Man imagine getting offered up to Alucard as a sacrifice. The townspeople are so scared of him that they tie you down and bring you to him wearing nothing but a wedding dress.
if i was offered, he would possible say.
Is this the best you had.
Nah bitch he’d be so happy, but he wouldn’t show. He’d take you back to his place and let you roam around while he keeps his distance, taking in the sight of you before making his move. He’d fall so head over heels for your personality and quirkiness
He is pretty uptight, his studies always come first
So his best buddie (against all odds) Trevor, drags both him and Sypha to a party because “You two have a stick up your ass. Loosen up for once in your boring lives”
Trevor is the Jock throwing the big parties
You two meet at the party,
And Adrian is like “Damn they’re cute. I should get their number.”
He doesn’t
You two chill and have one too many drinks talk and go for a walk without ever getting to know each other’s names.
The next day you two meet in the same class, hungover and looking like shit and sit beside one another to suffer together
In the following classes you start to borrow each other’s pens
Class partners
Late night study sessions that turn into make out sessions
“Trevor, I’ve spent my entire life surrounded by idiots like you. But when I look at them all smart and cute, and funny… All I see is my future wife/husband.”
“So they’re your bae.”
“My what?”
“Jesus…”
The funniest thing to ever happen to you two was finding out you lived in the same building all this time, but never met.
You spent hours discussing the probability of it
One day you knock on his door and he answers, hair a little messy, eyes puffy from sleep
“Adrian, I’m out of pasta, let’s order pizza together!”
”…………………………its 3AM"
“So?”
“You walked all the way here…To say you’re out of pasta…To order pizza…With me?”
“Pretty much, yeah.”
“At 3AM….Don’t we got like…A test tomorrow?”
“There will be no test if I starve!”
“Why are we together again?”
“We like what the other can do with their mouths?”
“That’s one reason for sure.”
“My mouth would like to eat a pizza now Adrian.”
“If you’re so hungry you can eat me.”
“PIZZA!”
“Fine, Jesus.”
– Mod Medusa
This was a group effort on discord because my muse decided it was a good time to leave. Thank you for the brainstorm fam!
Double Date with the Parents Stripper!Alucard X Reader
You let out a cute little hybrid of a laugh and a moan, Alucard giggling at your adorable little responses. You had been rolling around in Adriens couch for about 20 minutes. You both have been trading kisses and laughing for a while, just enjoying being close to one another. Your legs were tangled together and the man had taken residence in your neck, leaving tiny love bites.
“God, you’re so cute.” He breathed, giving your ear a playful lick. “We could… um… take this to the bedroom?”
“Adrien.. I don’t know-“
“We don’t have to have sex… Just…get close.”
”Can’t we just… do this for a bit longer?”
“Y/N, I want to keep doing this…just a..with a little less clot-“ Adrien stopped, hearing a knock on his front door. He rolled his eyes, upset that he had to let you go and get up. You sat up, straightening your clothes and giggling.
“I think you have company.”
“It’s probably Belmont being annoying. After this weekend I don’t want to hear from him.” The knocks at the door became more fervent and you stood to give Adrien a kiss on the cheek.
“He did apologize.”
“That’s the only reason I’ll answer the door.” Adrien said, striding over and opening his front door. “What do you- Mom!?!” When he back up from the door you peeked around it, seeing his mom rush past him and put some grocery bags on his kitchen counter. He smiled, greeting her with a hug.
”Sorry to barge in, I was in the neighborhood-”
“Mom, what are you doing here?” He started, taking her hands. “You know I don’t want you to go out of your way-“
“Well, I found some things you may like or need and I wanted to bring them by- Oh!” She finally noticed you, seeming excited. You shifted awkwardly in place and she was just in awe. “Oh hello, did- Oh No, that’s why you took so long to answer the door.” Lisa turned to her son, feeling guilty for barging in. “I didn’t mean to.. interupt you kids in bed-”
“Mother, please, We were just talking. You didn’t interrupt anything.” He said, a little resentment in his voice which made you fold your arms for a second. You shook it off and extended your hand to greet his mother.
