That time Peter Parker was trained by Natasha Romanoff.
It’s a spider thing
It’s a spider thing
Don’t you love how Peter can do it with his calves but Natasha has to use her inner thighs. This whole equality thing is great.
Thighs are stronger than calves, and you can get a tighter grip, as well as have a higher chance of breaking things. Peter was intending to disarm, Natasha was ready to kill. Natasha is a trained assassin, and Peter is a student who works for a newspaper. Given their backgrounds and experiences, it would be UNequal to have Peter using skills and disarming tactics that Natasha was trained to do so.
So yes, this whole equality thing is great.
Owned
This post is brilliant.
also peter has bALLS OK you dont want to SLAM YOUR FUCKING TESTICLES into someons fucking SKULL
Reblogging for last comment. Laughing for 3257865 years
You breathed out sleepily as the light shining through Peter’s pale blue curtains woke you up gently. As you opened your eyes, a smile spread across your face.
Peter had his arms wrapped loosely around your waist, and his head nestled in the area between your shoulder and neck. Whenever he moved his head in his sleep, he unconsciously nuzzled his nose against your neck. His legs were tangled with yours, and he was snoring softly.
With the hand that wasn’t pinned under your sleeping boyfriend, you reached for your phone and opened the camera. Changing it to the front camera, you took a quick picture of Peter cuddling you. Your smile widened at how adorable he looked.
Returning your phone to his bedside table, you rolled over to face him so that he still had his arms around you, but you could now cuddle him back and rest your forehead against his. Just as you were starting to fall asleep again, he began to wake up.
“Morning,” he mumbled sleepily, his arms tightening around you. You scooted down slightly so that your head was resting against his chest.
“Morning handsome,” you replied with a grin, knowing that the pet name would make him blush adorably. Looking up, you saw you were right.
“You look beautiful,” Peter told you, pressing a lazy kiss to the top of your head and rolling onto his back. You cuddled closer to him, propping your chin on his chest so you could look at him.
“Can we just stay like this forever?” he asked quietly, stroking your cheek gently. You smiled, leaning into his touch and closing your eyes.
“We should,” you replied, placing your hand over his. “Getting out of bed’s overrated anyway.”
He chuckled, still staring at you with his beautiful brown eyes. You reached out and ran a hand through his brown curls, still tousled and flattened on one side from sleeping.
“I love you,” you mumbled, barely loud enough for him to hear. He did hear though, and a grin bigger than any you’d ever seen spread across his sleepy face.
“I love you too,” Peter replied, wrapping his arms around you again and pulling you closer to him. “Always.”
Deadpool Musical – Beauty and the Beast “Gaston” Parody
Who knew the “Merc with a Mouth” could sing? Check out this fan-made musical mashup of “Deadpool” and “Beauty & the Beast” featuring Wade’s own NSFW version of the classic song “Gaston” from the original musical.
request: the lovely @memyselfandandrea aka the main. I’M SORRY I TOOK SO LONG BUT I HOPE YOU LOVE THIS AS MUCH AS YOU NOW LOVE TEEN WOLF
warnings: none
word count: 1365
Sitting upon the warm couch of the Gryffindor common room, you pulled the wool blankets closer to your chest. They scratched against your skin causing discomfort, but you disregarded the feeling as the temperature was below zero outside of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. It was the coldest and roughest winter that the school had experienced in quite a while; outside the walls, strong winds bashed against the sides of the stone walls and heavy, white snow practically fell horizontally due to the intensity of the weather. The sheer coat of white covering the former green trees and grass seemed frightening.
Especially since your boyfriend of a year was stuck outside with the three of his friends.
Remus Lupin, the boyfriend in question, had revealed his werewolf side to you after three months of dating. It may have seemed to early for such a declaration to any other person, but Remus had known you long before you began dating and he trusted you with all his heart. However, even with the addition of being dating, Remus still worried that you would not want to be with him after such information was revealed. When Remus had told you so, you had reassured him that no matter what shape, you would still love him.
