sirius black getting so drunk one night that he transformed into padfoot and ate everything that dogs cannot eat and he wakes up the next day and he’s like whAT THE HELL DID I dO and he’s on edge for the next couple of days crying ‘am i going to die’
james has to remind him that he’s not really a dog but then remus is quiet for a second before going ‘but he ate it as a dog’ and they’re all like stumped for words until peter asks mcgonagall a ‘totally hypothetical’ question about eating things whilst in animagus form
I bet all the Hogwarts teachers get an unreal amount of “totally hypothetical” questions from students.
Doc (about 10k): sometimes boys just need to be boys
Addy: You do realize he did thousands worth of property damage right?
Who would be constantly kissing the other?
Kurt would. He’d be constantly teleporting over to you and pecking your cheek them materialising at the other end of the room like nothing ever happened.
2) Who’s the big spoon and little spoon?
Your the big spoon. Kurt loves to curl up in your arms and you love the feeling of him clinging to you like a lifeline.
3) Fuck or make love?
Make love, and it’s the sweetest thing on earth.
4) Who’s on top?
You are. Kurt loves it when you take control and you are 100% happy to oblige.
5) Who wakes up first?
You both usually wake up at around the same time.
6) Who constantly wants to hold the other?
You do. You love hugging Kurt and would do it 24/7 if you could.
7) Who has a sweet tooth?
Kurt does after you and Peter introduced him to Twinkie’s , he couldn’t get enough.
8) Who’s the singer out of the two of you?
You are, but Kurt sometimes sings German songs his mum taught him.
9) Who’s the bigger nerd?
You are. Kurt doesn’t really know anything about pop culture but soon you will have him converted.
10) Who’s terrified of horror flicks?
Kurt is. The mere thought of them absolutely terrifies him so you never watch them.
11) Who wants to stay in bed the longest?
You both do. You love sleep and the comfort it brings,
12) Who says the first ‘I love you’?
Kurt did when you first started going out.
He teleported outside to the lake by the back of the mansion and sat you down, holding your hands in his own, he told you how deeply he loved you,
13) Who gets jealous?
Kurt does. But in a cute “hi my name is Kurt Wagner this is my girlfriend your taking to” kind of way, he’s so freaking innocent it hurts.
14) Who would sing your baby to sleep?
I think you’d both take turns. Kurt singing in German or you singing a nursery rhyme.
15) Who needs the most reassurance?
Kurt does. People often stare at him for his blue colour and that kind of freaks him out a little but you assure him he’s perfect in every way.
16) Who just wants to be held by the other?
You love being hugged by Kurt and he loves being hugged by you. The feeling is completely mutual.
17) Who whispers the dirtiest things in the others ear at all the wrong times?
You do. He doesn’t know what your talking about half the time but hen he does he blushes the deepest shade of red ever.
18) Who knocks everything over?
It’s a combination of Kurt’s tail and his teleportation. Both of these things allow him to break more things than you ever thought possible, like the professors favourite vase.
19) Who wants a baby?
You do. But Kurt isn’t really ready for something like that just yet.
20) Who brings home all stray animals?
Neither of you really go outside of the mansion that much so there really isn’t many stray animals around. But Kurt really wants to get a bird for some reason.
21) Who gets the most nightmares?
Kurt gets nightmares about his time in the circus but no more than any other person would usually get. He’s unusually calm at night and you are totally okay with being there for him when he’s not.
22) Who’s the complete flirt?
Kurt tries to be, but fails. And also succeeds when you kiss him for being so adorable.
23) Who’s the kinkiest?
You are, but you think Kurt has some secret kinks he hasn’t unlocked yet.
24) Who’s biggest tease?
Kurt unintentionally is. He goes so damn slow it actually pains you, but he doesn’t do it deliberately. You think he’s still testing the waters.
25) Who’s the one who loves giving/receiving oral?
Kurt loves exploring this with you. You basically just tell him to go for it and he does. And each time he does it it’s different cause he’s still trying to figure out what’s right for you and which way you like most.
26) Who’s the most protective?
You are definitely the most protective of him because of him trying to find his way around a new culture , language and trying to come to grips with the way people perceive him.
He’s still pretty protective of you on missions though and always teleports you out of danger.
