You turned your head; laughter froze as you saw Loki’s empty gaze.
Loki noticed your eyes on him. A thin, sad smile tugged on his lips. He’d always be doomed to live in his brother’s shadow. Besides, what he had to offer to you, anyway? He had to accept it. Your heart would never harbor the same feelings as his for you.
The Norse God bowed lightly his head your direction, walked away afterwards. Tears burned in his eyes on his way to his room. How could he be stop stupid!? How could he even think for one second you’d choose him over his brother, the great and mighty Thor?!
Knuckles turned white, nails dug into his palm. If this was love he didn’t want it. He didn’t want this pain. He didn’t want to endure it… Didn’t know how to endure it… He…-
“Loki!”
Surprised he spun around, watched you running towards him. Immediately you grabbed for his hands, asked worried if he was alright. Loki winced at the warmth of your skin, relished and cursed the sweet warm prickle spreading in his belly.
“Why did you leave so suddenly, Loki?”
“I am just tired,” he excused himself. “You should go back to… Thor.”
“Oh…” Your gaze dropped down to the floor. “I had hoped you’d show me around the royal garden a bit. I wanted to ask you this morning already, but I hadn’t the chance to.”
“Don’t you want to go with-”
“No…,” you breathed, putting your finger on his lips to hush him. “I much more would prefer your company.”
A small smile appeared on Loki’s face. He nodded. And so you walked through the Palace’s garden, watching the countless stars in the night sky. The backs of your hands brushed each other now and then, making both of your hearts beat faster. Tension was growing, and you were pondering already whether to take his hand or not, when Loki intertwined his hand with yours all of a sudden.
The Norse God had to hold back a chuckle. Sweaty? They were sweaty? Did this mean you were nervous?! He looked at you, saw your cute pink cheeks. For the first time tonight he shared an earnest smile.
“Thank you for being with me now, _________.”
You reached a small fountain. There you stopped. Finally you locked your eyes with his. The red color around your nose deepened.
“I’d always be with you if you asked me to, Loki. I… want to stay with you, you know…”
Loki’s blue orbs widened for a second. One hand sneaked around your waist and drew you close, another cupped your burning face.
“Then promise to stay with me, _________. Don’t leave my side. Never.”
“Never..,” you whispered, closed your eyes.
“Never..,” Loki repeated quietly, voice shaking.
Soft lips claimed yours, a shower of shooting stars lightened the sky, sealed your promise.
You’d stay by his side. He’d be with you. Forever.
By
the time Miss returned to the Tricky Treats candy shop in her new
striped shirt uniform, Loki appeared young again. Lollipop trees and
other candy displays stood in the places where the mannequins
displayed themselves the night before. A pinata in the shape of an
orange man with yellow hair sat conspicuously on the sales counter
above a display box of Skittles Fun Size bulk bags. The pinata held
a banana colored sign with a rainbow. The sign read Free Bag of
Skittles Fun Size with purchase of Presidential Pinata. Confetti
free with purchase. Taste the Rainbow.
“Well
that looks fun,” Miss said.
“They
were part of the order I made with the crème eggs. They’ll expire
soon. What we don’t sell today, the mannequins get,” Loki said.
“I
meant to ask, do the sex toys ever fail to change back into candy?
Because if I saw rainbow anal beads where I should be seeing
multi-packs of Rain-Blo I’d die laughing, but I don’t have kids,”
Miss said.
“Technically
it’s only merchandise that we cannot sell which remains in it’s
form,” Loki said, “so any merchandise purchased and taken out the
front door does not change, expired candy does not change. As a
rule, toys don’t have an expiration date, but if one was broken the
night before, it’s possible it wouldn’t change back.”
“But
possible it would?” “There’s nothing illegal about selling a
lollipop with a crack in it,” he said, “so as an example, it
would turn into a lollipop from a cracked wand, but it would remain a
lollipop at the end of the sales day because it’s illegal to sell
cracked glass.” “So you’re not worried that anything
inappropriate will show up on the shelves while the store is in candy
mode?” Miss asked.
“Nah,
the mannequins have hours to go through and correct that sort of
thing overnight,” Loki said.
The
bell rang out in a panic. Loki looked up. The open sign was still
off, the flip sign read Closed, the door remained bolted.
“Why
is it doing that,” Miss asked.
“I
think I have an idea,” he replied.
He
took the pink envelope from the previous night and laid it by the
register. He pulled up stools for himself and for Miss. She sat
shoulder to shoulder with Loki and faced the door.
“What
should I do,” she asked.
“Nothing
at all,” he said, “just let me handle her.”
The
clock struck ten. The door unbolted, the open signs welcomed in the
strange customer. Her ridiculous pink outfit remained largely
unchanged. A ridiculous hat with a cherry colored phoenix, the
actual size of a peacock, stood upon her head in false taxidermy to
replace the lace tiara. The bottoms of Loki’s eyelids twitched
upward.
“I
see that you’re unsurprised to see me,” Highness said.
“I’ve
stocked up appropriately,” Loki said.
“Yes,
your selection is quite distasteful,” Highness said.
Miss
blinked. She looked around the candy shop. There were always a few
intense or pain-inducing candies through the storefront, but she
noticed a marked uptick in the quantity and variety of strange and
concerning candies.
“Your
face isn’t up to everyone’s tastes either, and yet here I am, trying
to be inclusive,” Loki said.
“Nice,”
Miss said beneath her breath.
Loki
and Highness escalated their hostile verbal exchange while Miss
continued to note the changes to the candy stock. The lolipops
contained scorpions. The candy canes were pickle flavored. Where
the silicone dongs were displayed last night, rows of gummy pickles
remained. The chocolates section contained stacks of Willy Pete’s
variety bars. Someone refilled the gumball machine with atomic
fireballs. Tons of the shop’s inventory had been replaced with
canisters of Bean-Boozled in various sizes. The abrasive tone of
their conversation caused Miss to still herself in a strange way.
She recognized the timbre of a relationship gone wrong. She wished
to escape, but she was employed and on the clock; she could not
escape. She attempted to hide in plain sight. Miss picked up a
packet of some candy called Pulverpadder in a language she could not
understand with little exploding frogs on the cover and attempted to
escape mentally, through distraction.
“And
technically, the eggs you stole,” Loki said.
“Purchased,
I left the money with your employee,” Highness said.
“Who
was not yet employed at the time of the theft which occurred after
regular business hours when no employee was present,” Loki said.
“But
she signed the contract, or you’d have destroyed the order,”
Highness said.
She
pointed to the pink envelope by the register.
“Signed
after you stole the merchandise,” Loki said.
“But
still signed,” Highness said.
Loki
looked at Miss with distress in his eyes. He looked back at
Highness.
“We
could argue this until the end of time,” Loki said.
“We
could,” Highness agreed. “I don’t owe you the cherries,”
Loki said.
“Something
tells me you’ll be agreeable,” Highness said.
“If
you turn her to plastic, I’m well within my rights to end you,”
Loki said with a sadness in his voice.
“Plastic?
Oh, that’s not my plan for Miss,” Highness said.
“Did
you not curse her?” Loki said.