With around nine months passed, you and Remus were still going strong; you helped him recover after full moons and he helped you study for your exams. You helped stitch him up and bandage his wounds when he had a particularly rough night, and you reassured him that he was not a monster after he almost hurt one of his friends.
Usually full moons were easy: James, Sirius and Peter would take Remus out of the castle so he would not hurt anyone. You would wait back at your room, buried beneath the sheets, too anxious to fall asleep. Whenever these nights occurred, you stayed up all night, not able to fall asleep until you knew that Remus and the boys were safe. Until they arrived, you readied the any first-aid you could find and chewed your fingernails until they were raw. On most full moons, you were not this scared; usually you knew that the boys were coming back in a few hours so you did not feel the need to worry as heavily as you did now.
However, tonight was different. Tonight, the weather outside was far below freezing and you could not even see outside the windows. Snow was falling fast and heavy towards the ground and the winds were unbearable. You worried that Remus and the boys would not even make it as far as the gates before they froze to death. Taking care of Remus when he shifted would be the least of their worries with Frostbite and Hypothermia threatening to turn their fingers blue.
It had been nearly five and a half hours since they had left. It had been hours from hell; pacing, anxiety, near panic attacks and tears. When the sixth hour had nearly arrived, you feared you had created tracks in the carpet beneath you from pacing back and forth for so long. You continued to chew on your nails, not caring about the possibility of chewing them to the bone.
Once the sixth hour had passed, you were practically in tears and your face was red and blotchy. A few moments ago you had given up on pacing, choosing instead to take your place on the cushions beneath you.
They had never taken this long, the shifts would have ended by now because of the ever rising sun. Every passing minute only filled your body with more nerves than you had ever felt before. You had even begun to fear that if any other time passed, you would break down and hurt someone.
Fortunately for you, and whoever dared to approach you in such a state, Sirius barged through the door of your room. His hair was disheveled and his clothes unkempt. Even with that in mind, you were on your feet in seconds and taking Sirius into your arms. You squeezed him with all your might, the Black boy seeming like a brother to you. Sirius chuckled, wrapping his arms around you within seconds, his taut arms pulling you close to his body.
“What’s the matter, love?” he laughed, “didn’t think we’d make it back?”
You nodded softly, tears reaching your chin as they dribbled down your cheeks. Sirius chuckled once again, wiping your tears before handing you off to James who had just entered the room behind him. You hugged the male quickly before turning to face your boyfriend.
He looked battered, skin looking bruised and his lip bleeding. He looked the worst of the boys; his hair and clothing both dirty and covered in melted snow, his body shivering and multiple scratches covering his skin. You nearly wept when he managed to give you a small smile.
Leaving James’s side, you brushed past the boys with unmeasurable speed and barreled into Remus’ arms. Remus’ body sagged in relief and he brought his arms up to wrap them around your waist while yours took position upon his shoulders. You pulled him as tightly to your body as you could, trying not to sob into his shirt as it was already soaked through.
When you pulled away, Remus was still grinning, “hey, m’love. You waited for me?”
You let out a watery laugh, “Course, Rem. I’d always wait for you.”
“That’s m’girl, my sweet girl,” Remus mumbled, nuzzling his nose into the side of your face. It tickled and you giggled softly, nosing him in the neck.
“Are you alright?” You questioned, pulling away to inspect his body for injury.
“M’ fine, love. No pain,” He pulled you back into his body, squeezing you softly as he buried his nose into your hair. You returned the favor by burying your face into the layers of clothing on his chest. He smelled like the woods: musky and natural. Buried underneath it, however, was the scent of chocolate and his clothing.
When Remus looked down at your figure, he smiled happily, “You wearing my sweatshirt, darling?”