“It’s great to meet you, I’m Y/N. I’m sorry metting you took this long.”
“Oh, Sweetie, It’s quite alright.” She smiled brightly, shaking your hand quickly and already liking you. “It’s so good to finally meet you, Adrien has told us so much about you.”
“Oh, I never know what to say when people tell me that.” You admitted, which the Tepes’ found cute.
“I have an idea,” Lisa started. “Why don’t you come over for Me and My husbands date night?”
“What?!” Adrien panicked, You quickly shook your head, trying to politely decline.
“Oh, No, I couldn’t impose.”
“Nonsense. We watch movies in our pajamas, order a pizza and play board games. Vlad and I always have very relaxing date nights. It will be fun and I insist you both join us.”
“Mother, I,” He paused, seeing the look on his mother’s face. She was giving him the look. He sighed, kissing his mothers forehead. “We’ll be there.”
——
“You look great.” Adrien said nervously as you got in his car. He liked your pajama pants and the nice tight fit of your top. The colors ocmplimented you and brought a blush to his cheeks. Once he admired it enough he began to drive. “I can’t believe I said yes..”
“Your mother seemed excited…and I get to meet your father.”
“Ugh, goodness, I can’t believe you’re meeting my parents already.”
“…Is there something wrong with that?”
“ Well… no.. despite the lack of interest in intimacy-”
“ Excuse me?”
“I’m just saying-”
“I Didn’t realize you just wanted me for sex-”
“It’s not like that-”
“It sounds like that!” You snapped. “You brought this up.”
“And I regret it.” He rolled his eyes, putting his turn signal on and getting ready to turn into his parents neighborhood. “Look, I’m not saying that for this relationship to continue we have to fuck, that’s not what I’m saying… and I’m sorry it came out this way.” You eyed him skeptically and he gulped audibly, trying to find words that described how he felt. “I-It’s just.. I want you so bad lately but you have no interest.”
“Because I- I don’t need a reason to not sleep with you, it’s my choice-”
“I know, I know. It’s just…very difficult to kiss you and not…want you more. Please don’t misunderstand me. I’m aware this problem is my own and has nothing to do with you and it’s certainly not your fault…I just.. I want you to know I’m a little sensitive lately… every little touch from you is torture, our kisses destroy me…and I’m sorry that I’m like this…” He admitted, pulling up to his parents mansion. You barely noticed going throuhg the large gated community and going deep into it past a forested area. This mansion was entirely isolated.
——–
You walked you nervously to the door, holding Adrien’s hand as innocently as possible. He was still a little flustered though and you felt a twinge of guilt. Before you could knock on the door Lisa opened it excitedly, wearing fluffy pajam bottoms and an old T-Shirt.
“Y/N! Adrien! Please, come in come in!” She stepped aside, urging you both through the door and you quickly greeted her and complimented her home. As you two continued to talk, Adrien looked at you both, mostly you. He shook the thoughts off, striding over to the living room to see his father in his favorite chair, tapping the arm.
“My Soon to be daughter inlaw is visiting. I decided to be cordial.” Vlad stood, towering over his son and going to the foyer to go greet his guest. “Good to see you son, go pick out a movie.”
“Of course.”
——
Lisa cuddled in Vlad’s lap on his chair and you and Adrien got to lay on the couch. You laid on his chest, enjoying the movie without a care in the world. Meanwhile, the weight of your body on him was driving Adrien nuts. He bit his lip, unable to focus on the movie. Blah blah Killer that attacks every year blah blah can’t be killed. Who cares. Adrien was absolutely fixated on you. He didn’t look at anything in particular. It was as if he was scanning your entire being.
