Professional advice

british-sam:

Wordcount: 2,061

Summary: Kurt comes over at you for some relationship advice.

“Knock Knock…  Are you here?” Kurt knocked your door a little too shy. This was weird. You both had been friends for a while now, and even tho he respects your space, he didn’t tend to be this polite.

“Yes… Is everything okay?” you said as you sat on your bed and throwing your phone away. It was just another boring afternoon at the X-mansion. Kurt walked in with a concerned look on his face, eyes stuck on the floor.

“Verdammt, my hands are sweating…” he said almost in a whisper as he waved his hands trying to get rid of the sweat.

“What’s going on, Wagner?” you asked a bit worried. This behavior was not normal in contrast with his swashbuckling personality.

“I… I…”Kurt stuttered “… I zhink I need your help…”

“Are you hurt? Shall we go to the hospital?” you jumped out of the bed and stood up right in front of your friend.

“Nein… Nein, I’m alright… I just… Scheiß! Vhy is zhis so hard?!” Kurt threw a little tantrum as he clenched his fists and moved his arms up and down, frustration taking over him more and more after every second.

“KURT!” you yelled as you grabbed his shoulders in an attempt to chillax your blue friend. “You’re using your inducer, and you are all nervous and you don’t explain yourself properly… Now tell me what the heck is going on!” you inquired.

“I need your help!” He said all stressed out as if he was requesting for the most hardcore thing ever.

“Yes! You made that part very clear! But for what?! What makes you so mad?!”

“I… I…” he stuttered again.

“You…?”

“I… vant to… ask you… a… a… a favor…”

“JUST SPIT IT OUT!” you yelled, losing your patience.

“…I vant to ask a girl out…” he said with a barely audible tone. His eyes pierced on the floor, cheeks as red as apples.

“Just that?” you replied, despising his question.

“‘Just zhat?’ Are you crazy?! It’s one of the hardest zhings I’ve done!” he looked over at you for a second looking like a lunatic.

“Ok, let me see: You, Kurt Wagner, the incredible Nightcrawler, swashbuckling hero, ultimate X-Man, german Casanova, YOU need MY help to ask a girl out?” you emphasized parts of your argument to make his see your point.

“Correct…” he said, face down again “… all zhat fake confidence von’t vork here. I… “ he remained a little bit in silence “…I really like her…” blush covering his face again.

“And how I get to help you on that?” you asked skeptical. This was his area! His element! How was it possible that now he struggled so badly to get it done?

“You’re a girl! Tell me vhat to do! Help me practice or somezhing!” he yelled all freaked out again, looking for a few seconds straight at your face. If desperation had a scent, Kurt would definitely stink like it. His eyes were filled with panic.

With your patience hanging from a hair, you pushed Kurt’s shoulders, making him –fortunately- falling on your bed.

“Uh… mein freund… I don’t zhink I vanted to say zhis…” he said blushing once more and looking very embarrassed “…Definitely not vhat I meant…”

“No, silly! I need you to calm down a little bit!” you replied making an obvious facepalm. Kurt’s mouth became an ‘O’ as he got what you meant. He sat down and you did the same next to him.

“Alright, ‘bub’… Tell me, how do you feel about her?” you placed a hand on his back and he blushed more, looking at your feet.

“I… I…”

“Okay, you have to stop doing that. If you can’t tell me how you feel about this girl, how do you pretend to tell her?” you interrupted trying to make his win a bit of self control.

“Vithout vomiting if possible”

“Well… That’s okay… But you gotta feel confident about what you’re going to say!” you replied trying to give him ‘tips’ or something that seemed helpful.

After a few moments of Kurt’s blankly hypnotized by the floor, he began to speak

“…I alvays zhought she vas very pretty from zhe moment I saw her… Once I met her, I found her beautiful… My heart races faster than vhen I vas at the circus performing… My mind goes vild und all I can zhink of is… her…” Kurt made a pause and then he let out a loud sigh “Verdammt, zhis is going to be horrible!”

“No, it’s going great! Continue, please” you said. All your attention was now on the german’s fluency.

“I… I love being vith her. Every single minute spent vith her is like being closer to heaven… und her eyes… It’s like she could hide the universe in her eyes… und her laugh if beautiful…” Kurt kept talking sweet and beautiful words, blushing all the time. His eyes were glowing and he occasionally stuttered, mesmerized by the image of her loved one.

“… I… I only hope she likes me because of me, und zhat one day I’ll be able to go out vith her vithout my inducer und feeling comfortable about it, because…” He paused a little bit “…she makes me feel invincible, like I could conquer zhe vorld. But truth is it doesn’t matter, because she’s my vorld, the only zhing I vant to ‘conquer’… “ Kurt paused again “Crap! I’m so screwed!!!” he whined and hid his face in his hands.

“Kurt… If you think in a way poets would be jealous to hear, why don’t you go and tell her?”

“Liebeling, didn’t you saw how I have struggled to get zhis out of my chest? Now imagine it doing it in front of her” he said looking right in your eyes, holding your hand between his. Moments later, he pressed your hand against his chest, his heart beating like if it would jump out of Kurt.