“Indeed,
she suffers a curse, one that I can lift at any time she desires to
leave your employ,” Highness said.
Miss
and Loki looked at each other.
“Just
accept the order, Loki,” Highness said, “and I will cut you this
deal. If you, with the help of Miss, fulfill the entire order, I
will end our business merger contract, in your favor, and the curse
on her will break itself.”
“That
seems very generous of you,” Loki said.
“However,
if Miss quits, or is fired from the position before the order is
completed, then you, Loki, must abide by the business merger
contract, in my favor,” Highness said.
“I’m
not quitting,” Miss said.
“That
doesn’t mean I won’t fire you,” Loki warned.
“Hah,
bullshit,” Highness said, “if he fires you, the merger contract
falls to my favor automatically. Same if you quit.”
“I
won’t quit, and I won’t help you,” Miss said.
“Miss,
if you fail to deliver my order, the curse will remain every day of
your employment,” Highness squeaked, “I really can’t lose!”
Loki
opened the envelope. Where several hundred dollars were previously
stuffed in the envelope, several thousand now burst forth. He eyed
the order suspiciously. Where the order had once been written for
two hundred boxes of chocolate covered cherries, it now showed an
order for two thousand boxes of chocolate covered cherries. Highness
turned to leave.
“Oh,
and one addendum; the order is set to add an extra zero for each day
that the order remains unprocessed. Uncompleted is fine. Invoiced
and payment accepted is fine. Unaccepted or unprocessed increases
the extent of the order exponentially, until all the cherries in the
universe could not fill it.”
With
that, Highness left the shop without saying goodbye. Loki sighed.
He took a pen and signed the order received.
“Fine,
bitch. Get out,” he called after her.
“Wait,
we really have to make 2000 boxes of chocolate covered cherries?”
Miss asked.
“Yes,”
he said, “your life might be at risk. I don’t know what curse
she’s got on you, I don’t want to risk it. So, as soon as the
cherries come in, we’re making chocolates. All. Damn. Day. Watch
the shop until I’m back.”
Loki
pocketed the money and started to walk out the front door.
“Where
are you going?” Miss asked.
“To
get a bodybag’s worth of fucking cherries!” he said.
He
took the storm of Miss’ anxiety with him as he left. She heaved a
sigh of relief. She looked around the work counter for something she
could do. She spotted the heart-shaped boxes. She read the order
again; the order called for delivery in the heart-shaped boxes,
wrapped in carnation pink paper and tied with cherry red ribbon or
lace. Miss sighed, and took the blank white boxes and supplies from
the cupboard.
“Might
as well get this out of the way while I’m here,” she said.
Her
first few box wraps were awkward. By the end of the stack, she
wrapped the box halves with a deft, swift precision. She paused.
She looked. There were clearly not two thousand blank heart-shaped
boxes, nor enough carnation pink tissue paper to complete the order.
She switched the sign to “Back in Ten Minutes” and bolted the
door. She let herself past the red velvet rope and upstairs where
the mannequins slept on the loft.
“Eck?”
one asked.
“Yeah,
sorry to bug you, do you know where I can find more heart-shaped
boxes and wrapping paper?” Miss asked.
“Eck!”
the mannequin confirmed.
The
mannequin rose, fetched the supplies from the elevator.
“No
no, that’s good, I’ll take them downstairs, you go back to sleep,”
Miss said.
“Meg
eck!”
The
mannequin leaned forward, hugged Miss’ shoulders, and seemed to kiss
her on each cheek before returning to sleep with the others in the
loft. Miss rubbed her cheek, charmed by the offered friendship. She
took the boxes and paper downstairs, flipped the sign and unbolted
the door. She returned to gift-wrapping the boxes. The bell jingled
happily as Thor entered the shop.
“Oh
man, I’m glad it’s just you,” Miss said.
Thor
smiled at her, with a twinkle in his eyes.
“Good
to see you, too, Miss!” Thor said.
“Just
here to shop, or is there something I can help you find?” Miss
asked. “Thank you for asking, just stopped in, passing by. So
what’s all this, what have you got going on here?” Thor asked.
He
waved to all the pink frillery and heart-shaped boxes.
“Oh,
uh, preparing gifts for a, um, wedding,” Miss said.
“Really!
Whose wedding?” Thor asked.
Miss
coughed.
“Loki,”
she said under her breath.
Thor’s
happy expression dropped.
“Did
you say Loki?” he asked.
“Yes.”
“Uh,
which Loki,” Thor asked.
She
paused with her eyebrows knit and her mouth agape.
“I’m
sorry, I don’t understand the question,” she said.
“Oh,
you must not have met the others yet,” he said, “That’s okay!”
“Oh,
uh, sure,” Miss said.
“By
the way, where is Loki,” he asked.
“He’s
just out on a supply run,” Miss said.
“You
seem nervous, I hope I’m not making you uncomfortable,” Thor said.
“No,
no, not at all, it’s Loki, he’s… Look, he’s kinda in trouble, I’m
just trying to think how to fix it,” Miss said.
“Trouble?”
Thor asked.
“I
probably shouldn’t talk about it,” Miss whispered.
Thor
looked over his shoulder toward the door with a cocked eyebrow and
leaned in to whisper at miss.
“It
isn’t because of the… you know,” he asked.
“Uh,”
she said.
“It
is, isn’t it? It’s the stuff he keeps putting in the candy, isn’t
it?” Thor whispered.
“I’m
not-”
“Good,
you’re not a snitch, that’s good,” Thor said.
The
bell jingled. A young, exhausted Loki stumbled in, carrying a
literal bodybag. Reddish liquid dripped from the foot of the sack.
Thor’s eyes widened. Everyone paused in one of those unprocessable
silences that began to plague this tiny shop.
“It’s
cherries on ice,” Loki said.
Thor
heaved a sigh of relief.
“Oh,
good, I thought I’d have to bring a shovel,” he said.
Loki’s
face lit up with an adorable smile.
“You’d
do that for me?” Loki asked.
“You’re
getting juice on the carpet,” Thor said.
Loki
scrambled for the work counter. Miss caught Thor redhanded; he snuck
a peek at Loki’s high and tight little ass as it swished past. Loki
pushed the sack on top of the work bench, rinsed his hands. Miss
partially unzipped the bag and pulled some cherries for the colander.
Loki pointed at the boxes that Miss had wrapped.
“Good
job, good thinking,” Loki said.
“Thanks!”
Miss said.
“So,”
Thor interrupted, “you’re getting married?”
A
shudder ran down Loki’s spine at the words, at the thought. The
whites of Loki’s eyes shone as he peeked at Thor over his shoulder,
then looked back to Miss.
“What
did you tell him?” Loki asked.
“She
said you were in trouble,” Thor said, “and that all of these
boxes were in preparation for a wedding. Loki’s wedding.”
Loki
laughed.
“Oh,
well, that could be any of us!” Loki said.
Thor
held up a single finger.
“But
she’s only met one Loki.” Thor said.
He
pointed the finger at Loki.
“And
I’m looking at him,” Thor said, “congratulations buddy! I’d buy
you a drink, but with that baby face I’m not sure you’d be old enough
to drink it!”
“Hah!
