hopeless–geek:

barneswilson:

so, as you all know, being gay was considered a mental illness in the ‘30s, if not a medical defect. and as you also know, the superserum was supposed to cure steve of all his medical defects.

imagine how overwhelmingly relieved he is after he’s gotten the serum and he realizes he’s still queer. how vindicated. the serum fixed his lungs and his back and his vision, but it can’t fix something that isn’t wrong with him, and i can’t stop thinking about his face when he realizes that his queerness isn’t something that needs to be fixed.

Maybe even for a touch there Steve thinks he IS cured. He’s having success with women for the first time. They’re looking at him like he might be worth something. The prospects of some day getting married and settling down don’t seem as preposterous a feat as they once did. Then he goes on his rescue-suicide mission to save Bucky. Bucky’s a grimy mess, covered in filth and smelling like chemicals and Steve is just like. FUCK, yeah I still want this.

But imagine him seeing Bucky with completely new eyes after the serum. Steve’s whole life Bucky was the epitome of what a man should be. Strong, tall, muscular–everything Steve wasn’t. Now after months of Steve adjusting to his enhanced body as the new normal he sees Bucky again, half starved after a month of captivity, and for the first time HE looks small and skinny to Steve’s eyes. And Steve knows with absolute certainty that he wants Bucky. That always wanted him, and it’s not just admiration or envy or loneliness or whatever other excuses​ he’s conjured up over the years to try to deny his queerness. He wants this man, and he knows he’s not sick, that there’s nothing wrong with him.