Okay, so the boys’ S/O announces “I want you to meet my baby” -cue internal screaming- But then their S/O brings out their dog.

unlimitedthotworks:

I wanted to make this NSFW, because that’s kinda the rules around here, but… I just couldn’t make it happen, especially not with a damn puppy around. SO HERE’S A FUCKING ONCE IN A BLUE MOON EXCEPTION TO THE ALL NSFW ALL THE TIME AROUND HERE. EDIT: forgot to mention Prompto’s I don’t have any money line is inspired by the pregnancy comic that was going around by @gigglincactus .

– LV

——-

You’ve been out of town on business for the last year, but you’re finally about to be reunited with your darling boyfriend. It’s been a long year of texts, phone calls, and video chat, but you’re about to get some for the first time in far too long. You invite him over for dinner, and after a touching reunion you pull him into the kitchen, insisting he eat the food you lovingly cooked for him. As you’re finishing up dessert, you take his hands across the table, gently pulling him up and out of his seat and leading him towards your bedroom door. He leans in to kiss you but you put a finger to his lips, stopping him.

“It’s been so long since we’ve been apart… a year, in fact… and there’s been some… changes in my life. I guess… changes in our lives. Honey… I want you to meet my baby.”

Noctis: Noctis feels faint for a moment. Baby? What the fuck? When was the last time we slept together? It’s been… it’s been a year!! That’s enough time for her to have had a baby… oh Gods, Ignis is going to fucking murder me. He told me so many times to be careful…. I didn’t think this was going to happen to me!!

When you open the door to the bedroom, Noctis can feel his pulse pounding in his ears. The sound of a jingling collar fills the room, and when he feels something warm and hairy leaping up at his shins he looks down in shock at your tiny puppy. You pick up the small dog and put it in his arms, and all he can do is gape at you. “What’s the matter, Noct?” You laugh. “Did you think I meant something else?”

“…that’s… a dirty trick…” he grumbles, but it’s difficult to maintain a tough front with a puppy licking his face.

“You look like you about had a heart attack!!!”

He glares at you. “I almost did. But just so you know… I would have taken care of the baby.”

“I know you would, Noctis. But this is the only baby in our lives right now.”

Prompto: Prompto’s freckled face goes white as a sheet, and you immediately regret your choice of words. You’d only meant to have a little fun with him, but the poor boy looks as if he’s liable to faint.

“I don’t… have any… money…” his voice comes out in a squeak, and you decide this joke has gone far enough. You open the door and lift your puppy into your arms, placing it against Prompto’s chest. His arms come up to wrap around the dog, but he doesn’t even seem to register what he’s doing. He speaks as if he’s in a trance.

“I’ll get a job… I’ll deliver pizzas… I’ll… I’ll figure something out.”

The puppy licks his face, and he looks at it suddenly. “A puppy, ________? Another mouth to feed… but that’s okay, I’ll make it work. I swear I’ll take care of us…”

“Prompto… this is my baby.”

He blinks a few times, holding the puppy out to get a better look.

“Oh… OH!!! OH MY GODS!!! THE PUPPY IS YOUR BABY!!!”

“That was so sweet of you though, Prom… nice to know you’ll do whatever it takes to take care of me and our baby.”

Prompto laughs, the nerves flooding out of him all at once.

“Of course I will… but if it’s all the same to you, maybe we could wait a little while on any actual human babies?”

Ignis: Ignis tries his best to keep his hands from shaking visibly as he nervously pushes his glasses back up his nose. Hadn’t he always used a condom? Weren’t you on birth control? How did he find himself in this position now? He still had his duty to his Prince, but a child changed everything… he’d have to figure out how to juggle both… no, he would take care of you, and you’d take care of the child. It had to be this way. He clears his throat and tries his best to keep his voice as even and non-judgmental as possible.

“I will take care of my responsibilities… I assure you, you and the child shall want for nothing. I had not intended to put you in this position, but I will do whatever it takes to make sure you and our baby have everything that you need. I am sorry you dealt with this alone for the last year…”

You can’t bring yourself to interrupt Ignis’s adorable speech, so you simply open the door and pick up your puppy, handing it to your boyfriend without a word. He stops mid-sentence and looks at the dog for a few moments in silence. When it licks his glasses his removes them from his face swiftly, shooting you a sullen look as he pockets them.

“…you could have stopped me anytime, darling.”

“Aww Ignis… hearing you get all dutiful on me was just too sweet to pass up. Good to know if I do get knocked up me and our baby ‘will want for nothing’…”

Ignis scratches behind the dog’s ears.

“…of course.”

Gladio: Time slows to a crawl around Gladio. He sees your mouth moving, but the words make no sense to him. His heart hammers in his chest, and he can feel his legs growing weak. He wobbles backward, reaching out for something to steady himself and grabs hold of a thin lamp that’s entirely unable to support his weight. He goes crashing to the ground, landing hard enough to knock the wind out of him. He lays on the ground in a daze, thoughts of a child he never knew he had running through his mind. His family has money to support the child, of course… but he has a duty to the prince… Iris can step in to help but that’s his child… he needs to be there. His mind runs in circles with thoughts of his new life as a father; he’s so deep in his own head he doesn’t notice a small dog licking his face for the first few moments. It’s only when you kneel down by his side to make sure that he’s alright that he begins to hear what you’re saying.

“Gladio?? Gladio honey?! Are you alright?!”

“…there’s a dog in here.”

“I know… that’s what I was trying to tell you. I got a puppy, Gladio.”

“…”

Gladio stares up at the ceiling in silence, then begins to laugh, a low throaty chuckle that evolves into a full-body experience. He shakes with mirth, tears rolling down his cheeks as the realization of what’s just happened dawns on him.

“I thought… oh Gods… I thought… ahahaha!!!”

“Yeah… I know what you thought. Sorry baby. I thought you’d think it was funny.”

“Yeah… funny… heeheehee…”

Eventually Gladio sits up and pulls the small dog into his arms, petting it fondly.

“I was gonna take care of the kid, for the record… but I’m good waiting for a while on that if you are.”