saw too many angsty vampire scenarios of this dweeb and not enough of his eccentric side so get ready for some fluff:
They’re actual children with each other, okay? Hide and seek around the manor? Absolutely.
He wins, every time. Because he cheats, every time. His favorite thing is reaching through the walls and grabbing them when they think they’re well-hidden.
“Oh no I’m being hunted by a terrible vampire” is another game they have, laughter and squeals echoing down the streets as he chases them. It’s 1AM and the people nearby just want to sleep.
Actually really loves dancing with them, whether it’s slow or swing.
Sometimes it’s silly, like a tango complete with a rose-in-the-mouth and a cheeky grin. They’re giggling the whole time and he adores it.
PDA. So much PDA. Insane amounts of PDA.
We’re talking dramatic dips and twirls. We’re talking long, exaggerated kisses in front of God and everyone.
Mainly does it because he likes making people uncomfortable, but he enjoys the added benefit of making it explicitly clear to everyone just who exactly his s/o belongs to.
Licks their hand every time it comes near his face in a non-serious situation. They hate it. Stop that–
Literally down for anything his s/o would suggest in the bedroom. Lots of kisses and experimenting and giggling.
Just get fuckin’ weird with it.
Just being so comfortable with each other, each of them so accepting of their lover’s oddities.
Most importantly; taking naps together. Doesn’t matter where or when. He’s so tired. Let him snuggle and sleep.
Warnings: None but my questionable choice in men? Oh and mentions of NSFW
Author’s Note: I just decided to write this while blasting Pork Soda. It’s pretty short. Requests open (and ask box if you just wanna talk/ask me something)
~
Alucard is a very…unorthodox lover but he tries. It usually backfires but he’s smooth enough to make it look good. Though he can occasionally fails (Y/N: *smiles at him*. Seras: Master did you just shoot yourself in the foot while looking at Y/N)
Only occasionally says your name. He has an unending arsenal of pet-names. From babe to my beloved. Random Romanian ones thrown in as well
You have seen each of his forms at least four times (he sometimes uses them to, ahem, spice things up during the sexy times)
If you want Vladcard, just ask and Alucard will happily show you
His dog form is surprisingly fuzzy???
He liked to phase out of walls to scare you. Leaning against the wall? Surprise wall hug. Walking down the hallway. Prepare your butt bc he’s gonna pop up (”You looked like you needed the company~.”)
He’s cold so snuggling up to him during the summer is an A+ idea
Vladcard likes to purr Romanian words in your ear
Half the Hellsing staff ships it. Seras and Pip are your Number One Shippers
Seras is basically your daughter
After Alucard turns you, despite whatever gender you are, you are now his Queen
Alucard’s personality kind of does a 180 when it comes to romance and you
Alucard tends to worship you. His lips will shower any exposed skin as he growls praises against your skin
Date nights actually are a, albeit rare, thing. He’ll buy out (or intimidate the owner) a restaurant so you two can enjoy a nice meal together. He sneaks you out to your favorite places
In bed he’s either gentle and passionate or so rough and feverish that you can’t walk straight for a week
Alucard and all of his forms are not necessarily jealous, just very protective
Contrary to the popular belief, he’s not a yandere. Again, he’s just very protective but he’d never take it that far. His beliefs of love and combat are very different
He sometimes goes days avoiding you. On those days, the fear of him somehow hurting you are far too overwhelming
He respects you and your decisions. He’s always going to be there for you
The relationship doesn’t really follow the standards and isn’t “normal” but its still a working and healthy one
Author’s Note: I tried to keep it gender-neutral and Alucard may be a bit OOC. Requests are open (for male, female, and other genders). Thank you for your time!
