Technically it was Jason’s day off. Yet, Jason was working. In Gotham, crime didn’t sleep. He knew he’d be called out for something, day off or not.
Jason’s touch was feather light as he caressed Y/N’s hand, his focus preoccupied on his laptop. She was asleep, slumped beside him in the bed, one hand in his, which lay above the duvet.
There was something comforting about having the person he loved next to him which helped feel relaxed and calm; Y/N was a miracle.
It was morning, the gloomy skies blocked any ounce of brightness from filtering through the curtains, washing their bedroom in near darkness. His screen lit part of the room with dim blue light. The bags under his tired eyes were accentuated, a testament to his many nights awake and out on the streets.
Jason glanced to Y/N, squeezing her hand. She muttered something in her sleep, shuffling closer to him. He watched his thumb gently rub circles on her hand. With her hand loosely wrapped around his, he saw something he hadn’t seen before in plain view.
Two letters were marked in black on her ring finger.
J.T
How had he not noticed?
His heart jumped as his breath was caught in his throat for a moment. Jason ran his thumb over the letters in an attempt to rub them off, hoping it was pen or anything not permanent.
The tattoo moved with the skin, refusing to be rubbed off.
The ink was still dark, hardly faded; like it was only a couple of weeks old – but he knew it had to have been older. She had taken care of it well.
Jason lightly shook Y/N, whispering at her to wake up. Luckily she had always been a fairly light sleeper since he had come into her life – since they started living together Y/N got used to waking up when Jason came home in the middle of the night.
She grumbled, shaking his hand off her shoulder, sitting up. Y/N looked at Jason through bleary eyes, blinking sleep out of her eyes.
‘Morning, Jay.’ Y/N said, her voice hoarse with sleep. ‘If you’ve been up all night working, You’re in trouble. It’s meant to be your day off.’ She teased, a smile on her face.
Jason didn’t want to ruin the moment. She looked so beautiful, her slightly puffy eyes and tangled hair and soft smile making his chest warm.
‘Y/N, when did you get this?’ Jason held her hand up, getting straight to the point, his fingers tracing around the tattoo.
Her eyes widened, face paling from the confrontation. ‘I got it when you were…gone.’ Y/N chose her words carefully. It was still a sore topic for her.
Jason had to force his words out. ‘What if you moved on?’ Y/N’s face fell.
His fingers ghosted over the tattoo.‘whoever it was wouldn’t have appreciated it, especially if you got engaged.’’
She let out a weak chuckle, fidgeting with the edge of the duvet. ‘I’d never be able to move on. You know that by now.’
Jason laughed bitterly, dropping her hand. ‘And to think you call yourself a realist.’
He didn’t know why he was getting so worked up about it. Something about it made him mad. She would have eventually moved on and gotten married to some stuck-up lawyer.
She might’ve gotten married in a big church, in an expensive white dress. Maybe had children. Maybe she would’ve been happier. He almost snorted. Of course, she would be happier.
Jason’s chest tightened. At least a lawyer would’ve been a better choice then what he was. Why would anyone want to be with him? He was a disappointment of a son, not even a hero. The black sheep of all the robins, the one who was never enough.
Not to mention that she was in constant danger with him. Being the main player in Gotham’s underground scene tended to do that. God knows how many other gangs wanted to get rid of him.
He would never forgive himself if Y/N got hurt because of him. Jason’s stomach twisted at the very thought.
No, he wasn’t mad at Y/N. He was mad at himself because she could do so much better.
Y/N whipped her head to face him, her expression fierce. Her eyes blazed, brimming with tears. ‘You don’t think I tried?’
Jason recoiled slightly, surprised.
Her hands tugged at the roots of her hair. ‘I wanted to forget so bad. To be happy again…’
Y/N glanced at Jason. She tried to smile but failed, her lips quivering violently. ‘I couldn’t even look another man in the eyes properly, because I’d think of you. Maybe it would be that his hair looked like yours, or he walked or talked like you but I just couldn’t forget about you. No one can ever replace you.’
She swallowed hard, looking up to the ceiling for a moment, remembering painful memories. Y/N tried to blink her tears away.
‘One day, I saw someone walking down the street with a jacket so similar- I thought for a second-‘
Y/N shook her head.‘It was just me, hoping that it was just a sick joke.’ She laughed humorlessly, breaking off as a sob caught in her throat.
‘I know I saw them put you in the goddamn ground, but I just couldn’t let go.’
Y/N was flushed, her mouth hard with determination, yet it was trembling, her eyes glossy with unshed tears.
Jason swept Y/N into his arms, pulling her onto his lap. His arms wound around her waist, a hand tracing circles into her shaking back.
‘You will always be the only man I will love. Nothing can change that, death or not.’ Y/N’s voice was muffled from Jason’s shirt, but he heard it clearly.
There was a pregnant pause.
Jason cupped Y/N’s cheek, lifting her head that was buried in his chest. With the other hand, he rubbed away her tears. He leaned down, kissing her softly, one hand on her cheek and one wound into her hair. Y/N tasted like tears and sweetness. He loved it.
Jason pulled away, running his thumb over his inked initials on her finger. He had never been so sure of anything in his life.
Dick was right; He would know when he found the one.
Toad's Cave 