Bakugou: I hate everyone in this dorm.
Kaminari: Even Kirishima?
Bakugou: I said every one, not every ten.
Todoroki/Midorya: *walking hand in hand*
Todoroki: Excuse us, give way to the eleven.
Bakugou: Excuse you?!
Midoriya: Todoroki-kun and I are both one so together we’re an eleven right, Kacchan?
Kirishima, from another room: They have a point!
by like third year once everyone’s cooled down and they’re all more or less friends with each other, bakugou has become the Designated Fake Bad Boyfriend. bringing an explosive boy with a reputation for being short-fused and dramatically angry and also a jerk to dinner? a GREAT way to mess with your straight-nagging parents or cover up a secret real relationship. he thinks it’s hilarious watching them try to hide their distaste for their child’s lover when he ignores basic table manners and acts overly terrible, plus he gets a free meal, so it’s a win-win.
waiter: here’s the seafood course
bakugou, taking his feet off the table, still chewing the last course with his mouth open: oh i can’t wait to tear this bitch apart
momo’s mother who has been pushing her daughter to get a boyfriend for the past 3 years: honey perhaps dating isn’t for you
he orders the most expensive food there is
waiter: would you like fries with your extra large lobster and five cups of chocolate milk?
bakugo with lobster shit all over his face because he doesn’t know what a napkin is: oh man gimme all the fuckin fries you have
endeavor, who has been annoying todoroki about quirk marriages for years: please never marry anyone
Bakugou can’t immeaditely turn the act off. He does it all the time. It’s habit. So when Kirishima invites him to dinner, he doesn’t think about it. He acts.
Bakugou, to the waiter: And then I want you to deep fry it. DEEP FRY IT. In fucking butter. I want you to toss some truffles in there too, I hear that’s good shit. Oh. Jerking a thumb in Kirishima’s direction. He’ll have the burger, but not too fucking big. Have you seen his ass? It doesn’t need help growing.
Kirishima’s parents, eyes wide, watching their precious son lean on his palm, watching the train wreck across the table with stars in his eyes: Eijirou… Are you sure about this?
Kirishima, smiling big, wiping the appetizer crumbs off the table in front of him, where Katsuki made one (1) big fucking mess: I’m sure.
The Kirishima’s sighing at the look in their son’s eyes: Lord help us…Welcome to the family, Katsuki.
Bakugou, mouth full of deep fried lobster, spits it everywhere: Wat.
Toad's Cave 