~
Who would be constantly kissing the other? Mostly you. Though Alucard does like giving and receiving random acts of PDA
Who’s the big spoon and who’s the little spoon? Alucard is the big spoon, no argument there. He’s protective (its part of his nature)
NSFW Fuck or make love? Usually its very rough sex, but Alucard surprises you by making love to you
NSFW Who’s on top? It depends on what the two of you want to do that night 😉
Who wakes up first? You since Alucard literally sleeps until sunset
Who wants to constantly hold the other? Both of you! (Though Alucard sometimes abuses it and wraps you in an embrace and refuses to let you leave. He even pouts and sulks)
Who has a sweet tooth? You and, surprisingly, Alucard (He often says you’re the sweetest thing he’s ever tasted~)
Who’s the singer out of you two? You. Alucard adores it
Who’s the biggest nerd? You. Alucard enjoys teasing you about it till your cheeks turn red and then kissing/hugging you as an apology (He just does it as an excuse to give you affection)
Who’s terrified of horror flicks? Neither of you. Your jobs are terrifying enough…and so is Alucard
Who wants to stay in bed the longest? Alucard (He’s lazy)
Who says I love you first? You. It slipped out accidentally and that was the first time you ever saw Alucard shocked and speechless. He replied by dipping you and giving you a sweet and passionate kiss
Who gets jealous? Alucard and his wraith is unforgiving. One time another Hellsing member flirted with you and you never saw him again
Who would sing your baby to sleep? If you two manage to conceive/adopt, both of you would sing your child to sleep. Alucard has Romanian lullabies at his disposal
Who needs the most reassurance? Surprisingly, Alucard. He feels like he’s a monster who’s unworthy of you
Who just wants to be held? You. Alucard will gladly fulfill that wish
NSFW Who whispers the dirtiest things in the other’s ear at all the wrong times? Alucard in Romanian and English~
Who knocks everything over? You (and Seras)
Who wants a baby? Its complicated. Sometimes the both of you wish for one but then realize how dangerous it would be for the child
Who brings home all the stray animals? You. Alucard does it with police girls
Who gets the most nightmares? Alucard
Who’s the complete flirt? Alucard but you have your moments
NSFW Who’s the kinkiest? Definitely Alucard
NSFW Who’s the biggest tease? Alucard~
NSFW Who’s the one who loves giving/receiving oral? Both of you
My friend got me DayQuil for Valentine’s Day and that is literally the best thing I have ever gotten. Happy Valentine’s Day and I do hope you enjoy these appropriately themed headcanons.
-Admin Ebony
Pip Bernadotte:
– Chocolates, roses, and even one of those skywriters: Pip brought out his entire arsenal. He’s a hopeless romantic and he wants you to know this. So please expect a sappy date and possibly a heated night.
– He’ll shower you with love and affection, he chants “Je t’aime” like its a prayer. You are his addiction and he can’t get enough of you. He wants to make up for his clinginess with gifts, it also gives him a chance to spoil you.
– He would probably get his men to help in some way, they might throw confetti or hold up a banner.
Seras Victoria:
– You would come back from a mission to crash on your bed only to see Seras already there, laid out in a provocative outfit. She doesn’t really have a sexual drive but this day is different and she wants to make you feel as good as she can.
– After a particularly rough and hot hook up, it’s all cuddles from there. She wants to be the little spoon because this day isn’t just about one of you. You two reciprocate pampering.
– Prepared to be fed chocolates, taking turns actually. She places a chocolate in your mouth and then you enter with the whipped cream dipped strawberry. It doesn’t get any cuter than this.
Walter C. Dornez:
– You wake up to a perfectly prepared breakfast in bed, garnished with a vase of flowers and a card. Walter is there at you beside a you indulge in all your favorite foods, watching you with a peaceful expression.
– When you go to thank him, he simply shrugs it off and asked for payment in kisses, which may or may not turn into something friskier. I mean who knows with him?
– He’d draw you up a bath, complete with candles and rose petals. You both undress and step into the water. He hugs you to his chest as you inhale the cherry blossom fragrance that floats through the air. You couldn’t ask for a better day.
Integra Hellsing:
– She would probably forget, its Seras that mentions it. She’s like,” So what are you going to do for (Y/N) for Valentine’s Day?”
– Hearing this Integra has a heart attack and showers you with apologies for forgetting such a detrimental day. You shrug it off and say that you didn’t want anything big.
– So that’s it. A nice candlelight dinner with Integra as you both discuss matters. It may not seem romantic to others, but it’s this simple time in each others’ presence that you enjoy.
Alucard:
– Don’t even get me started on this shitbag. He wakes you up with cuddles. Then it’s a morning full of him actually being nice for once. He lists off everything he loves about you and then makes an effort to cook for you.
– He tried really hard to plan a date, he even asked Seras to help him, but of course it was a walk in the woods and you know what that means. By the end of it you were covered in blood and had killed a few vampires but you couldn’t ask for a better night.
– While cleaning up you and him shared a good laugh over the unexpected incident but nonetheless you ended the night with some hanky panky and a lot of love.
– Him explaining you he is a vampire, and you teasing him calling “Edward Cullen”, “Count Chocula” and other modern culture vampire names, and even warning him about Blade and his crew, because you obviusly believe not a word, and him having to show you his powers to convice you.
– Him asking you for a date, being a bit outdated on his manners when doing it, and you accepting but teasing him by saying you accepted only because someone have to teach him some forms of asking for a date of this century.
– Him calling on your window the storm nights and offering to stay with you, because he knows you doesn’t like them so much -translation: you are planning to sleep under your bed praying for your life because the sky is falling on your head-, and bringing with him your favourite junk food and sweets to convice you.
– Him, if he is studying with you, spending many time between the library and the chemistry lab, not only because he have cravings of knowledge, but because that places got roof and not many windows, and you discovering yourself spending so many time with him that your own skin is turning paler.