I’m well old enough to drink,” Loki said, “you should have
offered to buy me drinks sooner!”
“Too
late now, eh?” Thor said.
“Not
necessarily,” Loki said, “I still haven’t gone down that aisle,
yet.”
“You
act like you’re unwilling to walk to that altar,” Thor said.
“I
couldn’t be dragged kicking and screaming to that altar if it meant
giving up on drinks with you,” Loki admitted.
“You
flatter me! If I wasn’t here to pick up more treats for my fiance,
I’d be inclined to take you home,” Thor said.
The
moment Thor uttered the word fiance, Miss dropped a handful of
cherries, a few of which bounced into the drain of the sink. Behind
the work counter, in the sink, Miss saw the nails of Loki’s right
hand dig into the flesh of his left. Loki simply smiled.
“Did
she enjoy the ones from yesterday?” Loki said.
“Very
much so,” he said, “she seems to polish them off the moment I
turn my back.”
“Wonderful!
I’ll make something special to commemorate the engagement,” Loki
said.
Miss
saw him twirl a cherry from the bottom of the sink drain with the
intent of hiding it in the chocolates. She gripped his wrist,
finger-wrestled the cherry from his long, elegant hand, and threw it
in the trash.
“Thank
you for getting that for me,” Miss said.
Thor’s
eyes twinkled as he watched the dance between Miss and Loki. Loki
slipped an Atomic Fireball from the gumball machine and dipped it in
the chocolate fountain with a smile. As he reached to plunk it in
the heart-shaped box, Miss sucked it into her mouth, Loki fingers and
all. She bit it out of his hand, sucked the chocolate off it, and
spat the warhead into the trash with the other toxic cherry. Loki
chuckled, pointed at miss and smiled as he faced Thor. As he faced
away from Thor, the vitriol burst in silence from his face.
“Operation
food safety inspection!” Miss whispered, “just trust me!”
She
continued to whip up a perfectly normal and delicious box of a dozen
chocolate cherries. She thwarted attempts to dust the whole box with
wasabi powder, knocked his hand away as he attempted to drop a mother
of all bars in the chocolate fountain. Loki busied himself with
converting the horrid pink envelope Highness left into a message that
read “For fucks sake, just break up with me already, Signed, Thor.”
He slipped the note into the box, she slipped it out and closed the
box. She laced up the box of normalcy with rapid deft moves. Loki
hid his disappointment in a fake broad smile, chin and shoulders held
high.
“No
charge, on the house, this was a practice box, we have to make like a
bazillion more of these damn things, you just get the very first
one,” Miss said.
“That’s
coming out of your paycheck,” hissed Loki between smiling teeth.
“Ask
me if I care,” Miss returned in similar hissing fashion.
Thor
chuckled.
“I
think I see what’s going on,” Thor said.
He
took the box graciously.
“Congratulations,
you two,” he said, “I’ll leave you two lovebirds alone, then.”
He
turned to leave. Loki and Miss looked at each other. Miss looked at
Thor’s back and called to stop him.
“No,”
Miss said, “it’s not me.”
Thor
tried not to look back at her. “Thor, it’s not me, I’m not the
one getting married,” Miss said.
He
nodded without looking back.
“My
mistake,” Thor said, “Congratulations still stand for him,
though.”
Thor
walked out. Loki and Miss held their breath as they watched his
broad backside walk away.
“See?
She likes what you’re sending,” Miss said the moment the bell
jingled.
“She
seems to polish them off the moment I turn my back,” mocked Loki,
“then how is the bitch not 400 pounds of whale blubber right now?
No, I’m willing to bet she’s throwing them out.”
“Maybe.
Or maybe she’s a big big girl. You don’t know, you haven’t seen
her. But wait, actually, if you haven’t seen her, then, what if he
doesn’t have a girlfriend?”
Loki
glared at her.
“That’s
preposterous. Do you see him? Of course he has a girlfriend,”
Loki scoffed.
“No,
I’m supposed to believe he has a girlfriend, that turned into a
fiance, today?” Miss said.
“Yes,
you’re supposed to believe that, why would you not believe that?”
Loki said.
“Because
it makes sense! The moment he thought you were getting married his
fake girlfriend turned into a fake fiance,” Miss said.
“You
have no evidence to support this claim,” Loki said.
“You
have no real evidence of a girlfriend to refute this claim! He was
checking out your ass when you walked by him with the cherries,”
Miss said.
“I-
Wait, he was?” Loki said.
“Totally,
I wish I had it on camera, he’s totally into your ass,” Miss said.
Loki
blushed. He bolted from behind the work bench, changed the “Open”
sign to “Closed,” and bolted the door. He took Miss by the wrist
and began to run upstairs.
“C’mon!”
he said excitedly.
In
the elevator, he flipped a panel below the labeled buttons. A
landline phone handset hooked within the recessed panel, along with a
few other labelled buttons. He pressed the one labeled “Security.”
The elevator dinged without moving, and the back doors opened to a
closet with a small CCTV setup, an AED, first aid kit, and fire
extinguisher. A totally illegal rocket launcher leaned in the
corner, along with a megaphone, a jumper box, and an assortment of
random bits of equipment that could prove useful in either a hostile
takeover of a small government or the prevention of theft and loss of
life and property. Loki slid into a chair at the CCTV display and
punched some commands into a keyboard. He scrolled back to the
moment that Thor entered. He watched the interaction at quadruple
speed until the moment he ran past with the cherries. He paused the
video, backed up, replayed the run in slow motion. He watched Thor
lock eyes on his own ass. Loki’s jaw dropped. His hand went to his
heart with his fingers curled in intrigue.
“Well,
what do you think now?” asked Miss.
“I
think I need to go do more product testing,” Loki gasped.
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Loki lay beside you in bed, asleep, blissfully unaware of the thoughts eating you alive, keeping you awake. You both had been in a relationship for a while and we’re slowly approaching your first anniversary. He’d fallen asleep shortly after making love to you, causing you to come to your current realization. City lights from the surroundings of Stark Tower shown through the window, softly illuminating Loki’s face with flashes of yellows and blues. You stared at him in silent admiration, watching his chest rise and fall. “I love this man,” you thought to yourself. I love him, you thought, and I’ve never even truly seen him.
He shifted a bit, and out of desperation you woke him up. “Let me see you, please!” you barked while shaking him. Loki woke with a start. “What? What’s the matter?” he responded groggily.
“I just want to see you.”
He looked at you as if you’d gone mad. “I’ve been here the whole night?”
“No, I know, I mean you. YOU. The real you. It’s been all this time and I just, I love you and I accept you for all that you are and it’s just really bothering me that I haven’t seen you yet.” You rambled on and on, almost choking on your own words from trying to blurt them out so fast. “I just want to see you. Please don’t be upset and I guess I’ll understand if you’re uncomfortable. But I… I really want to see you.”
“Darling, I still have no idea what you’re talking about.”
You sat up and turned to look at him. “Can I see you, in your, um…”
Loki’s eyes brightened as he understood. “….my jotun form?”
“Yes.” You flushed with embarrassment.
Green light flashed as he changed in front of you. His smooth skin changed color, turning a beautiful arctic blue; markings appearing all over his skin, and his eyes phased over to a deep ruby red. You noticed he didn’t really keep eye contact in this form, and that broke your heart.