You giggled and let your body sag into Remus’ one. He pulled you tight once more and lifted you off your feet, pulling you to your bed, laughing when the boys moaned about PDA. They shuffled out of the room while Remus pulled his body over yours, letting your warmth surround him while he pulled off his soaking shirt. He left your side for a moment to change into sweats before sliding beneath you. Remus loved it when you slept on his chest because it gave him security when he knew you were within reach.
You hummed softly and let an arm descend to his chest, tracing circles on his muscles as the other reached up to pull through his messy hair. Remus nuzzled your hand before taking your waist between his fingers and sloppily placing a kiss onto your lips.
“Rem!” You giggled, pulling away, “If you’re gonna’ kiss me, might as well make it a proper one!”
Remus smiled fondly, showing his teeth before grabbing your cheek in one hand and placing his lips onto yours. He hummed when you pressed your lips back, getting lost in the euphoria of it all. He pulled you tighter, his other hand pulling your hips tight against your own.
When he pulled away, his eyes connected with yours and for a moment it feels as though the world had stopped. Everything was slow and it seemed as if you and Remus were the only two people in the world. It sounded cliche, like something out of a romance novel, but it was true; whenever you and Remus locked eyes, it was like gravity had shifted and Remus had become the center of your world. Everything revolved around him, every word, every smile, every laugh; it was all for Remus.
Walking through Hogsmeade holding hands. In the winter, you’d each take off one of your gloves and these would be the hands that you’d interlink together. Remus would wrap his long scarf around the both of you so you’d both basically be one adorable person.
Pulling him towards you by his scarf and holding him there as the two of you kiss, Remus grinning uncontrollably as he tries to stop the blush creeping across his cheeks.
Kissing the snowflakes off each others faces, Remus trying not to laugh at the way your eyes squint when he kisses between your eyes.
Remus would lie in your lap when he was tired. Whether it was at breakfast or in the common room, he would rest his head on your lap, looking up at you in a sleepy, loving way. Occasionally when you were studying or working on homework he’d still manage to sleepily help you. Other times he’d just lie there, playing with your hair until he fell into a gentle sleep.
He would call you “Stardust”. Originally it would start off ironic because other couples had cute names but they were a bit cheesy sometimes, but eventually calling you Stardust would feel so natural to him that he’d whisper it while he traced a finger down your cheek as he lay in your lap, exhausted.
Hugs from behind where Remus holds you against his chest and buries his face in your neck, breathing in your scent with a contented sigh.
Goodnight Kisses where Remus touches your hip gently as you walk away, like it’s an afterthought. You turn and he gently brushes your hair from your face before kissing you gently, your face cupped in his hands. Then he smiles at you, “Goodnight (Y/n).” And he says it in a way that makes your cheeks rosy, your heart race, and you silently swear you’ll get him back later.
Remus helping you with the subjects you struggle with, being incredibly patient. Everytime you get something particularly difficult right he gives you a chocolate or a kiss (or both).
The other Marauders calling you “Mrs Moony” and sometimes “Mum”, especially, “Muuummm, Dad is being a sarcastic patronising shit again.”
Introducing Remus to chocolate kisses (for some reason he’d never seen them before) and he’s just so haPPY because it’s two of his favourite things. After that he gives you kisses all the time and make silly puns and is just adorable.
Side hugs where Remus nuzzles his nose against your neck, making you giggle and blush.
Sitting on Remus’ lap when you’re all sitting in the common room together or sitting between his legs on the floor as he plays with your hair thoughtfully.
Kissing his scars gently as he watches you in awe, thinking he is the luckiest man in the world.
Remus making up different stories everytime he comes back after a full moon. “Oh yeah this? Just a scratch I picked up during my meeting with a dragon. He had a thorn in his foot you see and I tried to help him but he just wasn’t having it.” And even though you know the true story of course you play along, calling him your hero and fake swooning. Remus laughs, pulling you in for a quick side kiss. “I love you.”
