Fullmetal Alchemist AU where everything’s the same except Ed makes up stupid stories as to why he lost his arm and leg and they’re different every time someone asks.
ex: “I got attacked by a shark”
“I stubbed my toe and decided I didn’t want it anymore”
“I went through a steampunk phase”
“Sheep are vicious when they’re hungry”
“Squirrels”“y-you have an automail arm and leg… you–you must have committed the ult-”
“did you know horses are omnivorous? you’d think they just eat grass and weeds but that’s what they want you to think”
And every time Al leans over to the stunned listener and whispers, in a conspiratorial tone normally reserved for divulging the deepest, darkest secrets (and of course loudly enough for his brother to hear),
“It’s because he didn’t drink his milk”
Published
Toad's Cave 