“I’m sorry. If this is too difficult you don’t have to I just, I felt like I had to see this side to truly know all of you.”
He nodded, but didn’t change back.
“What do these markings mean? Do you know?”
“I don’t.” He snapped. “I don’t even understand why you wish to see this disgusting mess.”
You insisted he change back if it was too difficult and apologized for ruining the evening for him.
He sat there in silence, still not changing back. It was as if he was afraid to change back, thinking you would forever see this form, regardless of any effort to remain the asgardian prince you met him as. He was afraid you’d look at him differently.
You knew him well enough to pick up on it, so you lunged for him, grabbing his face and kissing him passionately.
Once it was done, you were both breathless, and he looked at you dumbfounded.
“Loki, there is nothing that could ever change the way I feel about you. I want you to know that I accept you and I think this part of you is just as beautiful as the face I fell in love with.”
Tears welled up in his eyes; he laid back down and held you close, saying nothing. He eventually fell back asleep.
To your surprise, Loki didn’t change back until the morning.
“Don’t
I have to sign anything before I’m technically employed?” Miss
asked.
Loki
scratched his pointed chin.
“Ah,
yes, you’re right,” he said.
“And
if we’re working around food, I expect a big-ass stack of all the
food safety laws and health codes you just broke,” she said.
“Fine,”
sighed Loki, “it’s this way to the office.”
He
unhooked the red rope and gestured her upstairs. The sign had
changed from “Employees only” to “Club Members, 21 and Over
Only.”
At
the top of the stairs, a path led to the loft, and one path down a
hall. A set of steel elevator doors greeted her at the end of the
hall. “Why didn’t we just take the elevator upstairs? Wait, I
didn’t see an elevator downstairs,” she said.
Loki
pushed the candyapple red button and the steel doors slid open with a
happy ding. They stepped inside. A row of buttons inside the
elevator each had a corresponding label that read “Roof.
Clubhouse. Office. Shop. Janitor. Storage. Garage. Cellar.
Basement.” Loki pressed the button for the Office. The doors in
the back of the elevator opened to a small room with a desk and
filing cabinet. He took a heavy stack of paperwork out of the filing
cabinet.
“Here,
take this back downstairs and fill it out. I’ll be back down in a
few hours,” he said.
“A
few hours?” she questioned.
“The
shop is closed from 5-9 daily,” he said, “you won’t be bothered.
Oh, and don’t bother me; I need to do product testing and change
clothes before we re-open.”
“So,
I’m stuck here reading and signing things until 9?” she said.
“You’ll
get paid for it. Restroom is under the stairs. Pens are by the
register,” he said.
“Got
it,” she said.
She
returned to the candy counter, now covered in sex toys and adult
novelties. The gumball machine was filled with benwa balls. The
Kinder Eggs were egg-shaped vibrators, the Cadbury Creme eggs were
Tenga eggs, except for one carton that remained as Cadbury Creme
eggs. She shrugged at the inconsistency and took a pen from the
register. She took a seat on a candyapple red cushioned stainless
steel stool and started to read through the employment agreement.
Her eyes kept wandering to the products around her. Her distracted
eyes explored the changes in the shop between pages. She chuckled at
the fact that bags of gummy bears turned into bags of gummy dicks.
The sign read “Tell them to eat a bag of dicks! $2.99 plus tax.”
The Fruit Stripe Gum to edible underwear impressed her. She took a
peek inside the drink cooler, and spotted Josta in a glass bottle.
She immediately swung the candy-apple-red ceramic edged glass front
fridge door open and grabbed the bottle. She twisted the top of the
bottle fruitlessly; the old Josta came in plastic bottles with
twist-caps. This beverage required more force to free it from it’s
glass prison. She looked around for a bottle opener in a panic.
“Eck?
Eck?” a squeaking sound asked her.
She
turned to see a mannequin hand pointed toward the side of the
candyapple red drink cooler. The squeaking sound came from the
mannequin’s head as she nodded.
“Eck
eeeegk eck,” the mannequin said.
Miss
looked to where she pointed. On the side of the refrigerator hung a
dong shaped bottle opener. She snatched it by the shaft with a
deathgrip and popped the top of the bottle. The tink sound of the
bottlecap against the floor cut through the hiss of carbonation. She
brought the bottle to her nose- the miniscule spritzes of popped
bubbles tickled her nose as she sniffed the bottle. She took a
small, investigative sip, then chugged half the bottle. Her lips
left the bottle reluctantly and she sighed.
“Where
in the fuck did he get this?” Miss asked the mannequin.
The
mannequin shrugged. Miss took her drink back to the counter and
continued to read through the terms and conditions, signing her name
or writing her initials in the blanks provided on page after page of
arbitraments. The twilight from the loft windows dimmed. Miss’ face
crept closer and closer to the documentation as the light dissipated.
She blinked, looked around. The shop had grown dark while she
concentrated on the printed pages. The streetlamps outside flicked
to light in their orange glow. Even in muted colors of low light,
the pinks and purples and brightest blues of the products still
showed. Miss lit up her cellphone and looked around for a
lightswitch.
“There’s
gotta be a light in here somewhere,” she said.
Miss
lit up her cellphone and looked around for a lightswitch.
“Hey
guys,” she asked the mannequins, “do you know how to turn on the
lights? Or maybe just a lamp?”
At
the mention of the word lamp, the mannequins looked away from her and
froze in place.
“Oh,
come on guys, just a little light,” Miss said.
“Eck-eck-eck-ek-kekekek!”
The
mannequin Miss looked at shook her head rapidly. Miss caught one
staring at a standing lamp. Once caught, the mannequin straightened
and stilled as though there were nothing to look at in her area.
Miss went to the lamp and found the double-cherry ornament on the end
of the chain to turn it on. The mannequins all squeaked, shook their
heads, put their hands up in a stop motion.
“Well
if you don’t want me to touch this one, tell me where the light
switch is!” Miss said.
“Eck!
Egg eck, ekekekek!” they said.
They
pressed their palms together and shook their heads, pleading with
Miss for her mercy, and to not touch the lamp. Miss sighed.
“I
have to finish that paperwork,” she said.
She
pulled on the cherries. The chain clicked, and a burst of red light
poured from the cherry shade, faded to pink, then to white as the
bulb heated. An acrid smell and puff of smoke lifted from the lamp.
Miss held her hands up to the lampshade.
“No
no, no, no fire,” Miss said, “I’ll do whatever you want, just,
don’t burn anything down, k?”
Almost
as if in response, the light warmed to a yellow tint. The smoke
smell faded.
“Whew!
Don’t scare me like that,” she said.
She
returned to her paperwork.
“Ah,
that’s better. See guys, it wasn’t that bad! Guys?” Miss said.
The
mannequins did not respond. At that moment they seemed more like
genuine inanimate mannequins that at any other time she had known
them.
“Okay,
silent treatment, maybe I deserved that, I didn’t know the lamp would
smoke so much, I’m sorry,” she said.
She
returned her focus to the papers. On one of the last pages, the fine
print mentioned the lamp, and to never ever light it.
