(Ahhhhh I got another request for the “main three” as well–would that be Allen, Kanda, and Lavi? I will answer this ask as such but if you wanted different characters please send in the request again with the specification. Also I just spent nearly 50 minutes going through my blog because I swear I’ve done a request like this before, but I couldn’t find it. I’ll just…I’ll do it anyway but if I have done it before, the headcanons may or may not be a bit different because I can’t remember! Curse my poor memory…)
Allen says it completely by accident–it was a total slip! he still meant it, though.
He flounders a bit when he realizes what he’s said. His face is really red and his hands are waving about dangerously as rambles on about how he meant what he said but that you don’t have to reply or say it back, he understands if it’s too early!
He’s so embarrassed yet…so relieved. Saying it out loud makes it feel so real. There was a time where he thought he wouldn’t have the chance to say this to anyone.
He’s so sweet and sincere. Put him out of his misery, tell him you love him too. Please. He needs it.
Kanda takes his good old time telling you that he loves you, and honestly, he probably says it only after you do. He definitely wouldn’t say it on his own accord.
Up until then, he had preferred to show his feeling through actions–not even necessarily romantic affections. He’d go out of his way to give you tips on fighting and technique, he’d bring you food if he hadn’t seen you for a while. He offers to turn in your mission report if he’s heading over that way. Simple stuff like that.
He probably is also quite…afraid of confessing his feelings to you. He’s a closed off guy, he isn’t good at being open and vulnerable. Only after he hears it from you does he get the courage to tell you.
Even then, though, it’s soft, quiet, barely a whisper. Sort and simple, “…love you, too.” Or, Hell, he might even go for the “me too”.
Lavi’s is a relieved confession, a admittance for only your ears. He says it with a content sigh, his head in his hand while he looks down at you, laying in the bed next to him.
He is absolutely aware of what he said. You already knew that you were incredibly special to him, because he told you as much when he asked you out. While the words “i love you” hadn’t left his lips when he first approached you about it, it carried as much impact as if he would have.
So it’s not like it’s big news to you or anything, but that genuine smile on his face and the twinkle in his eye is enough to get to your heart and turn your ears pink.
During this moment, behind closed doors, he’s much more genuine. Much sweeter, much realer. This is a side of him only you get to see. So when he ducks his head down to give your reddening face a bunch of kisses, you can’t help but soak up all the attention, and feel a sense of pride in being able to crack open this Bookman-in-training’s strong armor and get to hold his soft and fragile heart.
“Che, General Tiedoll, we really don’t have time to be sitting out in the open like this to…draw,” Yu Kanda huffed, trying to keep his annoyance in check, although it was very difficult to do so. General Tiedoll merely hummed in reply.
“Oh, Kanda, you have to learn to take a break every now and again. It’s good for your health,” Tiedoll smiled to himself, hidden from Kanda’s line of sight, “And it’d help you to not look so sour all of the time.”
Kanda glared, grumbled, but did not spit back a retort, even though he thought his master’s philosophies were a waste of time. There was a war going on, after all, so he didn’t have the luxury of being able to “relax”. If you don’t want me to look so “sour”, Kanda thought bitterly to himself, Maybe you should stop being so careless with your hobbies.
“You have to learn to enjoy the little things in life, Kanda,” Tiedoll went on, the joking tone dropping from his voice. “You’ll be amazed how much your outlook on life will change once you can do that.”
Kanda’s scowl softened a bit in contemplation. What is that suppose to mean? He wondered, but did not ask, as he did not want to risk being talked down to, even though he knew his master would never purposely do that. He also didn’t want to risk seeing any glimpse of pity in the old man’s eyes, as he had seen before in his youth.
The more he thought about it, the bigger the picture became for Kanda. Sure, some may say he hated everything, but that wasn’t entirely true. There were some things he liked–even enjoyed. He liked soba a lot. He could appreciate an interesting flower when he came across one, though he kept that appreciation internalized. He liked being able to spend time outside after having been locked up in his childhood. He also liked–
“You know, Kanda, from that look on your face, maybe I was wrong to assume you did not enjoy the little things,” General Tiedoll abruptly spoke. “In fact, I’d even wager you are starting to enjoy the bigger things in life, too.”
“What are you talking about?” Kanda asked, annoyed at the cryptic comment.
