In this time of term papers I wanted to draw my patron deity, Bullshitticus, god of students and general last minute fudgery, sitting upon his Golden Futon, attended by the muses Caffeina and Thesaurae, whose powers of artificial energy and pretentious vocabulary can be invoked in case of the all-nighter.
I like to think he’s Dionysus’s second cousin or something.
[“hey [name], i’m struggling a bit with this potion’s assignment. is it a-alright if we work together on it?”]
[“of course, remus. do you want to meet up at the library?”]
[the marauders knowing exactly what remus is trying to do and wanting to embarrass him whenever you’re around.]
[“hey remus, sirius and james keeps calling me mrs. moony. i don’t know what this means, since no one has the surname ‘moony’ in our class.”]
[“d-don’t worry about it! black and potter are just being their usual annoying s-selves!”]
[he would always share his chocolates with you. always.]
[when you are feeling down or unconfident, remus would leave you ‘anonymous’ love letters written on a scrap piece of parchment.]
[you would always find them randomly, too. especially if you had been crying by yourself in a quiet corner somewhere.]
[remus was especially heartbroken when he realized you had a crush on some slytherin dudeTM who definitely didn’t deserve you to begin with.]
[and the amount of notes you would receive from him would be at an all time high after you had been rejected and laughed at by your slytherin crushTM]
[don’t cry, you’re much lovelier when you smile.]
[any man who is stupid enough to reject you never deserved you to begin with. please find comfort in knowing that i love you unconditionally.]
[his last note made you blush so hard???]
[because you had your heart broken by some asshole slytherin that you genuinely liked???]
[and these little scrap notes of affections were literally the highlight of your life???]
[you finally realize the author of these notes was remus when he and the rest of the marauders have a little “”“talk”“” with your ex crush.]
[and you stop remus from getting detention by preventing him from punching your old crush in the face.]
[“he’s not worth it, rem.”]
[“yes but, no one breaks your heart and gets away with it.”]
[“but i’m not heartbroken anymore because i have you. i…i like you, remus.”]
[he forgets all about your heartbreak and kisses you right then and there.]
[the perks of being his girlfriend include: wearing/stealing his sweater without any complaints from him and giving it back to him when it loses his scent.]
[“sweetheart, i need you to wear this again. it lost your scent weeks ago and i miss the scent of chocolate and cinnamon.”]
[remus taking back his sweater with a chuckle, “so that’s where my favorite sweater went. to think that i had been looking everywhere for it for no reason.”]
[but you had already taken a new sweater from him in the middle of his explanation.]
[remus being terrified at the thought of you finding out that he was a werewolf.]
[you finding out about it when you follow the marauder’s to the shrieking shack.]
[remus telling you how sorry he is for being a monster.]
[you always reassuring him that there was nothing scary about him.]
[“you say that you are a monster, yet all i see is a beautiful boy who loves chocolate and is a wonderful wizard. you’re not scary at all.”]
[“i love you.” “I love you too, remus.”]
[james helping you sneak into remus’ dorm after his whole ordeal with the full moon.]
[he lends you his cloak of invisibility so that you could go in and out of remus’ room while undetected.]
[remus holding you close to his chest while promising you that he would protect you with his life.]
[you promising to love him unconditionally.]
[sharing many kisses with him where remus loves to bring you closer by delving his fingers into your hair.]
[you and remus living a long and happy life together after voldemort’s defeat.]
[soooo many little children. remus is the greatest father who spoils his kids every chance that he gets.]
[this includes eating chocolates before dinner,,,, much to your chagrin as remus and your kids flash you a sheepish but content smile.]
i was talking to max about how my hometown in NC has changed since he’s been gone and he pointed out that our town is quickly becoming a wtnv situation. for instance:
apparently our high school, which is 96 years old and looks like a 16th century gothic castle (complete with lion gargoyles), has a fourth floor that no one really knew about until this year. no one knows how long it’s been in the building but from pictures it looks completely different than the rest and has a strange metal staircase in a spiral pattern.
there is also a basement in the high school with a swimming pool but no one is allowed down there and it is starting to rot the first floor.
for a good while there was a nice elderly black man that would stand outside of random stores and street corners and dance to make people smile. however, in the past few months he has disappeared and is nowhere to be found.
we have a kapstone paper mill in our town and it is regularly normal but some days the smell is absolutely overwhelming and blankets the town like a thick fog.
the abandoned movie theater is blocked off to the public but i was talking to some girls from school about it who occasionally break in to chill what it is like on the inside, and they said that there is a giant, bottomless hole in the entrance’s floor so they have to tiptoe across a single plank of wood to get to the other side.
fairly popular places in town will close down for literally no reason.
one time a tornado came through our town and it destroyed the sonic drive-in and a car dealership next to it but no debris could be found. only the empty lots were there. they rebuilt the sonic in less than a month but the car rental lot was kept empty and now bored teenagers harp around it like vultures.
one time my grandmother saw an unidentified animal in our backyard. she thought it was a fox but when my dog barked at it, it stood up on its back legs and ran away.
fox and coyote sightings are becoming strangely frequent in one single area of town and no one knows why???? its like they all congregate near a horse stable by an old junkyard my cousin used to work at.
whenever a dog runs away from home they all end up coming to my house. every dog that gets loose.
my grandmother saw an unidentified bird in a tree and i still can’t figure out what kind it was based on her description.
sometimes you can hear random gunshots and loud, unknown bestial screams in the uptown areas
there’s probably more but i don’t really get out much. these are just things that i’ve witnessed myself or is common knowledge in town.
another addition:
everyone forgets our mayor’s name and we’re not sure who our current mayor even is
Toad's Cave 