“Uh-oh,”
she said.
She
sucked her lips into her mouth and turned the page with raised
eyebrows without signing the page. She absentmindedly popped the
cherry flavored plug back in her mouth and worked through the rest.
Behind her, the bell tinked twice and went silent. She turned to
look. The bell hung upside down, it’s clacker suspended in air.
Miss stared at the clacker in it’s strange position and a shudder ran
down her spine. She realized that if someone opened the door, it
would fall and ring, she just hadn’t expected it to look so stuck.
She turned her back to the door and signed the next page. The closed
sign silently turned to open. The door opened, and a lady entered
the shop. The bell struggled against the antigravity enchantment.
The lady approached the counter. The bell broke free and jingled
with unrestrained fury. Miss startled, jumped, turned, pulled her
pepper spray.
“Oh
dear, don’t set that off, you’ll ruin the product,” the lady
crooned.
She
wore huge red sphere earrings, a matching red gem at her neck on a
collar of white lace, and a frilly carnation colored apron over a
lascivious hot pink dress. She wore her blonde hair coiled in an
updo and pinned with a pronounced headband made to look like a lace
tiara. She painted her hot pink lips with a roll-on gloss. Her
eyelids came pre-painted in a shade that felt too, too blue. Miss
held the canister with purpose and a glare that said she would not
hesitate to melt this lady’s false lashes right into her eyeballs with
the spray, product replacement be damned.
“Lady,
we’re closed!” Miss said.
“We?
Oh ho ho, you must be a new hire, because That’s not what the sign
says,” she said, “and besides that, the light is on!”
The
lady waved to indicate the forbidden floor lamp.
“I
suppose you’re gonna wanna speak to my manager? Tough shit, I don’t
have one, and I don’t work here” she said.
“Really?
Then you won’t be able to take my order for three hundred boxes of
chocolate covered cherries?”
“No,
I won’t,” Miss said, “but I’ll take your name and leave a note if
it’ll get you to leave me the hell alone.” “You’re a spunky
one. Call me Highness,” she said.
“I’m
assuming Highness isn’t your real name,” Miss concluded.
“You
would assume correctly! Nobody uses their real name in here,”
Highness said, “And you are, miss?”
“Miss
will do just fine,” said Miss.
“Yes,
Miss, you will do just fine,” Highness said.
Highness
approached the counter. Miss hopped off the stool and backed away,
canister still aimed at the ridiculous blue eyeshadow. Highness took
two of the Cadbury Creme eggs which had not changed form with the
others. She twirled her fingers, manipulating the two chocolate eggs
around each other in the palm of her hand. She kissed them both
suggestively and offered one to Miss.
“Here,”
she said, “to commemorate your new position within the company. My
gift, to you!”
“Don’t
need it,” she said, “just need you to leave.”
“Just
accept my hospitality, and I’ll go,” Highness said, “and I won’t
mention anything about the little incident with the lamp.”
“Fine.
Leave it on the counter and step back,” Miss said.
Highness
did so. Miss took the egg with suspicion. Highness lifted the other
egg and tinked her egg together with the one Miss held as if to
toast. Highness unwrapped her egg and sucked it until the yolk
showed. Miss followed suit, held eye contact with the strange woman
as she sucked the whole egg into her mouth and crushed it with her
tongue. Miss reveled in the sensation and flavors as the crème
oozed through the cracks in the chocolate shell and melted against
her tongue. Miss swirled the melting mixture with her tongue and
swallowed. Highness chuckled, and finished the rest of her egg in
one bite. She withdrew a pink envelope from her frilly carnation
purse. Cherry colored wax sealed the envelope with a double cherry
mark imprint, and cherry colored lace decorated the exterior. She
flicked the envelope toward Miss, who made no effort to catch or
dodge the projectile. The envelope bonked against her and fell to
the ground.
“Do
give that to Loki when you see them, it should more than cover the
cost of the sweets on the list that I’ve ordered,” Highness said.
“Them?
Are… we unsure of Loki’s gender?” Miss asked.
“Oh
we’re certain of their genders,” Highness said, “it is their
quantity that brings us the confusion. I must run now. Ta-ta!”
She
swept herself out the door. The magic bell jingled furiously, as if
it screamed at her to leave. The door pushed itself shut after her.
The door slammed itself so hard that the swinging sign switched
itself from “come in!” to “back in one hour.” The mannequins
relaxed, but stared at Miss in concern. She sighed, set the safety
on the pepper spray and pocketed it as she bent to retrieve the
envelope. Miss flicked the pink envelope in her hand. Her instincts
told her that the door didn’t lock itself and change the sign for no
damn reason.
“That
egg was good, though,” she muttered.
She
left the pink envelope by the register, picked up her completed
paperwork and went upstairs to the elevator door to nowhere. She
pushed the red button, and stepped inside. She pressed the button
beside the label that read “Office.” The elevator dinged without
moving, and the back elevator doors slid open. Behind her, she heard
a mechanical pulse and rhythmic squeak. She turned to see Loki,
shirtless, flushed, panting, knees on the ground and elbows on the
wood of the desk, his ass and legs dressed in wine colored lace and
garters. He flinched rhythmically with the sound of whatever
machination sucked him and hid his cock from view. He looked back at
Miss over his shoulder without much reaction. He turned his face
down toward the machine, twisted his hips to hide the action from
her, sank himself deep into the machine, and held it with both hands
to steady himself so he could switch it off. He stayed frozen in
this compromised position, caught his breath. Miss said nothing, and
stood in unprocessable silence for a long moment.
“Did…
Do you… Did you… Did you?” Loki asked.
“D-did
I what?” Miss asked.
“Want
or intend to witness this?” he asked.
“I’m
okay,” she said, “I didn’t mean to, I mean, your privacy, I’m
sorry.” “You have no need to apologize, this office isn’t
exactly private,” he said, “but I need to know if it was your
wish to stay and watch when you’ve lingered this long.”
“Oh,
well, I don’t mind, I mean, as long as that’s what you’re into… but
I don’t wanna be here if you don’t want me to be,” she said.
He
lifted his head to look at her.
“I
feel the same,” he said, “was there a reason you came here,
something urgent?”
“Well,
kinda, but it can wait until you’re finished,” she said.
She
took a half step back into the elevator.
“Wait,”
he said.
She
paused.
“I
want you to be here, if you wish it. Don’t go,” he said.
“Okay,”
she said.
His
eyes flitted up and down as he studied her. He locked eyes on her
face. His nose dipped down, his eyes took a short tour of her body.
He looked in her eyes one last time before he turned his attention
back to the machine. He huffed as he turned it on. His lithe
muscles tensed. The elevator beeped at Miss in annoyance. Miss took
a step forward into the office and sat on the floor, covered her
mouth with the stack of paperwork as she watched him flinch. He took
quick peeks at her to see if she continued to watch him. He swooned
every time his eyes caught her intense stare. His skin glistened as
he broke a sweat. At random, the machine switched it’s rhythm to a
stronger triple beat.
“Whew!
Ah, a-hah! Hah, I did not expect- Ah!” Loki stammered.
“It
did that on it’s own?” Miss asked.