You had a lot of different chapstick flavors. From the classics to the holiday favorites (that often seemed absurd and extremely impractical), you had all of them. It wasn’t to make your lips super smooth for effortless lipstick appliance, nor was it to amaze your boyfriend with non-chapped lips. It was in fact for a game. It was for a game that you and Warren had started way back on a very memorable New Year’s Day, on the terms of a very happy accident.
You applied a thick coat of the cherry chapstick before you met Warren in the living room for a movie marathon. It was a New Year’s tradition for you two. As you sat down with the popcorn bowl in hand, he greeted you with a peck on the lips. He paused a moment, rubbing his lips together in deep thought.
“Cherry?” he wondered out loud. You couldn’t help but smile and laugh.
“Yep,” you had told him before bringing him into another cherry flavored kiss. Of course you both had enjoyed this little guessing game. It began to be a routine, and it went on year round.
“What’s today’s flavor?” Warren asked on Valentine’s Day. You smirked at him, patting the bed beside you.
“Come and see for yourself,” you said. Warren, already eager, pressed himself against you on the bed, his hands on either side of you head. He gave you a long kiss, then pulled away with a grin as he started to unbutton his dress shirt he had worn for your previous lunch date.
“Chocolate,” he muttered against your neck as you let out a hum of satisfaction. Warren had developed quite the talent for determining chapstick flavors, including the crazy ones, like banana split or birthday cake. You were looking forward to a day where you could see Warren guess incorrectly. You had hoped to stump him in March, with your Irish cream flavored chapstick, but he had gotten that one too, to your surprise. When July came around, it was almost nothing to guess the flavor for him.
You two were seated on top of your house, waiting for whatever fireworks would go off in the neighborhood. He had a protective arm around you, in fear that you would fall. He looked at you with sparkling eyes and a large cheeky grin. You couldn’t help but kissing him on the spot. Warren had erupted a deep throaty chuckle, then looked you in the eyes.
“Pink lemonade, very patriotic.” he winked, before the first firework of the night cascaded across the night sky. The same sky you found yourself looking up at on Halloween night with the clock nearing midnight. You two were laying on the roof, backs flush against the roughness of your house top. Warren was ironically enough dressed as an angel, and you a devil. It was only a matter of time before you were straddling his waist with your lips connected in a passionate kiss.
“Did I finally get you?” you asked, obviously hoping that you had stumped your boyfriend when he didn’t automatically guess the flavor on your lips. Warren bit his lip, then smiled with a shake of his head.
“Candy corn, you monster.” he mocked dramatically. You knew he hated candy corn, but that didn’t stop you from wearing it. You knew he would kiss you anyway.
On Thanksgiving, he had spent the day with your family, considering his own family problems. Your family had always accepted Warren, and they happily allowed him to join you for Thanksgiving dinner. He was seated at the table, looking at the turkey with desire. You walked beside him, placing another side dish in front of him, then kissing him on the cheek.
“A cheek kiss?” he pouted, resting his arm on the table. You rolled your eyes, but smiled anyway as you placed a gentle kiss to his lips. “Predictable,” he muttered as you started to walk away.
“What?” you turned back to him, confused.
“Pumpkin pie.” he raised his eyebrows, which caused you to very lovingly flip him off. It was these family bond celebrating holidays that you really loved to spend with Warren. Any couple could hang out and kiss and call it a connection, but you knew that you and Warren were different.
On Christmas, it was the same deal. You and Warren being together as an ‘item’ on Christmas day with your family. He fit in with everyone perfectly. After your annual gift exchange, and thanking everyone for such lovely presents, you and Warren had snuck off to your bedroom. You two were wearing the stereotypical festive elf/Santa hats, and were cuddled up in each others arms as you watched The Polar Express. It wasn’t even twenty minutes into the movie that you two shared a long kiss. Aside from the fact that it was Christmas, what made this flavor memorable was that it was Warren’s favorite. You two had many chapstick flavors, new ones almost every day, but it was the special moments that made your chapstick game fun.
“Ginger bread cookie.” Warren smiled, finally, resting his forehead against yours. “My favorite.” It was a beautiful picture perfect moment to end the year, and both of you knew it. You two looked forward to new opportunities for each of you, each other’s company and support, and many more chapstick flavors to guess.
Toad's Cave 