thefingerfuckingfemalefury:

eugostoderaposas:

I cannot believe that Hermione did not take advantage of that Rita skeeter’  article that said she was dating harry. I would be like  HELL YES BITCHES I FUCKED THE BOY WHO LIVED, THE BOY WHO LIVED IS MY FUCKING SEX TOY! GUESS WHAT? HE ALSO DID DRACO MALFOY, 70% OF THE GRYFFINDOR HOUSE, YOUR SISTER, AND YOU ARE THE NEXT!

she could ask their friends to spread they also fucked harry potter to different prophet’ reporters until gets so ridiculous that it lost all credibility.

“Yes, I did the potter” -Viktor Krum

“Of course, Harry is so lovely” – Fleur Delacour                                           

“I showed to him some nice stuff in the bath” – Cedric Digory (does not like to lie)

“He and Malfoy are often at each other” -Severus Snape and the entire Slytherin house

“At the same time” – Fred and George Weasley

“Harry truly is amazing, he is always gentle with us.” – Luna Lovegood with Neville Longbottom hiding behind her, nodding, mortified.

“Let’s just say that he can ride more than just a broom”- Oliver wood
“Let’s just say that he being able to catch the snitch with his mouth was not a coincidence” – Ginerva Weasley. 

“He made us gay” – Seamus Finnigan and Dean Thomas.

Harry does not stop glaring at everyone for the entire school year, meanwhile Ron literally cannot stop laughing

At the end of the year Dumbeldore awards Gryffindor an additional five hundred house points for Harry’s achievements at bedding the entire student body, the other teachers all have their heads in their hands they are working in a ridiculous place of ridiculous people