“Yes,
it… Oh, Miss? Miss, I’m going to come,” he warned.
He
turned his face from her with widened eyes. She held her papers
tighter. She scooted to better see his face, even as she kept her
distance. His jaw dropped, and his lips made a pleasing circle. He
spasmed and jerked with barely a sound, but the slight hiss and soft
noises from his throat electrified her. He turned the machine off
with a shaking thumb. The machine powered down and released him. He
lowered himself to the ground and tucked his cock back inside the
lace as best he could.
“That
was hot,” Miss whispered.
“I’m
glad you think so,” Loki said, “so what brought you up here?”
“Well,
uhm,” Miss stammered.
“Come
now, your name is Communication, you can do this,” Loki encouraged.
“A
lady was just in here asking for chocolate cherries and I have no
idea how she got in,” Miss blurted.
Loki
swallowed. He grabbed his black slacks and slipped them on. Socks,
shoes, tight black dress shirt, black belt, all on and straightened.
He ran downstairs.
“Did
the lamp turn itself on?” Loki asked.
The
mannequins shook their heads, some clung to each other.
“Alright,
spill it, who did it?” he asked them.
They
flinched, but would not snitch.
“What
happens when that light is on?” Miss asked.
“Damn
thing is part of a contract with… what’s this?” he asked.
He
picked up the envelope.
“She
left that, said there was enough money in it to cover her purchase,”
Miss said.
Loki
opened the envelope and read the candy order. It was a tall order
for two hundred chocolate covered cherries and an invitation to a
wedding. Several hundred dollars in large bills accompanied the
card. “Whose wedding?” Miss asked.
“Mine,
she thinks,” Loki scoffed.
Loki
tried to rip up the card. The ripped edges caught fire and fused
together. His hackles raised, his hair grew into a mess that stuck
out on end in weird places. He tore and ripped and tore it again and
again. The firelight flicked across his menacing visage to the music
of the fire alarm’s deafening shriek.
“Shut
the hell up!” he called to the fire alarm.
The
last shrill shriek of the fire alarm fell flat as it silenced. He
slammed the letter, envelope, money and all, on the epoxy counter and
dumped a tub of salt on top of it. He pressed his palm into the salt
and rubbed. The abrasive salt scraped bits of paper fuzz from the
envelope. Sparks flicked from between the salt around his seemingly
fireproof palm. Over time, he ground the entire letter away. He
turned to the mannequins in anger.
“Now
to figure which of you traitors turned on the lamp,” Loki said,
“I’d rather not have to melt the whole lot of you so fess up, go
turn the lamp off, and I’ll let you walk away.”
The
mannequins stood defiantly or clung together behind the defiant ones,
depending upon their personalities. Miss huffed and walked to the
lamp. She held her hand out and clasped the cherry ornament on the
end of the chain.
“It
was me,” she said, “I turned on the stupid lamp.”
Loki
turned to her. He held his hands out to his sides, faced the ceiling
with a growl, rolled his eyes, and dropped his hands to the sides of
his legs with a slap.
“Didn’t
you read in the contract not to turn on the lamp? Like ever?” Loki
said.
“Let
me ask, can you read the contract like this?” Miss said.
She
clicked off the lamp. The pair stood in the darkness of night. Loki
paused.
“Oh,
right. This is why I don’t hire in winter. I knew there was a
reason. Anyway as long as she didn’t purchase and leave with any
merchandise, we should be fine.”
The
lamp switched itself on and the letter reformed itself in flame above
the salt.
“Son
of a fuck,” Loki muttered under his breath, “what did she buy?”
“She
ordered the boxes of cherries and took two Cadburry Creme Eggs,”
Miss said.
“Hah,
we don’t have any of those, they turn into… what are those doing
out?” Loki asked.
He
picked up the carton of Cadburry Creme Eggs and studied them. His
face opened in shock.
“Oh
no, Oh no!” he said.
“What?”
Miss asked.
“No,
they’re expired! We can’t sell these! No, no no, just, ugh,”
whined Loki.
He
sighed and his shoulders slumped.
“They’re
ruined,” he said.
He
tossed one to a mannequin. The mannequin held the egg up, shrugged
it’s shoulders, tilted it’s head.
“Eh,
eck?” it asked.
He
tossed eggs to each of the mannequins, spoke as he distributed them.
“Yes,
egg. You all deserve a treat for not snitching on Miss Communication
over here. That was very brave of you all, and I’m sorry I yelled at
you.” Loki said.
“Eck?
Eck! Mmmmm… Eck. Mek! MMM-Egg! Egg! Egg egg! Meg egg. Eck
Meg. Mmmmmeg!”
“Why
would you think they’d turn it on?” Miss asked.
“The
woman you met, Highness… she’s the queen of fake women. She’s made
of plastic, same as them,” Loki said.
“Yeah,
but… our mannequins are awesome, and she’s, like, totally not,”
Miss said.
“That’s
because she’s-”
“Fake,”
Miss completed his sentence.
“Yes,”
Loki said.
“And
these guys? They’re genuine. I like them,” Miss said.
“That’s
good, because you’ll probably turn into one soon,” he said.
“I
what!” Miss shrieked.
“That
egg you ate, she had to have enchanted it,” Loki said, “that’s
how I came across these. They’re practically immortal, some of them
from very different ages, but they were all beautiful ladies once.
And she cursed them fake.”
“How
long do I have before that happens?” Miss asked.
“You’d
have to ask them,” Loki said.
“Mmmmegg.”
That
was all one said with a shrug.
“Wait,”
Loki said, “Where’s your application? Is it completed?”
“Yeah,
I brought it upstairs, it’s in the, uh, office,” she said.
She
ran to keep up with his long-legged wide gait. He took the stairs
two or three at a time, and plunked himself down at the desk. He
sped through the application. He sought any breach he could find to
break the purchase of the Cadbury Eggs, rendering the purchase as a
theft. Anything that would prove she was not yet an employee when
the purchase was made, or showed that she broke the contract prior to
accepting the order. He found the unsigned paper, the one with the
fine print about never ever under any circumstances turning on the
lamp, with the consequence of immediate termination of employment.
“Ah-hah!
Here it is, it… wait… You never signed this,” he said.
“Does
that mean I’m not an employee yet?” Miss asked.
He
rifled through the rest of the paperwork. He let out a heavy sigh.
“No,
you’re definitely employed, if you’d still like to be employed. It’s
all here except this page,” Loki said.
He
gently thunked his forehead against the desk. He slid the page to
her without looking.
“You
still have to sign this page before you can start work, but if you
don’t, then the curse can’t effect you,” he said.
“Can
I still work here if I don’t sign the page?” Miss asked.
“No.”
“I
had to ask,” she said.
“I
know,” he said, “I was really hoping you’d stay, too, you danced
so well… Wait what are you doing?”
“Signing
it,” she said.
“You
can’t do that, the curse can’t effect you unless you sign it,” he
said.
“And
I can’t work here if I don’t, so I’m signing it,” she said, “this
place is awesome, I don’t care what the damn curse is, this place is
worth whatever price that’s gonna cost.”