– Him taking you to the last nocturnal sessions on the old cinemas, specially if they are sky open and its summer time, and stealing some of your popcorn only to let you tease him about he doesn’t eat that things, so he shoudn’t steal your popcorn
.- Him politely answering every one of your questions about his world, his routines, how he eats and when… because he knows you are only a curious person and not are trying to judge him.
– Him keeping you safe of the bullies of the school / high school / college by his simple presence, or by confronting them directly and forcing them with his superior force to say their apologies to you.
– Him watching your favorite tv shows or movies with you, both wrapped on a big blanket on your bedroom, grabbing your hand when the monster comes out on screen, giving you kleanex when a character you likes dies, or explaining you why that clothes are not adecuated for that historical period.
– You, when Halloween is around the corner, teasing him by telling he should disguise as a vampire, and him looking you serious on the eye, telling you that joke stops being funny the fifth time you said it, but dressing finally as Dracula -our modern concept of Dracula, black and red cape, white shirt… , not like his father, of course – for the party you both are going to attend.
Warnings: I try to be funny? They/them pronouns for reader
AN:// Just some random, horrible, terrible ficlet idea that popped into my head. If people like it, I can make it a series. Send in requests for it if you do
~
Integra sighed heavily, fingertips rubbing her temples with increasing pressure. Seras could practically feel the annoyance and frustration rolling off the older woman in tsunami-like waves. The young vampire shifted closer to (Y/N), who’s nose was stuck so far deep in a book, Seras doubted they had any idea as to what was going on.
“Alucard…” She growled. “I said no.” Seras’ Master only grinned wider in response. “Correction. You said ‘God no. Now leave me alone for the love of all things holy.” Alucard teased. Integra’s mouth twitched further down wards.
Alucard pressed a hand to his chest as he continued. “But I am not holy, Master. So…no.” He mused. Integra groaned loudly and covered her face with her palm. “You are not getting another plane, Alucard!” She hissed.
Alucard said nothing, choosing to lean further back in his leather chair with folded hands. “Yes.” He stated simply. Integra stared at him in disbelief. “No!” She snapped. Alucard slyly smirked. “Yes.” He replied. Integra gaped at him, rage all over her face. Though in Seras’ opinion, it was more like the rage of a mother with a rambunctious child than actual anger.
A chorus of ‘yes’ and ‘no’ bounce between the pair like a hyperactive tennis match. Seras could only watch and cringe in anticipation of Integra’s explosion. The woman looked like she was ready to blow. Seras perked up upon hearing (Y/N)’s book close.
“Alucard.” They said, standing. The vampire halted his torture of his Master to peer at his mate as they strolled towards him. (Y/N) stood behind his chair, leaning down to drape their arms over him. Seras noticed a small, smug smirk weaseling it’s way onto Integra’s lips.
(Y/N) pressed a kiss to Alucard’s cheekbone and softly whispered: “No.” The No-Life King gaped and (Y/N) snickered before walking away. Alucard hastily stood and padded after them like a puppy. Seras had to laugh into her hand. That laughter exploded out of control when a faint “Why not, love?!” was heard down the hall.
Integra sighed and sank into her seat. “Glad to see that someone got him on a leash.”
You told Alucard that as soon as you got off work you would spend the rest of the day with him, but he wasn’t having that. It was his first day off in a while and he wanted to spend it with you. It was too short notice for you to take the day off, and he couldn’t come to work with you, so the two of you compromised.
As you walked through the doors of your office building, you could feel his little bat body moving against your chest. Since you’re not supposed to have guests at work, Alucard suggested he turn into a bat and hide in your jacket. You tried to convince him otherwise, but his mind was made up. Before you could protest, he had transformed and was getting cozy beneath your jacket.
You checked the rest of the room when you sat down at your desk. From what you could tell, there was no one nearby.
“All right, it’s all clear,” You whispered to him.
Moments later, his little head popped out. He shifted himself upward so he could place his head against your collarbones while he wrapped his wings around you.
“Thank goodness, it was starting to get stuffy in there.”
“Now stay quiet and let me work,” You whispered, booting up your computer to start the day.
For the most part, he wasn’t that bad. Mostly he just relaxed and watched you work, but occasionally he would do something to pester you.
“Stop nibbling,” You whispered angrily, feeling his tiny little fangs against your skin.
“I’m thirsty,” He replied, taking an even harder bite.
It hurt, but not nearly as bad as when he does it normally.
“Just be quick about it.”
“Am I not always?”
When he had drunk his fill, he used his tiny little bat tongue to lap up the excess. Feeling the tiny little thing sliding across your skin made you giggle. He noticed this and started to lick even harder and faster, trying to get more giggles out of you.
“Stop, someone will catch on,” You warned between giggles.
“I don’t care,” He teased.
With him around, you were lucky you didn’t get caught.
Toad's Cave 