You jumped when the killer popped out in the movie and Adrien gripped you instantly. Vlad looked over and chuckled seeing that you got scared but didn’t want to make fun of you. Lisa jumped as well, just not as noticibly.
“Where did he come from?” Lisa asked, cuddling into Vlad’s shoulder.
“He was in the background the entire time, dear.” Vlad said with a smile. “Y/N? Are you alright?”
“I’m fine. I was just surprised.” You said, only to be undermined a few seconds later when both you and Lisa screamed at the loud ring of the doorbell. Vlad and Adrien couldn’t help it, laughing at you both and ignoring the angry looked you were respectively giving them. Vlad picked Lisa up, stood and then placed her back in his chair.
“I’ll be back, I’ll pay the pizza man.”
——-
You crowded around the coffee table, eating pizza and waiting for Vlad’s decision. Adrien groaned. He always hated this game.
“…Do I want to buy Park place-”
“Dad, Just buy park place-”
“IT IS NOT THAT SIMPLE ADRIEN!”
“This is every time we try and play monopoly.” Lisa said to you, taking another sice of pizza. “But, Vlad enjoys it.”
“I already have all the Railroads…”
“Then just buy park place-”
“But what’s in it for me? You have no business sense son.” Vlad said simply. As he made his choice, the ladies continued to talk. Out of the corner of his eye, he noticed his son. Adrien had a light blush on his face and his gaze was fixated on you. Drac recognized that look…
——
As the game got too complicated and it was very clear Vlad was winning the couples decided to look for another movie before bed. Lisa browsed the selection with you, Vlad pulled his son aside.
“Father I-”
“No, Come with me.” He said, pulling him to the foyer. “We need to talk.”
“What’s wrong?”
“….Have you slept with her?”
“Dad!?” Adrien whispered harshly, “N-No I haven’t, be quiet she’ll hear you-!”
“Son, I need you to listen to me.” Vlad said simply. “Tkae her upstairs to your old room. And just let go-”
“Thats not exactly a decision I can make on my own-”
“Adrien, trust me. I know what it sounds like..just tell her to trust you.”
“I-I could never-”
“Trust me, Adrien.”
—-
You were a little nervous being guided to his bedroom, especially when he made you promise to trust him. The simple bedroom made you nervous and Adrien himself was very unsure as he locked the door behind him.
“…So… This is going to sound… odd.”
“It already does,” You admitted, sitting on the side of the bed. “But..I trust you.. you’ve never done anything to hurt me and…your parents are downstairs so..”
“I need you to lay down.” He said simply, already feeling a little, off about this. You nodded, laying on your back and just staring at the ceiling. You let out a deep sigh, and squirmed a bit.
“…Adrien, I know it’s been hard on you lately-”
“Y/N, Please-”
“No.. I …I want you to know I trust you..and If it helps… you can do whatever you have to do to me.” He was in awe, sitting on the bed beside you and looking down at you. He smiled, cupping your face and pulling you into a passionate kiss. When your arms wrapped around his neck he moved his hands to your hips.
He let out a low groan, rolling your shirt up your stomach…then he stopped. He shook it off, breaking your kiss for a moment. You were a little surprised. He had always wanted this kind of thing. He dove back into your neck, nipping at your skin. He put his thumbs in your pajama bottoms, his heart beating unbelievablly fast at the idea of going any further….but he couldn’t. He stopped his assault on your neck, sitting upright and looking down at you.
“…um… Adrien-”
“….I can’t do this.”
—–
You rejoined his parents but the moment you both got downstairs Vlad pulled his son to the side and both women were deciding on a nice non-scary movie to watch. Vlad smirked, confident.
“…You couldn’t do it.”
“I didn’t want to do it.” Adrien defended, expecting his father to be upset with him. To his surpise, Vlad smiled.
“Good.. I was hoping you couldn’t.”
“What?”
“You butt dialed me in the car.” Vlad said, checking his fingernails and embarrassing his son. “I heard what you said to her.”
