philosophy-and-coffee:

thecassinator:

ink7blot:

fmanime:

fmanime:

i think edward elric entire military experience can be summarized as john mulaney’s “horse loose in the hospital” bit

there is a CHILD ALCHEMIST LOOSE IN THE STATE MILITARY!

NOBODY KNOWS WHAT THE CHILD IS GOING TO DO, LEAST OF ALL THE CHILD!

HE’S NEVER BEEN IN THE MILITARY BEFORE!

They interviewed a man who once saw a baby in a restaurant.

WE’VE ALL SEEN A BABY IN A RESTAURANT!!!

THIS IS A CHILD. LOOSE IN THE MILITARY.

@dalethesjtoddler

And then, for a second, it seemed like maybe we could survive the child,
and then, 5 miles under the capital city, an evil homunculus was like, “I have a huge transmutation circle and I’m going to kill everyone to become god!” And before we could say
anything, the child was like, “If you even fucking look at Amestris,
I will punch you to death with my fists. I dare you to do it. I want
you to do it. I want you to do it so I can take my unresolved daddy issues out on you, I’m
so fucking crazy.”

Dating Edward Elric Would Include

randomfandomimagine:

image

A DATING AL WAS REQUEST AND I WANTED TO WRITE ONE FOR ED TOO, SO HERE IT IS, ENJOY! 😀

  • Ever since you met, things seem so easy with him
  • Conversation flows on its own
  • He seems to understand you all the time
  • And you just have a good vibe together
  • So it wasn’t strange that you became friends quickly
  • And eventually best friends
  • Until you became a little more than that when you started dating
  • Winding him up by calling him ‘shortie’ (you better run though)
  • You argue a lot
  • The friendly kind of bickering that oddly shows your affection
  • Because you’re never really angry at each other
  • You don’t argue with Ed, hardly ever
  • At least not for real, it’s always playful
  • If you do, it’s about something very important and serious
  • About a big disagreement
  • And you might avoid each other for a few days
  • But in the end you work it out and make up
  • Whenever you need each other, you’re always there
  • Ed never hesitates to defend or protect you
  • He has these little silent gestures that you adore
  • Like when he notices you’re cold and puts his red coat over you
  • Or when you’re too quiet and he knows you’re worried
  • Ed will then nudge you and asks you to ‘spit it out’ 
  • Won’t stop until you tell him what you’re upset about
  • He never loses a chance to cheer you up or comfort you
  • He never openly tells you how much you mean to him
  • But it’s things like these that remind you of it
  • Edward doesn’t like talking about feelings, really
  • Or quickly brushes it off when an emotional conversation happens
  • But you get him to open up a little
  • Even though you two have your own way of communicating
  • Mostly not even needing words
  • You know what the other is thinking with just a glance
  • And you know what each of his smiles mean
  • A lot of teasing
  • Especially trying to fluster the other
  • You love trying to make Ed blush, it’s just fun
  • For example, randomly kissing his cheek
  • When he least expects it too
  • He just begins mumbling and blushing like crazy
  • He tells you off to hide his embarrassment
  • Edward does the same to you too
  • And instead of teasing you about it like you do, he laughs
  • Like full on loud guffaws of laughter
  • You usually call him just ‘Ed’ and he calls you by your abbreviation too
  • When you use full names, you know something’s off
  • “Edward!” “It wasn’t me!”
  • It just depends on the tone as well
  • “Edward…” “What’s wrong, who do I have to kill?” 
  • Same goes for him, even if he tries not to make it noticeable
  • When he calls you simply Y/N, you know something’s up
  • Most of the time it slips his mind because he doesn’t want you to worry
  • But you do, because of course you do, you care a lot
  • Trying to distract him when he’s upset
  • For example, when his automail are especially painful
  • Or when he’s worried about Al
  • You always reassure him saying he’s doing his best
  • Because Ed pressures himself too much to help his brother
  • You get along with Alphonse extremely well too
  • And Edward is so happy to see you’re friends with Al
  • He feels better knowing you care about his brother
  • Knowing that you’ll protect him too
  • Even if sometimes he regrets your friendship
  • Because Al wil tease his brother a lot about you
  • Physical affection is not too common between Ed and you
  • There are lots of hugs of all kinds
  • Random and carefree, celebratory, affectionate, emotional…
  • But there is a lot of cuddling even if it’s mostly subconscious
  • Like putting your head in his shoulder during train journeys
  • Or falling asleep over each other
  • Or him leaning on you sometimes
  • Maybe even holding hands without realizing
  • You might not tell each other often, but you love the other a lot

professorsparklepants:

philosophy-and-coffee:

I like to think that at some point Ed got bored and decides to become a professor at some big name Amestrian college. 

   His specialty is a military funded class called Battle Alchemy, which he starts off by inviting any of his students to beat him in hand to hand for a conditionless passing grade (by the end of the first class, most students walk away sore and horrified).

    It takes half  the semester before they realize that Ed continues to beat them even when they use alchemy and he does not. They ask to see him use alchemy in battle. The next day, a man who looks almost the same as their professor shows up to class- he’s softspoken and polite, and the students expect a substitute lecture. Ed sits in the stands and laughs as Al proceeds to fight the entire class at once, and beat all of them. The students never ask again.

  (And sometimes, in the middle of practicals, students swear they can see the Fuhrer watching from the edge of the field.)  

   I can also see him causing a hell of a problem when it comes to conventional textbooks- 

  “This is definitely wrong.” 

  “Sir, this is the most recently updated textbook for theoretical alchemy-” 

 “Yea fuck that, I can prove that soul alchemy isn’t unviable- someone hand me some chalk, I’m about to commit a mathematical felony.”  

“I’m about to commit a mathematical felony” is probably the most in character Ed line ever, of all time