apocalypse-118:

How To Train Your Vampire

Fandom: Hellsing x reader

Warnings: I try to be funny? They/them pronouns for reader

AN:// Just some random, horrible, terrible ficlet idea that popped into my head. If people like it, I can make it a series. Send in requests for it if you do

~

Integra sighed heavily, fingertips rubbing her temples with increasing pressure. Seras could practically feel the annoyance and frustration rolling off the older woman in tsunami-like waves. The young vampire shifted closer to (Y/N), who’s nose was stuck so far deep in a book, Seras doubted they had any idea as to what was going on.

“Alucard…” She growled. “I said no.” Seras’ Master only grinned wider in response. “Correction. You said ‘God no. Now leave me alone for the love of all things holy.” Alucard teased. Integra’s mouth twitched further down wards.

Alucard pressed a hand to his chest as he continued. “But I am not holy, Master. So…no.” He mused. Integra groaned loudly and covered her face with her palm. “You are not getting another plane, Alucard!” She hissed.

Alucard said nothing, choosing to lean further back in his leather chair with folded hands. “Yes.” He stated simply. Integra stared at him in disbelief. “No!” She snapped. Alucard slyly smirked. “Yes.” He replied. Integra gaped at him, rage all over her face. Though in Seras’ opinion, it was more like the rage of a mother with a rambunctious child than actual anger.

A chorus of ‘yes’ and ‘no’ bounce between the pair like a hyperactive tennis match. Seras could only watch and cringe in anticipation of Integra’s explosion. The woman looked like she was ready to blow. Seras perked up upon hearing (Y/N)’s book close.

“Alucard.” They said, standing. The vampire halted his torture of his Master to peer at his mate as they strolled towards him. (Y/N) stood behind his chair, leaning down to drape their arms over him. Seras noticed a small, smug smirk weaseling it’s way onto Integra’s lips.

(Y/N) pressed a kiss to Alucard’s cheekbone and softly whispered: “No.” The No-Life King gaped and (Y/N) snickered before walking away. Alucard hastily stood and padded after them like a puppy. Seras had to laugh into her hand. That laughter exploded out of control when a faint “Why not, love?!” was heard down the hall.

Integra sighed and sank into her seat. “Glad to see that someone got him on a leash.”