“I-I didn’t need to be pushed into sleeping with her-”
“That was never my intent. What you’re feeling isn’t lust, son. I knew you wouldn’t be able to do it. You just want to be close to her. This isn’t about sex. You’re not craving her body. You’re just craving her. You’re in love. You’re trying to scratch an itch that isn’t there and I wanted to drive that point home.” Adrien just stood there, looking dumbly at his father. Vlad couldn’t help but smirk, patting his sons head.
“How did you know?… What if I really did do it and you were wrong?”
“..I suppose that was possible..but I just thought of myself at your age… when I met your mother… I’m pretty sure I know what you’re going through.”
Matching Lap Dances ~Stripper!Alucard x Fem!Reader~
You hummed as you browsed your boyfriends bookcase. He just sat on the couch pretending to look for something on Tv. He really had something on his mind that he had been trying to tell you for the past couple weeks. He bit his lip, finally turning off the tv and just blurting out what was on his mind.
“Y/N, I want to give you a lap dance.”
“I’m sorry what?” You said, dropping the book that you just picked up. “…. can… I’m- did you really just say that?”
“Yes,” He said seriously. A little more confident and blasé about the topic now. “I want to give you a lap dance.”
“…..This is only the 3rd weirdest thing you’ve ever randomly said to me.”
“Y/n we’ve been dating for a few months now,” he started, rolling the remote in his hands. “And because of my… line of work… I’ve given many ladies and some men lap dances… you’ve always been so supportive And I just…. you deserve anything I can give you.”
“Oh, Adrien,” you giggled, striding over to the couch and kissing his cheek. He looked a little embarrassed, scooping you up and forcing you to sit on his lap. “I appreciate the gesture, but you don’t have to give me a free show-“
“I want to,” he whined, nuzzling into your neck. “I love you and… well, you won’t let me please you any other way.”
“I’m not ready for se-“
“I know and I’m fine with that… I just… I feel like I’m cheating on you every day just because I give so many other women more attention than you.. I want to give you something.”
“You gave me a lap dance before-“
“That was at Syphas bachelorette party. I was working. Now we’re together and I want to give you more.”
“Well-“
“Please? it would make me feel so much better.”
“Only if you let me return the favor.” His jaw just dropped and for a moment he was unable to comprehend that. You. You were his precious little angel. He had never even seen you in anything revealing and you just offered him a lap dance.
“Oh..” That’s all he could say. He was a lot more nervous than he thought he would be. “D-Do you…” he suddenly started the laugh, giving you a very skeptical look. “Have you ever done this before?”
“… well… no?” He cracked up at your answer, his laughter making your face heat up. You hit his chest to try and shut him up but he kept laughing. “Stop laughing! I know I’m not a professional like you but you could at least be nice-“
“God, this is going to be adorable.” He cooed, pinching your cheeks. “Alright, it’s a deal.”
——-
“Oh god,” Sypha said biting her lip. “You did not offer your boyfriend, a professional exotic dancer, a lap dance.”
“…. yeah..” you said, laying on your bed and regretting earlier today. You just had to call Sypha when you got home. “I told him after work today we could do this.”
“Oh Y/n – Trevor stop laughing I’m on the phone! She can hear you!”
“Actually I couldn’t but good to know Trevor’s still an asshole.” You said dryly. “Ugh Sypha am I fucked?”
“No, being fucked would be better than being humiliated.”
“Why did I do this?” You whined , kicking your feet on your bed. You now could actually hear Trevor laughing a little in the background. Sypha sighed, going to a different room, you could hear her close a door behind her.
“Y/n, I’m coming over.”
“To read me my last rites?”
“No, We’re going to look up some videos and we’re going to learn to give a lap dance.”
“Wait are you serious ?” You sat up in bed, a lot better at the prospect of learning with Sypha.
“Y/n, you’re my best friend and I’m not going to let this be one of those stories that your boyfriend can hang over your head or use as leverage against you.”
