It’s wild how like… JKR is so skilled at so many aspects of writing, especially in little character moments, but when it comes to implications of throwaway lines she just… not a SINGLE thought.
Like in Chamber of Secrets, when Harry is talking to Tom / Voldemort and is like, you Framed Hagrid, Tom is like, yeah he was always trying to raise monsters,
he says that Hagrid tried to raise werewolf cubs under his bed like…
oh you mean like, children? like human children?
Tag: Harry Potter
I’m imagining the epilouge but with Neville’s kid instead of Harry’s.
Sensibly Named Child: Dad, what if the hat puts me in Slytherin?
Neville: Then it means you really are a Slytherin. Do you have any idea how hard I begged to be a Hufflepuff? How hard I argued with the hat against Gryffindor? And you know what, it turns out the hat was right and I pulled the sword out of the hat and killed the snake. It’s a magical hat and you’re an eleven year old who thinks Axe works to attract girls. You know nothing, listen to the hat.
so THIS is why he tried to shake Harry’s hand!
i honestly wish there was just a crack version of all the hp movies and this was the basis of the first plot
Theory: JK Rowling is actually Barty Crouch Jr taking polyjuice potion. The real JK Rowling is locked in a suitcase in Scotland. I pray daily for her release.
My conspiracy is she pulled a Gilderoy Lockhart and the Harry Potter series isn’t hers and now she’s writing bad fan fiction to pretend like she actually wrote it.
This is also good.
Harry Potter Mashups: Brooklyn 99
i just keep going on buzzfeed and finding things i love and posting them whoops 😉
The Maraders era
Remus Lupin: Sirius you did what.
Inspired by this post and others by lotstradamus
#i want the 50k story of facepalming remus and panicked sirius with kidnapped baby harry on the run from dumbledore (via meh-guh)
Ok but hasn’t it been shown that a single stupefy wouldn’t be enough to have an effect on hagrid due to his giant blood?
clearly this means that hagrid pretended that the stupefy knocked him out, gently laid down on the ground so the baby wasn’t jostled, and pretended to snore while sirius ran the fuck away
possibly interrupting himself mid-snore to offer advice
*Hagrid sits up*
“SUPPORT ‘IS LI’IL HEAD, YE GREAT IDIOT!”
*lies down*
*Sirius climbs on motorbike*
*Hagrid sits up again*
“DON’ FERGET TO BURP ‘IM AFTER A FEEDIN!”
*Motorbike zooms off*
*Hagrid sits up, cups hands and yells*
“AN’ MAKE SURE ‘E SLEEPS ON ‘IS BACK!”
*lies down again for another five minutes for good measure*
then he lies there mumbling about how he shouldn’t’ve said that
This is fucking fantastic
Still one of the best posts/additions.
Never not post this
Hagrid, to Dumbledore: I don’t know what ‘appened, sir. One minute, I was holdin’ the baby, then bam! Flat on me back for who knows ‘ow long!
Dumbledore: *stares suspiciously, taking in Hagrid’s giantness*
Apparently this inspired a fic! It’s called Raising Harry, and you can read it here! It’s on my To Read list!
I was gonna say, didn’t @copperbadge already write this story? Wasn’t it like famous and everything?
How soon they forget 😀
When you opened the door this morning, intending to grab your phone out of the car before the nosy neighbours woke up and started snooping, you had definitely not been expecting to nearly trip over a basket. With a string of quiet curses, you stepped back and then gingerly looked into it, only to recoil in shock.
“Who the flying fuck leaves a baby on a doorstep?! And in this motherfucking weather!! What the shit??!!”
Phone forgotten, you carried the baby inside quickly, wanting to make sure it was warm and unharmed. Thank fuck those Dursley arseholes had asked you to house sit at the last minute, while they went on holidays. Who knows what those creeps would have done.
Gingerly, you picked up the baby, watching them stir and then calm as you tucked their chilly body close to your own. A small jolt passed through you as your skin touched and you froze, mind blown. Some fucking moron had dumped not just a child, but a Magical child on the doorstep of the most closed minded fucks in town?
You could only think of how lucky it was that someone with magic was around to find them and sense their own magic. Who knows what those closed minded twats would have done. They’d have probably locked them in a closet or something, you thought grimly. Sighing, you looked down at the sleeping child’s messy hair, unconsciously rocking back and forth to soothe them.
“Guess you’re coming with me cutie” You murmured lowly.
Toad's Cave 