Prompt – AU where Peter is a high school AP Physics teacher and Y/N is the Anatomy teacher and all their students ship them but they’re too awkward to notice the other one crushing on them, so the students take it into their own hands.
Warning – some vulgar language. extreme cuteness. teen!Avengers :)))
A/N: btw the narration in this fic might seem a little salty, but that’s only cause I’m really salty right now about some stuff.
not my gifs
“Can you overgrown children give me like five minutes of peace?” She tells her overbearing students, they groan.
“But mom!” Her most annoying student shouted, she rolls her eyes at the boy. Her students had made a habit of calling her mom and it was by far very annoying.
“Tony, you call me mom one more damn time-”
“Ooh! She said damn, that’s a bad word!” Another one of her troublemaking students shouted from the back of the class.
“If it’s a bad word, then why would you say it, Barnes?” She retorted, the boy deflated and sat back down. His boyfriend, Steve, laughing and trying to comfort him as his classmates laughed.
“You guys are high school seniors. I did not sign up to be a teacher to babysit a bunch of five year olds,” she complained, everyone in the class knew she was joking. She was just as rowdy and annoying as they were, it’s why this particular class was her favorite.
“Come on, Ms. Y/L/N, you know you love us,” Natasha, a troublemaking redhead sitting with her feet up on the desk, said with a barely noticeable smirk on her face.
“No you’re wrong. You’re all terrible and I hate you,” Y/N lied as she took a sip from her cup of coffee that sat on top of a pile of papers.
“YOU LOVE US!” Screamed Tony and Clint at the same time, jumping up from their seats and running up to her desk to hug her.
She couldn’t hide her smile then. Sure they were all extremely annoying and loud, but then again so was she.
“Actually no. You know who she does love?” Natasha starts, a smirk rising on her face.
The whole class quiets for a few seconds before they all yell out.
“MR. PARKER!”
A red blush rises on Y/N’s cheeks at the mention of the AP Physics and Calculus teacher, Peter Parker. She tried to deny it every single time, but her students knew better.
“Oh come on guys, not this again!” She whines, and throws her head in an exaggerated exasperated groan.
Ever since Peter had been hired as the new Physics teacher, the students almost immediately began ‘shipping’ them together. The two of them had became close friends in the blink of an eye seeing as they were both huge science nerds, their students saw this. Continuously teasing the both of them about their crushes. Both of them trying their best to deny, but neither of them could lie well enough to a bunch of teenagers who knew and understood the signs of a crush.
“We will bring this up as many times as we can until you guys realize that there’s some major amor going on,” Sam says from the far right row of the class, chewing on his mechanical pencil as he not so discreetly tried to finish his Spanish homework before the bell rang.
The class agreed with him.
“Alright fine, we’ll play it like that. How about I bring up the topic of your grades?” She laughs as the majority of the class starts to beg her not to continue.
“That’s what I thought!” She shouts, laughing loudly at the defeated faces of her students.
For the remainder of the class they reviewed the cardiovascular system for the test they were going to have next class.
The bell rings and the bustling students jumped around in excitement for lunch, “Bye Ms. Y/L/N!” they all shouted.
“Get out! Go to lunch!” She jokingly yells, they laugh and push each other out of the classroom.
Y/N smiles to herself and begins to grade papers from another class.
“Ms. Y/L/N?” She hears a voice say, she looks up and turns her head to see the only freshman student in her class full of seniors.
“Wanda, what are you still doing here? You should be at lunch,” she says in a concerned tone.
“I know but I have a test in European History that I have to study for, and I wanted to ask something of you,” she explains.
“Oh that’s right, I forgot, you have all senior classes. What can I help you with?”
“Could I get some extra credit or something to raise up my grade? I have a college interview in a few days and they’ll be looking at my grades,” the girl asks, clutching her history textbook in her hands.