The
ink shimmered as she finished signing her name. The page shimmered
and shimmied out of her hand. The rest of the stack of signed papers
swirled into the air, reorganized itself into a completed
application, glowed for a moment, and filed itself. The filing
cabinet slammed itself shut. Loki sat in stunned silence.
“You
didn’t have to do that,” he said.
“Look,”
she said, “if that bitch can manage to turn me into a fake, she’s
gonna have a hard time doing it.”
“That’s
true,” Loki said.
“Besides,”
she said, “Operation Food Safety Inspection is going to be
awesome.”
“It’s
my plan to get that bitch to break up with Thor and hook up with us
before that other bitch gets a chance to marry you. C’mon, I’ll show
you how it works,” Miss said.
She
held her hand out to Loki. He took it and kissed her knuckles once
more. “You have no idea what you just signed up for,” he
said. “Neither do you,” she retorted, “Now do me a favor and tell me how in the hell you found Josta cola!”
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She
stepped over the cracks in the drab concrete, application and resume
in hand. She printed it on plain white nondescript paper. In the
overcast sun, the faded gray streetlamps granted no light to the
cramped shaded alley. Disrepair and neglect crept to the storefront
of the Tricky Treats candy store.
She
thought, the Tricky Treats Candy Store? When did that get there?
Her
shoulders slumped. She’d addressed her cover letter and filled out
an application for the Torture Candy Sex Shop. She’d passed the shop
on several nights, spotted a Now Hiring sign, googled it, and found
her way here. A similar ‘now hiring’ sign hung between the brightly
colored candy striped pillars of the flamboyant storefront. In the
window, a rainbow assortment of delights awaited purchase; colored
spiral pops in purple and pink, orange caps atop magenta bottles,
green candy canes, flowers of white icing atop violet petals dotted
with tiny red berries their center, plus an oceanwave-like poof of
cotton candies dyed blue and spun before a curtain of red Twizzlers
all stood in stark contrast against the outside world full of ashen,
cracked streets and the chipped, faded paints of the alley walls.
A
bit of her reflection in the glass showed a childlike happiness, a
glitter in her eyes at the vision of sweets. Upon seeing this
reflection, she straightened her shoulders and pursed her lips as if
to say Happy doesn’t look right on me… Ugh, they’ll probably
force me to smile at this job. She sighed to herself and entered
the store to apply. The job would not involve sales for the toys she
loved, but she figured that at least if they hired her, she would not
starve.
So
she stepped across the threshold of flamboyancy and into the Tricky
Treats Candy Shop, Home of the Trickster’s Delight™.
Inside,
pinatas of all sorts imaginable hung from the railing of the stairs
to the loft, and along the loft railing as well. A gilded sign and a
red velvet rope across the stairs signified that the upstairs area
was reserved for employees, only. A large urn filled with decorated
sticks advertized the various prices for the pinatas on display; the
sticks were sold separately, and each stick did match a pinata above.
Clear jars of candies assorted by color lined a rainbow wall. A
sickeningly pink frilly apron hung upon a coat rack near the door.
Sunlight streamed in through the window and highlighted the stacks of
Heart Shaped Boxes in various states of decorative gaudiness. One
heart shaped box laid open upon the workspace counter.
The
workspace consisted of a reflective epoxy countertop which held an
old-timey cash register and a large gumball machine, its globe filled
with jawbreakers. Behind this counter sat a workbench, above which
sat shelves of mysterious gift-wrapped product. An ornate
four-tiered cascading chocolate fountain was anchored into the edge
of the workbench. Price tags cut in little squares in pastel colors,
some underlined red to denote a sale, marked the shelf under each
well-organized line of colorful products. The products were eclectic
in their design; A line of ceramic jars whose lids were replaced with
white cloth were tied tight with red hemp. Tubs and boxes were
wrapped in colorful papers and tied tight with hemp or ribbon.
Stacks of round, peach colored tins with gold etched in bevels joined
gold boxes with red lacquered strawberries on the shelves. White
paper packages with lavender and sky blue labels sat on the shelves
above a set of cabinet doors with brass handles. The thin, babyfaced
man behind the counter left this cabinet door ajar, which gave her a
glimpse at the rolls of tissue paper and ribbon and wrapping supplies
within. The man snipped a bit of gaudy ribbon, neon orange with a
magenta stripe down it’s center. He slipped the ribbon between his
elegant pale thumb and the edge of his sharp silver scissors, and
pulled. The ribbon hissed as it slipped between the pad of this
thumb and the bladed edge, and curled beautifully at the end of the
scrape. He wound this ribbon onto an equally gaudy heart shaped box
before the tiny bell above the door jingled and caused him to look up
at her. She wondered why the bell failed to jingle when she first
arrived. Little did she know, he wondered the same thing.
“My
apologies,” he said, “I didn’t hear you come in, may I help you
find something?”
“I’m…
looking for a job if you know where I can find one of those,” she
said.
“A
jo- Oh, right, the hiring sign,” he said.
He
sighed as if he wished someone else he knew would have applied for
the job sooner.
“Well,”
he said, “let me see your application. You did bring one, yes?”
“Yes,
but um, it was for, hey wait!” she said.
He
plucked the papers out of her hand and read over them. And as he
read, his smirk grew.
“Okay
dude, look, I was looking for this other place, google said it was
right here, and here it isn’t, but I still need a job, so-”
“I
can’t accept this application,” he said.
“Is
it because it’s for the other place?” she asked.
“What
other place?” he asked.
“You
know, the sex shop?” she said.
“Oh,
no the sex shop is not a problem. Why would the sex shop be a
problem?” he asked.
“I
mean, it’s not a problem, that’s the job I wanted,” she said.
“Hmm.
Anyway, I’m afraid I can’t accept an application without a name on
it,” he said.
“Excuse
me?” She said.
He
turned the application around to reveal the fields for a first and
last name were both blank. The sight took her aback. She knew she
wrote her name on the application, it was the first thing she did
after printing it out.
“Oh,
well, I have a pen, may I have the application back and I’ll scribble
that information in,” she suggested.
“You
know it’s quite unprofessional, to give an application, resume, and
cover letter, all without a name,” he chuckled.
“Quit
messin’ with me,” she said.
He
turned around her resume and cover letter. Where she had once
printed her name in the header in large font capital letters, nothing
had printed. At the end of her cover letter, the last word was
“Regards,” without a name written afterwards. She wondered if
she was dreaming, or if she’d had a seizure or stroke at an early
age.
“You
know, if you don’t want them knowing your real name at the sex shop,
you can use a fake name,” he suggested.
“Uh,
I don’t mind if they know my real name,” she said, “they kinda
need that for tax purposes, right?”
“Not
really. Do you perhaps have a stripper name?”
“A
what?”
“A
stripper name. A street name? A … sex toy worker name? Hell,
even a tumblr username?” he asked.
“Why?”
“Because
we have to put something on this application before you can turn it
into the sex shop, and your real name just won’t do,” he said, “So,
what would you like to be called…. Miss?”
“Communication
is usually my strong suit, I apologize, let me just think-”
“Miss
Communication, it is, then,” Loki said.
He
scribbled Miss Communication on her application.
“Uh…”
she stammered.
“Mind
if I call you Miss Cum, for short?” He asked.
She
burst out laughing.
