bisexualshakespeare:

accio-shitpost:

breaking news: harry potter has quit his job as an auror!

stating that ‘i have no idea why i thought that was a good idea, holy shit’, potter has since relocated to diagon alley and reopened florean fortescue’s ice cream parlour. in a comment, potter said ‘yeah. yeah, this seems more like it’ and added ‘i mean, he gave me ice cream that one time. loved that guy.’

All Pottermore stories and other HP related extra-canon are hereby replaced with this text post