“….. does Trevor blackmail you with embarrassing stuff?”
“All the time.” She said flatly, “Which is why I’m going to help you. I can’t promise you’ll be as good as Adrien when we’re done but you’ll at least not embarrass yourself!”
———
When Sypha arrived you brought some music up on your laptop, scanning through the options and getting more nervous with every passing second. Sypha was scrolling on her phone at tips and tricks.
“Alright, it says here that slowly circling your partner will help highten anticipation.”
“ Not comfortable with this-“
“You can lower yourself onto your partners lap as close as possible without sitting down, and roll your hips in a seductive manner-“
“Really not comfortable with this-“
“ Slowly removing clothing is optional-“
“Very uncomfortable with this.”
“Oh, Y/n, Relax. We can do this. I would have let you practice on Trevor but he would be a jerk about it. So you can practice on me.” She took a single chair from your kitchen and put it in an open space. She clapped triumphantly and turned to you. “Alright, to your room. Let’s find you something sexy to wear!”
———
“Okay, So, this feels very um- weird.”
“No no that’s good!” Sypha praised, “just roll your hips towards mine now-“
“HOW DOES ADRIEN DO THIS EVERYDAY?!” Sypha just smiled. Through your own skittish nature you were actually managing.
“Don’t be so obsessed with being at his level. Just do well enough to surprise him. Alright now the stripping part- or were you not going to do that?”
“Oh… um..” you shuffled nervously. “I don’t know if he expects me to…”
“He danced for you at my bachelorette party, right?” Sypha started, “did he strip?”
“God yes.” You said dreamily, putting a hand to your heart. You snapped out of it, coughing nervously. “A-anyway, how do people strip and dance at the same time? It looks impossible.”
“You’ve got this. Come on, let’s get some lunch and then we’ll pick up afterwards.”
———-
You and Sypha had a fun afternoon but more and more after lunch you began to feel heavy. Sypha grew concerned but you insisted it was fine.
“Adrien should be on his way over, it’s almost 8.”
“If your stomach is hurting you I suggest letting him know.” Sypha warned. “I’d hate for you to hurt yourself”.
“Sypha I got this.” You assured her, ignoring the rumbling in your gut. “Don’t worry.”
“Well text me and let me know how it went.” She said, giving you a hug and patting your back. “I hope it goes well.”
When she left you just leaned against your door. Any minute now Adrien would be here and being fresh off work he’d probably be tired. You’d have to give your lap dance first. You started to regret getting lunch with Sypha. You were about to stop leaning on the door when a knock rattled against your back. You quickly turned around and opened the door, Adrien surprise that you answered so quickly. He smiled, leaning down to give you a peck on the lips.
“Adrien, you’re early.”
“Actually I’m late but I’m glad you didn’t notice.” He corrected you, running a hand through his hair. “Sorry by the way, I got caught up on the phone with my father.”
“It’s fine,” you started, noticing the glisten on his forehead. “Long day at work?”
“Busy day at the club and 3 parties.” He said with a sigh, “I’ll admit, I’m a little tired.”
“Well,” you said sweetly, taking his hand and guiding him to the couch. You pushed him and forced him to sit down, a surprising move but he loved it. “Why don’t you have a seat and relax?”
“Oh?” He started, licking his lips slowly. “And how do you plan on helping me relax?” You shuddered at his suggestive tone, trying hard and failing to remain in control. He took note of your nervousness and smiled. “So… where’s your music?”
“My- oh!” You panicked, heading to get your laptop. You ran to grab it, forgetting that you put it in your room. He waited patiently, still smiling widely. When you put it down and brought up your song, the slow and sultry sounds steadily building up. He let out a little hum of approval. You took in a deep breath, strutting to him and hovering over his as he leaned back.