“I can’t say for sure, but,” General Tiedoll stood, stretched out his sore muscles, and moved to stand in front of Kanda. “The look in your eyes…They have not always been that soft. I wonder, what were you thinking about just now? Ah, you don’t have to answer. I’m just happy to see that you’re happy.”
Kanda took a step back, eyes widening a fraction in surprise. He hadn’t realize his face had changed at all while he was thinking. General Tiedoll’s sudden comment through off Kanda’s train of thought, just as he was about to recall his time spent with you. Kanda’s eyes narrowed as his gaze fell to the ground. Did spending time with you make him happy? He wasn’t sure; he didn’t hate being around you, and preferred having you join him on missions than someone like Lavi or Moyashi.
“If I didn’t know any better,” Tiedoll spoke up once more while he gathered up his art supplies, now finished. “I would guess that you were in love. This old man can’t wait to see the day where his dear Kanda finds someone special!”
“Whatever,” Kanda mumbled under his breath, picking up their luggage and following after his master when he started down the dirt path. He didn’t think he was in love, but how could he be sure? He couldn’t remember what being in love felt like, other than painful. You didn’t make him feel pain, though, so was it really love? Or was he just letting the general’s words get into his head? Maybe so, but he couldn’t stop himself from thinking about you regularly for the rest of the day.
Yu Kanda didn’t seem like the type to be protective, not even to himself. He constantly threw himself into the heat of battle with little to no regard of his well being. He had often explained simply–when he even bothered answering–that his body could take it. That’s all he’d say.
You weren’t necessarily expecting anything to change when the two of you got together. Kanda was not the type of man to change easily. That was just one of the things you loved about him; you loved all of him, even the bad parts. That didn’t mean that they didn’t ever exhaust you, though.
You began to realize as time went on that maybe your initial assumption was incorrect. It started in battle: when the two of you fought together, Kanda hung back where you were, fighting by your side. He still disregarded his safety for the sake of taking fatal blows for you; luckily, he recovered every time.
Soon, that feeling of wanting to protect you began to grow. He’d walk closer to you on the sidewalk, becoming a barrier if any shady characters walked by–as an Exorcist, he was suspicious by nature. This evolved into him being right there when you tripped or lost your balance–a strong hand gripping your arm to steady you until you found your footing.
He never addressed this change, and you never brought it up. He wasn’t overbearing in his execution because he still wanted to be independent, but he was around enough that you felt safe, almost untouchable. In fact, in most cases, you actually were untouchable, because if somebody that you knew Kanda did not know laid hands on you, Kanda’d pry them off.
“Keep your hands to yourself. Don’t go touching somebody who didn’t give you permission.”
With a cold, steely gaze, Kanda’s eyes followed the offender all the way until they were out of sight, before sighing and going about his business, leaving you surprised. After taking a moment to recover, you rolled your eyes and followed after him, the corners of your mouth twitching upwards.
“You’re my knight in shining armor, Kanda,” you sang, a slight hint of teasing in your voice.
“Che. Only because you won’t do it yourself.” He countered, making you pout.
“You’re one to talk…” you mumbled, and he chose to ignore that comment. In a meaningful tone, you added, “Thank you, though, for always being there for me. You don’t always have to protect me, but…thank you.”
Kanda was quiet for a bit, and for a moment, you were worried that maybe you worded that wrong or something. He looked at you–really looked at you, taking all of you in, silently appraising you. His hard eyes softened just a bit, but he turned away so fast that you thought that you had imagined it.
(So this is a sequel of sorts to this fic I did a while ago! I figured this request accurately describes the thoughts running through his head after he left the reader.)
Train rides were never completely quiet. If it wasn’t the sounds of the passengers chatting, it was the sound of the carts chugging along on the tracks. There was the sound of the wind rushing by when a window was left open. There was the occasional sound of the train whistling blowing. There was the sound of your heart beating in your ears if you held your breath and tried to will all the noise away.
Yu Kanda, however, heard none of these things. No talking, no whistles, no heartbeat. He sat in his personal compartment, hunched over with his elbows braced against his knees, his hands folded so tightly in front of his face that his knuckles were white. His dark eyes had fallen shut quite some time ago. Your words were the only thing he heard, echoing loudly in his head, shaking him to his very core. To people who did not know him any better, they might think he was praying.