“And why don’t you just go and tell her what you told me?” you asked confused, still not fully understanding what the fuss was about.

“I… I can’t…” he whispered.

“Why not? I’m sure she will feel flattered if you tell her what you just told me about her” you tried your best to make him win confidence.

“Because she wants me as a friend” he let out harshly, releasing your hand and looking down again. His tone like he had lost a battle. “She won’t care. It doesn’t matter what I say…”

“Okay, let’s make the next exercise” you said standing up. You extended a hand towards your friend, inviting him to join you. He stood up next to you, holding your hand and blushing as his eyes were focused on both your hands.

“Kurt, first of all, I need you to close your eyes” he lifted his gaze to meet your eyes, just to close them a few seconds later. As you tried to let go of his hand, you felt his grip becoming slightly tighter.

“Please don’t… I… I need your support, please…” he whispered. It seemed like he was begging you to hold his hand.

“Okay, Kurt. I won’t let you go” as you said this, his touch became gentle again.

“Danke, liebe…” he smiled and blushed one more time.

“My pleasure, love” you replied with a smile. “Now, pay attention. I need you to visualize you in front of your crush. Imagine my hand being hers, and imagine her as beautiful as you see her…” you enjoyed washing Kurt blush red and more than red and his smile becoming bigger all the way through this. “…Now, she’s gone. You’re alone, in a dark room inside your head. Thinking of all the things she makes you feel. All the thoughts she brings to your mind and heart. And now, you say them out loud, as if you wanted them to travel through the air and brush her ears, or to get into her brain as she sleeps so she can have the sweetest dreams with you… Now, Kurt, let them free…”

Just before your finished speaking, Kurt began to talk in german. Luckily, Professor Xavier gave you this little earbud that could translate anything to the pre-selected language, so you plugged it to your ear and waited to hear his soul pouring out of his chest.

“I wish I had the guts to tell you this face to face and in a language you could understand, but no matter how, I just want you to hear and know that from the moment your eyes landed on mine, you took my breath away. I couldn’t get you out of my head, and now I can’t rest properly, I can’t eat right, I am not alone because you’re always with me. I wish you could feel the same way about me, and deep inside, I feel like you do, or at least it is what I want to believe. So please, look beyond my looks. Don’t get intimidated by the way I look, but try to meet me from the inside, please! Let me show you who I am. Let me treat you like you deserve and love you like no one else could ever do, I can take you to places you’ve never been, and I can make you happier than you are if you want to, and I want to share my own happiness with you, because you add a little more happiness to my life everytime we’re together… but please, don’t look at me just like a friend. Let me show you otherwise, and let me show you how close I am to loving you…”

Kurt suddenly opened his eyes, fright showing on his face, scared like he had just seen a ghost.

“I… I…”

“That… That was very beautiful, Kurt…” you smiled. He was such a poet and a romantic person! No matter what girl he was going after, she will fall at his feet for sure!

“… I almost told you her name…”

“If you want to keep her anonymous, it’s okay to me. Just go out and tell her the same!” you smiled wide and pointed to the door, letting go of his hand.

Kurt looked at you and frowned. His eyes felt like digging inside of you. After a few seconds, he looked back at the floor, disappointed.

“What?” you whispered taking a step closer to him.

“You vant me to tell her everyzhing I just said to you…” he whispered eyes once more on the floor.

“Yes! That’s why you came here on the first place, right? You needed help to ask her out, remember? Go on! Do it! Tell her how close you are to love her!!” you said enthusiastically. Kurt looked at you, blushed again and gave you a sad smile.

“I just did”

“…whut?”

“I did it. I just told her. But she’s too busy zhinking she’s helping out a ‘friend’ she can’t see how madly in love I’m vith her” he laughed a bit, disappointment and a bit of sarcasm showing again.

“You…”

“I…” he said and shrugged. “Can you blame me, liebeling?” he smiled a bit again.

“Wow… nice plan…”

“Hahahaha! Ja… Only zhat I didn’t planned zhis…” he shrugged again.

“No? Then wha…?”

“See, I came here for ideas to ask you out since I vas nervous as hell, you saw me… But you took it to a whole new level… You made me ‘spit out’ all zhose zhings inside me even before asking you out… See zhe impact you have in me, liebe?”

Now you were the one blushing. You felt flattered, and deep –or not so deep- inside, you were incredibly happy you were the beautiful girl he was talking about.

“So… Is zhat a ‘Ja’?” he asked a little impatient. You ran to his arms and hugged him tight.

“We should’ve began there, Kurt”

“Vell, try to keep your cool vith such a beauty so close to you…” he blushed again and held you tight.

“Then let’s go, german Casanova!” you let him go, now holding his hand. A twisted smile appeared on his face and the shade of red was brighter now.

“Verdammt, I should ask for your advice more frequently, liebeling” he laughed still nervous, but very excited at the same time. “Danke, liebe”

“My pleasure, love”

[Request by @i-am-the-bamf. Danke, liebeling!]