buckychrist:

Have y’all ever thought about how Bucky would be when experiencing love for the first time post Hydra?

because i have.

• He wouldn’t even realize what it was at first
• because obviously there’s an explanation for his behavior around you that isn’t love whatsoever
• his sweaty palms and increased body temperature when you approach is just from the heat yanno even when it’s winter and this is happening outside
• his lack of concentration when you’re around is just from being tired!!!
• “YEAH IM JUST TIRED SAM THATS WHY I FELL OVER THE ENTIRE COUCH”
• uh no he’s not looking for excuses to see you and talk to you, it’s obviously very important that he gives you the sock that somehow ended up in his laundry, no this wasn’t done on purpose
• The only reason he lights up at the sound of your voice nearby is only because he just enjoys talking to you and 100% not because the sound of your voice is the only muscle relaxer he could ever need
• he laughs at all of your cheesy jokes because you’re clearly the funniest person here and he doesn’t know why no one else is laughing, unhumored swines.
• When he was describing his dream person that one time Natasha asked, it was pure coincidence that the person he described was basically a carbon copy of you
• obviously he dreams about you at night because he sees you ALL THE DAMN TIME AND HE CANT CONTROL HIS DREAMS RIGHT
• and he’s not even gonna ATTEMPT to justify the fact that his dreams consist of kissing you and marrying you and being with you forever because “THEYRE JUST DREAMS AND THEY DONT MEAN ANYTHING” “yeah ok buck”
• Obviously. He’s fucking clueless.
• It isn’t until you get really hurt on a mission that it dawns on him
• because let me tell you, that motherfucker loses his GOD DAMN mind the minute you go down and he can’t get you to wake back up
• his hands are shaking, tears streaming down his face as he’s just yelling almost incoharently at you
• Tony and Steve have to rip him away so they can get you back to the jet and Bruce can start treating you
• Clint Sam and Steve sit with him while he’s dead silent, his thoughts getting the best of him
• “It’s my fault.”
• “I could’ve stopped this.”
• it dawns on him that he doesn’t fully know how he’s gonna move on if you don’t make it out
• you’ve made him want to be such a better person
• And maybe, just maybe, it could be more than just the slight crush he’s been convincing himself it was
• Sam nudges him in the ribs after over an hour of just sitting there and when Bucky looks over, he’s receiving the most serious look he has ever received from Sam
• “i swear to god if you don’t tell her you love her when she comes out of this, especially after the reaction you had, then you’re the biggest damn fool I’ve ever met, and everyone else here will know it too.”
• and despite the fact that he won’t show it, bucky knows deep down that sam is right.
• so he goes in to see you after he wakes up, trying not to get emotional about how just fucking wrecked you look
• like you took fucking “get wreckt scrub” to a whole new level
• and he sits down and you smile at him, melting his heart
• “So i found out something new about myself yesterday.”
• “Yeah? what’s that?”
• He takes a long breath, as you watch him curiously, before just blurting it out.
• “i’m in love with you.”
• And he has his whole speech ready, about how it’s okay if you don’t feel the same but he just needed you to know because he wasn’t going to hold it in any longer
• And you must see the tension written on his face
• because you take his hand in both of yours, your fingers gently caressing his
• “I love you too, Bucky.”
• and a wave of pure relief washes over him and he can feel himself getting emotional again
• he’s been denying himself lives simple pleasures for a long time, thinking he didn’t deserve them.
• But he thought maybe one day he would get to the point where he would deserve you
• and it wasn’t until this moment that he learned that, in your eyes, there was never a time he didn’t deserve you.
• that he always had.