunted.
Clint: Good. I didn’t want to shoot him. I like him.
Bucky: Ghosts aren’t real.
Sam: And trolls aren’t supposed to be real but here you are.
Y/N: Bucky put the gun down.
Bucky: … I wasn’t… Whatever.
Wanda: I think Y/N is right. Strange things have been happening. Every time Pietro goes to sit down, his chair is pushed back and he falls.
Y/N: And my stuff is going missing! It will be right in front of me, then it’s gone! I’m also pretty sure someone has been in my closet…
Sam: My wings are always ending up in strange places. I thought it was Bucky but maybe we are being haunted.
Clint: You know what this means?
Y/N: We have to call them. THE –
Clint: W
Y/N: I
Clint: N
Y/N: C
Tony has joined the chat.
Clint: Damn you, Tony! You messed it up!
Tony: What? Oh they’re not even real!
Y/N: You take that back right now!
Tony: Do you guys really think we have a ghost?
Tony: REALLY NOW?!
Bucky: Well yes.
Tony: I REALLY AM THE ONLY SMART ONE HERE! Well Bruce is too, but in this chat.
Tony: It’s Peter!
Tony: He’s been doing all of that!
Y/N: Oh that actually makes a lot of sense now.
Wanda: … I’ll just tell Pietro it’s a ghost. He doesn’t need to know the truth.
Wanda has left the chat.
Tony: They have to leave!
Sam: Who?
Tony: These “X-Men.” Ever since they got here it has been chaos.
Y/N: Why? They’re so much fun.
Tony: That’s because they don’t annoy you! And half the time you’re with Peter so you don’t even notice what they’re doing!
Y/N: … Do you have any evidence to back these claims?
Tony has invited Thor, Steve, Nat, Vision, Peter, Peter.
Tony has changed Peter to: Parker.
Peter: Hi turtle ❤
Sam: What kind of lame nickname is that?
Bucky: Of course you won’t understand it.
Sam: He’s fast. She’s not. Don’t try to get smart with me.
Bucky: Hey Y/N is he fast all the time?
Sam: … It must get frustrating.
Bucky: To have things end oh. so. quickly.
Y/N: Shut up.
Peter: I stole some kisses too, not just your stuff.
Y/N: …screamsin60differentlanguages. I’m okay with that. SO okay.
Clint: I see you’ve improved from the last time. Less fangirling.
Tony: I bring forth my witnesses. No, victims! With the exception of Peter. He’s one of the
perpetrators.Y/N: Proceed.
Clint: When did this turn into a court case?
Tony: Let’s start with Thor. He is scarred for life! Thanks to Hank!
Thor: It happened so fast…
Tony:
Hank also decided to run wild and trash everything in his path. Property damage! Vandalism!Tony: Then there’s Magneto – or as we now know, Erik.
Tony: He thinks it’s funny to crush my suits! He sneezes, a suit is crushed! He burps, a suit is crushed!
Tony: Then, Mystique or Raven. She thought it was fun to masquerade AS ME!
Nat: It was funny seeing Steve so terrified as to why Tony was suddenly acting so weird. But then she started to go around pretending to be me!
Steve: I was so scared…
Tony: Y/N are you even reading this?!?
Y/N: Hmmm?
Y/N: Oh. Yes.
Vision: She was gazing fondly at Peter.
Y/N: STOP USING YOUR POWERS TO SPY ON EVERYONE JUST BECAUSE TONY SAID IT’S OKAY! Are you done now, Tony?
Tony: No! There’s still Vision and Parker left!
Parker: I don’t have any problems with them. Kurt and Ororo are fun to hang out with.
Vision: And Scott and Jean are intriguing.
Parker: Scott is teaching Vision how to flirt.
Peter: But Scott sucks at flirting.
Parker: I know.
Vision: … This explains some of the reactions I got when using his techniques.
Pietro has joined the chat.
Pietro: Tell your dad to stop trying to adopt Wanda!
Peter: But she’s my sister.
Pietro: She is MY sister! Not yours! We’re not related!
Pietro has left the chat.
Tony: Parker tell Ororo to stop making it rain above me!
Parker: It’s because you’re so upset over this.