You were pregnant, and Kanda had no idea how. Well, he knew that you two had had sex, and that protection wasn’t used. He was so sure that he wasn’t able to have kids–but now that he thought about it, there wasn’t any real reason he should have thought this. Nobody from the Asia Department’s labs had told him otherwise. He also hadn’t asked them, either. He probably would have asked Dr. Edgar, but Alma had interrupted that talk about moms and dads. So it was never something he dwelled on.
Now, however, his mind was racing. How could he let this happen? What would the Order do once they found out? Would he even be able to care and provide for you? How was he suppose to be a father? Would you have to get rid of the baby?
What if his biology would somehow hurt the baby?
He couldn’t bare the thought of seeing your hurt expression when it was something caused by him. He had made a silent vow to himself to protect you, but there was the chance that he would only hurt you in the worst way possible.
This train ride was taking a very long time.
He sighed and leaned back against his seat, his numb hands folding over Mugen, which he pulled into his lap. He tilted his head back and stared at the ceiling of the train cart as if the answers were written there for him to discover. His luck was not so fantastic for that to be the case. He decided, for your sake and his own, that he was overthinking things at this stage. He still had some time to think things through. He exhaled slowly to calm his racing mind and once again let his eyes slip close. Kanda steeled himself for his mission, pushing all of the nagging thoughts to the back on his mind with one simple promise: whatever happens, he’s going to put what’s best for you first. He silently hoped for the best, and when the train whistle blew, signaling they had reached their designation, Kanda stood and walked out, leaving his worries behind him, locked up in the train compartment.
“Aw, Yu!” Alma Karma sang out suddenly. “You like Y/N, don’t you?”
“Shut up,” Yu Kanda hissed. “Keep your voice down, do you want the entire Order to find out?”
“You aren’t denying it!” Alma gasped, raising his hands to his mouth in shock. “I never thought I’d see the day! Devil Yu really does have feelings!” Kanda glared daggers at him.
“Oh, I have plenty of feelings,” he spat venomously. “Currently, I’m feeling rage because you won’t shut the Hell up.”
“No need to be so cranky, Yu,” Alma replied casually, totally unaffected by his friend’s cruel tone. “Have you told them yet?”
“Of course not,” Kanda said, looking suddenly very exhausted. “Why would I?” Alma shook his head, eyes wide as his jaw dropped.
“Why would… That’s a dumb question! You can be so stupid sometimes,” Alma quickly cut off whatever retort Kanda had on the tip of his tongue. “Maybe they like you back? How would you ever know if you don’t tell them your own feelings?”
“I’m not stupid,” Kanda growled. “And I don’t care about their feelings. I personally believe this is a total hindrance, and I don’t wish to pursue it.” Alma smiled pitifully at Kanda, patting his shoulder. Kanda shook his hand off.
“You’re just being shy. That’s okay! That’s what I’m here for! I wanna help you, Yu!” Alma splayed his hands out in the air, waving them in front of Kanda as if he were unraveling a scroll on a table. “Okay, here’s my thought: Show off our–er, specifically your–incredibly abilities as, you know,” Alma stopped and used one of his hands to gesture to Kanda’s chest. “Yeah, you know. The next time you two get assigned a mission together, show them that you’ve got their back. Nothing’s more romantic than knowing that someone’s got your back, always, no matter what, and that will keep you safe and protected!”
“No,” Kanda replied bluntly.
“Hrm, fine, but at least keep that one in mind,” Alma tapped his chin in thought before his eyes lit up. “A-ha! I know! You could stay classic and traditional and get them some flowers! I know you like those sorts of things.”
Kanda just sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. “Please just stop talking.” To his dismay, Alma did not, in fact, stop talking.
(Mmmmm I’m gonna answer these as a “what makes them realize they are in love with their S/O”. I’m pretty sure I’ve down confession headcanons in the past for them.)
Honestly, Allen falls in love all at once. It hits him like a splash of cold water.
He sees you one morning, and you’re talking to somebody, and he’s watching your little unconscious mannerisms and ticks and realizes, “I’m in love with them.”
At first he’s a little shocked–he didn’t exactly wake up thinking he was going to have that revelation today, but here he is. And then he smiles, because he’s okay with it.
He comes over and sits by you and when you ask him what the smile’s for he just hums and shrugs, gazing at you in awe. It’s a good look for him, though, him being lovestruck.