That flirty switch in your walk already had him wanting more and the way they began to sway was making the room a little hot. You were confident, tracing your hands up your body and giving him a look that made him dig his nails into the arm of the couch. Then the music stopped. You gasped turning around and seeing a flashing battery on the screen of your laptop. Adrien smiled, keeping his mouth shut tightly.
“Umm..”
“Forgot to charge your laptop?” He struggled to ask, not wanting to laugh. You felt your confidence slowly drain and you just looked around nervously. The whole situation became overwhelming.
“That’s alright,” He started, a little more composed. “ just do it without music.”
“.. without music?” You repeated. He nodded, still smiling up at you. The awkward pause made it difficult for you to start over. All your movements felt robotic and undirected. Your nervousness bubbling in your stomach. Alucard just kept smiling, struggling to keep it without giggling. He could tell and it was making you a little upset. You tried not to look at him and your little dance began to slow to a stop. He just kept smiling.
“Why’d you stop?” He fought back a chuckle, biting his own lip. This chipped away at your remaining confidence and you just stopped, folding your arms. He was amused by your pouting and you felt your eyes welling a little. You went to your laptop, leaning over it and praying it would turn on for just a couple minutes. Leaning over it proved to be a mistake, a loud rip escaping your butt and making you stand upright immediately.
That did it. Alucard finally broke out a laugh. Running his hand over his face and trying to compose himself. Deep breaths only seemed to make it worse as he could t stop himself now. But something did stop his laughter. He heard a sniffle and everything just fucking halted. He gasped , getting up and trying to pull you into a hug. You tried to push away from him but he forced you into a hug.
“Get away from me-“
“Y/n, I’m sorry I-“
“Let me go!” You screamed, pushing away from him. He felt his heart crack and he struggled to keep a grip on you. “Get out!”
“Y/n, I didn’t mean to-“
“Leave me alone.” You stopped struggling, just falling against him and crying into his chest. He looked down at the top of your head, his heart weighing heavily on him. “I’m sorry I’m not perfect like you okay?” You said, slightly muffled by his shirt. He sighed, picking you up and taking you to the couch. He sat you in his lap, resting your head on his shoulder and resting his forehead against yours. Your eyes were red, overflowing and trying not to meet his eyes.
“I didn’t mean to upset you…” he started. “You were just so cute-“
“I didn’t want to be cute.” You complained, your voice cracking slightly. “I wanted to be sexy. I want to be… attractive for you.” He held you tighter, closing his eyes and taking in a deep breath. “You’re handsome, you’re charming, you can be adorable one minute and then a sex symbol the next… I can’t be any of that. I don’t know how. I don’t deserve to be with someone like you…”
“…. Y/n…” He didn’t know what to say. He had never seen any kind of indication that you thought you weren’t good enough for him. He suddenly smiled, running his fingers through your hair. “ Did I ever tell you about the first lap dance I ever gave?” You didn’t speak, just snuggling against him and a few tears still finding their way out. “I wore the wrong pants, you see, so when I tried to tear them away I just made myself fall over. Knocked my head on the floor.” He looked down, noticing you had stopped crying but you were still looking away from him. “There was another time I fucked up cause my dirty talk was shit back then. You have no idea how many times I would stumble over my words. I once used the ‘right to remain silent’ line and completely forgot I was supposed to be a fireman.” He chuckled, his cheeks a little red to reveal his fails. “I’m not perfect. I have fucked up literally hundreds of times.”
“You’re still too good for me-“
“I think we’re perfect for each other.” He said, cradling you and nuzzling his nose against yours. “You’re everything I could ever want. I love you and I’m sorry if I’ve ever done anything to make you feel like you weren’t enough.”
“I love you, too, Adrien.” You said softly, the man immediately kissing your abused little cheeks.
“Now, I need to make this up to you. Why don’t we forget the dancing and just skip to the cuddling and eating junk food. Would you like that?”
“…..maybe.” He laughed, picking you up and carrying you to your room.
“Come on, let’s spend some time together. Just me and my perfect little angel.”
Toad's Cave 