“Wanda, you already have an A in this class…”
“Yeah, I know but it’s a 99% because of that B that I got on the quiz about the systemic and pulmonary circuits, I was distracted that day,” she wasn’t directly saying it but she was begging for another chance, and Y/N didn’t need any more pressing from her pleading student.
“Do you want to retake the quiz? I doubt you’ll get another B,” she offers, Wanda’s eyes light up.
“Yes please!” Y/N chuckles at the young girl’s’ enthusiasm and rummages through some folders for an empty sheet of the specific quiz.
She finds it and hands it to Wanda who hurriedly grabs it and sits at the nearest desk. Wanda finishes the quiz in minutes before finally scribbling her name and class period on top. Y/N grades her paper in front of her, and to no one’s surprise, she got a perfect 100.
“Oh my god, what a surprise…” Y/N mumbles, Wanda giggles to herself.
The door opens and the two women turn to look at the door.
There Mr. Parker stood at the doorway holding a bag of food that smelled strongly of New York takeout, he saw Wanda standing in front of Y/N’s desk and blushed.
“Should I come back or…?” He trails off.
“No need Mr. Parker, I was just leaving. Thanks Ms. Y/L/N!” Wanda says as she begins to walk to the door.
Peter walks into the room and sets the food down on the desk. Y/N looks behind Peter to see Wanda giving her an enthusiastic thumbs up, then pointing at both Y/N and Peter and making a heart with her fingers. Y/N got up and removed her sneaker before chucking it at the girl, Wanda dodged it and quickly left the class.
Her unmistakable laughter bouncing off the walls of the hallway.
Y/N sat back down to see Peter looking at her weirdly. “What was that about?” He asked opening the container of takeout food, Y/N blushed immensely.
“Oh, nothing.”
…
Wanda runs into the lunchroom in search of her friends, the seniors.
They sat in their usual table, eating away at the chicken wings that were being served today.
“Guys! Guys!” She shouts as she nears the table, they turn their heads to look at their freshman friend.
“What’s up?”
“Ms. Y/L/N and Mr. Parker are in her class right now eating lunch together! He bought her food!” She yells excitedly, the table gasps.
“Seriously?!” Natasha exclaims.
“Dead serious.”
“We’re gonna go spy on them, right?” Clint asks, licking the ketchup off his fingers and wiping his hands on his pants.
“Hell yeah.”
They all snuck out of the lunchroom without getting caught and made their way to Ms. Y/L/N’s classroom. The door had a little rectangular window for them to see through, it wasn’t big enough for all of them but luckily Clint had special access to the school’s air ducts.
Especially the one in Ms. Y/LN’s classroom.
He unlocked his phone and FaceTimed Natasha and pointed the camera at the future couple. Outside of the classroom, the group crowded around Natasha and her phone. They all quieted down and watched the two awkwardest and nerdiest people in the world attempt to have a conversation without mentioning science and or Star Wars.
Both of them failing miserably.
They had somehow gotten into an incredibly deep conversation about Star Wars conspiracy theories.
“Oh my god, these fucking nerds!” Tony whispers, the rest of the group agrees.
“We gotta do something or they’re gonna spiral into a never ending conversation about Darth motherfucking Vader,” Steve says, Bucky nods agreeing with his hunky beefcake.
“Yeah, someone text Barnes and tell him to do something about this…whatever this is,” Bucky says waving his hand for emphasis.
Tony quickly pulls out his phone, his thumbs running over the screen in a blur. A few seconds later, his eyes read a message on the screen.
“He wrote, ‘On it 😉’.”
They all began to silently think of what Clint had in store for their two favorite teachers.
In the air duct, Clint quietly pulled two small rocks from his pocket. He had been planning on throwing them at some kid who messed with him earlier but this was more important.
The air duct he was hiding in was directly above Y/N’s desk but both her and Peter were facing away from him so this was the perfect opportunity.