Kanda would take a long time to realize he’s in love with you, and it’s your patience that seals the deal.
You’ve stuck around with him this long, but that’s not it. You are patient with him even when he’s being an ass, or when he’s confused and lost.
He thinks you are a saint and the love he has for you is so strong it hurts and kind of scares him.
And then you smile at him and that’s it, he’s gone. RIP Kanda
Lavi falls in love with your spirit. Your smile, your laugh, your life. He thinks you are a goddamn blessing and like Kanda, he’s terrified.
Bookman aren’t suppose to have a heart and it’s like you stepped in and every glance, every gentle touch, every giggle and whispered uttered has filled his empty chest with warm love.
And he’s happy. So happy. He could cry. He doesn’t. But he could.
He’s conflicted. This really threw his plans out the fucking window. How is he going to be able to leave you now that he knows he loves you so much? It would kill him.
Lenalee falls in love with your strength. Not just physical strength, but your mental and emotional strength.
She’s always been worried that she wasn’t strong enough, and next to you, she realizes that that wasn’t the case; you make her realize that she was just strong in her own way, just like you were strong in your own way.
It makes her happy. You make her happy. She really wants to spend the rest of her life with you, no matter how long or short it may be.
She also falls in love with the way that you get along with Komui. She was afraid he would scare you off, but yet here you are, still with her.
Link falls in love with your gentleness. He’s so used to being surrounded by rough and tough characters–a lot of which seemed heartless–that he feared that he, too, would become like them.
And then here you come waltzing into his life, tugging out his inner kindness and gentleness.
The gentle way you seem to chip away at his rough exterior with a metaphorical chisel, breaking a part his protective wall and letting his feelings ooze out.
He realizes this when he’s making you your nth packed lunch in the early hours of the morning. His hands freeze as the realization dawns upon him, and he needs a moment to just breathe.
(I do not do NSFW, but I can tell you what I feel like their reactions might be to being asked for such a thing.)
Tyki is caught off guard, to say the least. He did not foresee this conversation happening when he woke up this morning.
Probably a little hesitant because he’s not sure why you would want him to. Is it because of his Noah outfit? He probably blames his Noah outfit.
It’s not something he’d really be into himself, so he won’t agree outright, though over time…Eh, why not? It’s not like he’s doing this for just anybody, it’s just you. If it was otherwise, he might feel a little awkward about it.
Doesn’t think it’s a big deal so he expects you to not make a big deal out of it. If you still want him to do it and not be stiff in his movements, don’t make it out to be a huge deal. Trust me, it’ll ruin the experience.
Probably a one-time deal sort of thing. You got him to do it once, why do you want him to do it again? He’s just a hypocrite like that, considering he loves getting lap dances from you(unless you tell him not to touch, in which case, he isn’t a fan).
Allen is….incredibly surprised, and incredibly bashful at the suggestion.
He’d do anything for you but that….that’s a tough thing to ask of him.
His face is very red and he’s looking everywhere but at you.
Let him think about it for a bit. He doesn’t even think he knows how to do it.
If you guys have been together long enough, he would maybe consider it. Especially if he’s older and more relaxed.
It would definitely take some convincing on your part, that’s for sure.
Nope. No. Definitely not. Kanda’s not going to do it.
This isn’t even a tsundere no, or a “I’m saying this but I’ll probably still do it if you ask or beg enough” no. It’s a very firm no.
At least you’ll be spared any harsh words. All he’ll say is “no”, haha. Not unless you keep pushing it.
He doesn’t even know why you’d ask him??? He wouldn’t know how to do it. The thought doesn’t make him bashful, it just confuses him.
Lavi’s not bashful, just surprised. He didn’t know you were into that kind of thing, and he thought he had you all figured out.
He’d take the less amount of convincing compared to the others, that’s for sure. The only amount of convincing you might have to get him to stop teasing you about it and take it seriously.
He’ll tease you about it, though. No one escapes his teasing. He’s lighthearted about it, though, and makes sure you know he’s just playing. He doesn’t mind that you asked that of him.
Only issue is…he’s never done it before? He’s not much of a dance unless it’s meant to make people laugh as he flounders about.
He wouldn’t do it immediately, though; he’s going to make sure he surprises you with it. You know, like how you surprised him with the question.
Toad's Cave 