losingmymindtonight:

larry-and-flower-crowns:

i am so here for the headcanon that peter has his bisexual awakening because of thor 

Ned and Peter are sitting on the floor of Tony’s workshop, a new Lego set spread out around them, animatedly discussing something to do with Star Wars. In all honesty, Tony isn’t really paying attention. He’s watching Peter for the week while May is out of town on a much needed vacation, free of the stress of keeping one Peter Parker out of trouble, and the kid had begged him to let Ned come over. He’d been doing a pretty good job of resisting until Peter busted out his puppy dog eyes.

Damn those puppy dog eyes.

The pace of the teenagers’ conversation changes, however, and that’s enough to make Tony tune in absentmindedly.

“So, wed, bed, or behead with Luke, Leia, and Han.”

Tony nearly rolls his eyes are the juvenile line of questioning. Of course the kids would end up thinking with their downstairs brains. Why did he let a bunch of teenagers into his lab, again?

Peter’s answer is immediate. If Tony’s being honest, it’s a little too immediate. “Wed Leia, bed Han, and kill Luke. Sorry, Luke.”

Huh. That’s… an interesting answer. Without hesitation, either. No qualification for the choice of Han. Most boys Peter’s age would be far too concerned about their masculinity to say something like that openly, even to their best friend.

Ned seems unphased. “Dude, Luke is way more your type.”

Tony stills his hands on the StarkPad he’s using to draw up a diagram as Peter shushes his friend quickly. “Ned! Shut up!”

Alright. Time to join in.

“You got a thing for Han Solo, kid?”

Peter groans. “I-I had to choose a guy for one of them, y’know? It’s not a big deal, Mister Stark. It’s just a stupid game.”

Tony watches Ned stare openly at Peter, eyes flickering wildly between his friend and the billionaire seated a few feet away.

It clicks. Tony laughs the moment that it does.

“Jesus, kid. Are you actually hiding your sexuality from me?”

Peter chokes. “W-What? What are you talking about, M-Mister Stark? I, uh, I don’t…”

Ned elbows him in the side. “Dude.”

Tony sighs dramatically. “You’re fine, Peter. I don’t mind if you’re gay. Seriously. And since we’re having a nice heart to heart here, I’ll even admit that I’ve done some pretty gay shit in my time too, bud. As long as you’re using protection, you can screw everyone and anybody that you want and I’ll be a happy guy. Capishe?”

“I’m, uh, not gay.”

“You’re a terrible liar.”

“I’m not!” Peter’s squeaky exclamation only makes Tony’s smirk widen. “I’m bi!”

“Wow. So you really are screwing everybody and anybody, huh? Well, congratulations on your optimal sexual orientation, kid. The sky’s the limit, and all that jazz.”

Peter just gapes at his mentor for a second while Ned tries to muffle his laughter in the kid’s shoulder.

Tony tries to break some of the tension. “How long’ve you know, anyway? How’d you figure it out?”

Ned’s entire body is shaking with uncontrollable laughter now, and Peter slaps his arm. “Ned! Stop it!” He turns back to his mentor. “I, uh, well, I wouldn’t say that there was a particular mo-”

The other boy finally detaches himself from Peter’s shoulder to snicker. “It was all because of Thor, Mister Stark.”

“Ned!”

“Come on! It’s too funny to not tell him! I mean, he knows Thor, Peter!”

“Exactly, Ned!”

Tony, meanwhile, is trying to fight back laughter of his own. “I’m sorry. Thor was the reason for your sexual awakening?”

Peter groans, shoving his face in his hands, while Ned just smirks. “It was amazing, Mister Stark. We were talking about Black Widow and then Peter just declares, unprompted, that he’d probably rather screw Thor. So I asked him if he was gay and he was like, “no, Ned! Of course not.” But then I was explaining to him that, uh, it isn’t entirely normal to thirst after random guys if you’re not at least a little gay and his entire face goes blank before he says, in the tiniest voice ever: “uh, Ned? I, uh, I think I’m not as straight as I thought.” It was the greatest day of my life, Mister Stark. I wish you could have seen it.”

Tony is bent over his worktable in hysterics by the time Ned finishes the story. His amusement is only bolstered by the look of pure horror on Peter’s face.

“I can’t believe you told him that!” Peter’s face is flushed so brightly that Tony briefly worries he’ll faint. “Ned!”

His friend only laughs harder, giving Peter a halfhearted pat on the back and burying his face into the other boy’s stomach.

After Tony’s certain Peter isn’t going to keel over on shock, he shoots the pair a winning grin. 

“So… are you two a thing, then?”

“Oh, uh, well, we…”

The billionaire feels a warm fondness run through him at Peter’s awkward stuttering.

Oh, yeah. They definitely are.