“So I wanted to ask you something and excuse me if it makes you uncomfortable, but…do your students say anything about us…you know– uh, liking each other?” Peter asks, Y/N almost chokes on her teriyaki chicken but hides it with a strong cough.
“Ehh sometimes, why do you ask?” She lies straight through her teeth and hides her blush by looking down at her lap.
“Well, because-uh they’re always telling me that you…have a crush on me, and that apparently it’s pretty obvious…”
Her hands were now numb and she wanted to disintegrate into thin air.
‘No shit, you fucking idiot,’ she thought.
“Uhh well, I-I wouldn’t say obvious b-but, I mean-” she couldn’t think of anything to say and now she really wanted to die.
Clint couldn’t watch his favorite teacher suffer anymore so he slowly and quietly opens the air duct by removing the detachable air grille.
He throws the first rock at the door, the two teachers turn to the door thinking that someone had knocked. Y/N stands up to open the door, she looks through the little window but when she sees no one she turns back.
Then, Clint throws the second rock right into Peter’s shirt causing him to stand up and spill chicken fried rice covered in soy sauce all down Y/N’s t-shirt.
“Oh shit, fuck! I’m sorry!” He exclaimed trying to apologize.
He grabbed a few napkins and tried to wipe off the soy sauce stains but only making it worse.
“No, i-it’s fine it-”
“I’m so sorry, I-I didn’t mean-”
Both were too flustered to let one another finish their sentence. By now Peter wasn’t wiping anything except for her chest, it took a few seconds for both of them to notice exactly what he was touching.
The blushing idiots finally decided to pull away from each other, and chuckle nervously at their current situation.
“Come on, come on.” Natasha mumbles under her breath as her and the group continue to watch from her phone.
Y/N and Peter were now pretending that the whole thing didn’t happen but the stain on Y/N’s light gray shirt said otherwise. Finally, the two of them mustered up enough confidence to actually say something intelligent.
“Would you like to go out sometime?” They asked simultaneously.
They both chuckle nervously, “I know it’s not the best time to ask, but…I-I’ve been meaning to ask you for a while and I just didn’t know if you…”
She smiles, “Well I do, and I’d love to go out with you.”
At that moment, the group started cheering completely forgetting that the hallway echoed.
“Yes OTP!” Sam shouts, almost immediately slapping his hand over his mouth.
“What the hell?” Y/N mumbles and walks over to the door, seeing their teachers walk toward them the entire group got up and hauled ass back to the lunchroom, the sound of shoes squeaking and stomping on the floor along with the loud swears coming from the teenagers themselves could be heard from inside the classroom.
Clint watching them run on his phone cursed out loud, “Shit!” he said, his eyes widened.
Both Peter and Y/N turned to the vent, “Wha-Clint!” Y/N yelled when she realized what was happening.
There was no point in being quiet now, Clint shimmied down the vent before his teacher crawled in after him.
Peter and Y/N stood there helpless.
“I’m gonna kill them.”
“Meddling kids.”
BONUS:
The next day when the matchmakers walked into Calculus, a class that Peter taught, they all sat next to each other. Being the only people in the school that knew that the two teachers that everyone has been shipping were finally together had its advantages. They’ve been trading test answers for gossip all morning.
The school was bustling with the news.
Y/N Y/L/N and Peter Parker were finally together.
Even Principal Fury and Assistant Principal Hill were excited about it.
When Peter sees them sitting innocently in their seats, he turns to them.
“I don’t know whether to say thank you or goodbye, she was pretty angry.”
“Ah, she’ll get over it once you give her that good nerd loving,” Sam jokes, Peter blushes and a tries to hide a very noticeable smile.
“Ew dude, that’s our mom you’re talking about,” Tony says.
Clint perks up.
“Speaking of mom, we’re not calling you dad.”
.
.
.
A/N: I had way too much fun with this. This was mostly about the teen!Avengers, but honestly I live for that AU.
Toad's Cave 