unexplained-events:

Ladies and gentlemen….a spring-loaded dick in a box from the 1800s. It made for a great gift

Walk up to your rich bitch friend’s mansion on Christmas with a newspaper wrapped box,
They thank you so kindly then a dick pops out at dinner,
People scream, you pretend to have never seen that box before, blame it on the giftwrapper,
That boy is hung the next morning but you know she appreciated the gift later that night while her husband was fucking her sister and the maid

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