Y/N: Tell her to make lightning.
Tony: I’m collecting their stuff! They must leave today!
Tony has left the chat.
Steve: How’s he going to get them to leave?
Nat: Not sure. Erik will just crush more of his suits.
Sam: Are you forgetting who they haven’t riled up?
Steve: … Tony wouldn’t.
Vision: He would.
Steve: Oh no.
Steve has left the chat.
Wolverine has joined the chat.
Wolverine: Who’s the big green guy?
Thor: Lady Natasha, it seems they will need our assistance.
Thor has left the chat.
Nat has left the chat.
Bucky: Who are you?
Sam: Wolverine. What kind of name is that?
Bucky: Are you a werewolf or what?
Wolverine: I see you lost an arm. Would you like to lose the other?
Bucky: I should go help Steve.
Clint: Where’s Y/N…?
Bucky has left the chat.
Clint: Or Peter…?
Wade has joined the chat.
Wade: My Wolverine senses are tingling.
Wolverine: Wade.
Wade: I knew there was a reason for the sudden increase in temperature.
Hi Wolvey. I ever tell you that you’re my favorite?
Parker: I thought I was?
Wade: Not now Peetie. The grownups are talking.
Clint: Has anyone seen Y/N?
Wade: SHUT YOUR BEAK, CLINTON!
Clint: I WILL IF YOU TELL ME WHERE Y/N IS!
Wade: Well I happen to know. I’ll reveal in a few minutes.
Parker: Seriously?
Wade: Who the fuck is Parker?
Wade has changed Parker to: Peetie.
Wade: Much better.
Wolverine: Just tell em, Bub.
Wade: I love it when you call me that.
Wolverine has left the chat.
Clint: Can you tell us now?
Wade: Okay let’s see here. I wrote it down.
Erik has joined the chat.
Erik: Has anyone seen my son? My reaction was not very good when he told me the truth by accident.
Wade has added Charles.
Wade: Tell your boyfriend to float a metal bar up his ass because it is rude to interrupt others.
Erik: …
Wade: Okay I wrote: “Meet Y/N and Klepto at the X-Mansion to leave dog treats in Hank’s room. Also must shit on his lawn as revenge… but wait he must already do that.”
Sam: Thanks…
Wade: “Should also pick up condoms for Klepto. Would it work though? Are there condoms that accommodate light speed?”
Vision has banned Wade.
Sam: I take it you want to prevent your hatchling from having their own hatchlings?
Clint: STOP WITH THE BIRD STUFF!
Clint has left the chat.
Sam: Birds these days.
Vision: Aren’t you called the falcon?
Sam has left the chat.
Vision has left the chat.
Erik: I’m not ready to be a grandfather yet!
Erik has left the chat.
Charles: If I still had hair it would have fallen out by now. I didn’t agree to all this stress.
Charles has left the chat.
Y/N: Hey. Sorry Peter and I were playing ping pong.
Y/N: What the hell, Wade.
Y/N: WHAT. THE. HELL.
Peter: Light speed…
Y/N: Don’t get any ideas.
Peetie: They should have known better than to trust Wade.
Wanda has joined the chat.
Wanda: Has everything calmed down?
Peetie: Nope.
Tony has joined the chat.
Tony: My plan was ruined!
Peter: Is the big guy gone? I liked him.
Wanda: Half our team is gone.
Tony: To where?
Y/N: The X-Mansion.
Tony: GREAT IDEA Y/N! THEY RUINED OUR PLACE SO WE’LL RUIN THEIRS! LET’S GO WHILE THEY’RE OCCUPIED AT THE BASE!
Y/N: NO, I NEVER SAID THAT!
Peter: Hold on tight.
Y/N: What?
Y/N has left the chat.
Peter has left the chat.
Tony: Could’ve carried me there as well…
Tony has left the chat.
Wanda has left the chat.
Peetie has left the chat.
Pietro has joined the chat.
Pietro: Wanda the ghost is back.
Pietro: …I’m scared.
Pietro: Wanda?
Pietro: WANDA I REMOVED SCOTT’S STUPID GLASSES AND WHAT THE FU
Pietro has been disconnected.