“Sure,
that’s fine, just put down whatever you think will land me the job,”
she said.
She
reached her hand out to him, with the intent of shaking hands.
“So
Hi, I’m Miss Communication! Apparently, I answer to Miss, or Come.
What’s your name?” she asked.
He
took her hand and kissed her knuckles gently.
“Loki,”
he said.
The
magic bell tinkled frantically. Loki looked past Miss’ shoulder and
squeezed her fingertips in excitement.
“And
here comes our most important customer!” he whispered.
He
dropped her hand, stood up straight, and brushed his hair back over
his ears. Miss turned, but saw no one in the shop.
“Quick,
hide yourself,” Loki said.
“Eh,
what?” she said.
Loki
pulled her behind the counter and pressed for her to stay down. A
shadow passed over the door, and in walked a tall, broad shouldered
man with long blonde hair and ice blue eyes. He greeted Loki with a
thunderous voice.
“Hello
again!” the man said!
“Ah,
Thor! Welcome back! How are you today?”
“I’m
well! Thank you for asking,” Thor said.
Miss
peeked over the counter. She lost the will to hide upon seeing the
tan muscular man’s broad smile.
“Holy
shit,” she said as she popped up from behind the counter.
“Oh,
hello!” Thor said.
Loki
cleared his throat.
“Thor,
this is Miss, Miss, Thor. Miss, could you go run the IC inventory in
the stockroom for me?” Loki said.
“Hi,”
Miss said to Thor.
Under
the counter, Loki pushed her away from them.
“Get
lost, I have work to do,” Loki muttered.
“Uh
huh,” Miss said.
Thor
smiled, looked at his feet and scoffed to himself. He looked back to
the pair, locked eyes with Miss, and spoke eagerly.
“So
I came by to pick up something special for my girlfriend,” he said.
Miss’
jaw tightened in pained disappointment as Thor emphasized the word
girlfriend, however, she retained her goofy grin. Thor turned his
attention onto Loki.
“And
I just knew you’d have something amazing for me to give her,” Thor
said.
“Well,
I was just working on something amazing, but it’s not quite done
yet!” Loki said.
Loki
waved his elegant hand over the gaudy heart-shaped box with the crazy
magenta striped neon orange ribbon.
“Perfect!
I have some time, is it a bother if I stay? I love to watch you
work,” Thor crooned.
“I
vote stay,” Miss said.
Loki,
blushing from the compliment, elbowed her. He gave her a look that
both silenced and comforted her. His look was one part “you’re in
no trouble, but play along,” and one part “let me handle this,
I’ve got a plan.”
“Of
course it’s no bother!” Loki said to Thor.
To
Miss, he whispered, “keep quiet or you’re fired before you even
fill out the w-4.”
Loki
cleared his throat and returned to work.
“Trainees,”
he scoffed, “am I right?”
Loki
curled another ribbon for the gaudy heart-shaped box. He selected a
cardboard insert for the box and lined it with an azure tissue paper.
He side-eyed Miss as he took a gold tin with enamel cherries inlaid
from the freezer. Miss looked at Thor. Thor beamed, concentrated on
everything Loki did. Miss turned her attention to Loki. He removed
a small red fruit, a cherry. The neglected cherry pitter rested on a
hook on a pegboard near the fountain. He dipped the cherry, pit and
all, into the fountain by the stem, and sat it upon a tiny circle of
pinkish paper. After repeating this process six more times, he
reached for a shaker full of sprinkles. Miss watched as his hand
glided past the sprinkles and to what appeared to be a shaker of
crushed red pepper. He shook out an even coating of the pepper, then
reached for a pippete bag, filled with a hot pink icing. He wound
the stem in spiral of this icing and wrapped these six up. He
transferred them to six out of the thirteen divots in the cardboard
spacer. He then prepared to make six more, but as Miss squinted, she
noticed that whatever fruit he pulled did not look like a ripe
cherry. This fruit looked wrinkled. As he pulled the next one, she
spotted it clearly; these were carolina reapers.
Miss’s
eyes widened and she looked at Thor to see if he noticed. He had the
exact same studious, unchanged beaming smile on his face as when Loki
first began his work. Reapers dipped, iced, and wrapped up, six more
filled the divots. Loki pulled a special clear plastic container
from the stainless steel refrigerator. Inside, a piece that looked
like an ornate corsage shone through with pearlescent violet petals
and dewdrops crafted with boiled sugar glaze. Loki uncovered the
artisenal confection, scooped it into the center of the heart-shaped
box. Thor beamed.
“Beautiful,”
Thor said.
“Thank
you for the compliment, I am glad you enjoy it!” Loki said.
He
closed up the box and sealed it with the gaudy neon ribbon. Thor
took out his wallet, handed Loki some bills, received his change and
left with a polite wave to Miss. She watched his sculpted ass as he
left. As the magic bell tinkled to denote his exit, Miss turned to
Loki with her hand in the air.
“Fuck
the hell yes! Way to get my back with that mystery girlfriend, you
are awesome!” she said.
“Your
back? I’ve been poisoning this mystery bitch for months, believe me,
Miss, I am doing this all for myself,” he said.
“Wait,
for clarity, you gay is good, you poisoning people is bad,” she
said.
“Oh
please, I never send her anything I wouldn’t let him eat on accident.
So no, it won’t kill her, not that I haven’t thought about it, but I
want it to make her wish she was dead,” Loki said, “so at this
point I’ve hit her with the hottest, foulest, nastiest flavoring I
can find and she still won’t fucking break up with him.”
He
slumped hopelessly against the counter and looked toward the door
with longing.
“He
must be absolutely incredible in the sack,” he said.
“Have
you tried sending him back with, like, normal shit?” she asked.
“What
do you mean?” he asked.
“Like,
normal, delicious chocolates, in a pretty box with a nice note,”
she said.
“Why
would I do that?” He asked.
“Because,
I mean, he keeps bringing her what you send, doesn’t that kinda mean
she likes it?”
Loki
sighed.
“You
might be right. He’s a kinky bitch, I know that,” Loki said, “it’s
very possible she likes the suffering.”
“How
do you know he’s kinky?” Miss asked.
“Work
here for a couple of weeks,” Loki said, “you’ll understand real
quick.”
“So,
does that mean I got the job?” Miss asked.
“Can
you start tonight?” Loki asked.
“Uh,
I mean, I’m here, so, sure, I guess?” Miss asked.
“Then
you’re hired,” Loki said, “go put on that apron.”
She
looked to the coat rack by the door, upon which the sickeningly pink
frilly apron hung. She looked back to his uniform, a striped shirt
and black slacks and tie.
“I
don’t have to wear one if you don’t,” she said.
“You’re
no fun,” he said.
“Look,
if I’m really working here tonight, you should probably show me what
I’m supposed to be doing,” she said. “Oh, you’re working,”
Loki said, “I was just about to take down the Now Hiring sign and
lock up for the night.”
“Wait,
if I’m working tonight, and you’re locking up now, what am I supposed
to do?”
“Training,”
he said cryptically.
He
walked out the door and tugged on the Now Hiring sign. He turned the
hanging Open signboard to Closed on his way back inside. The neon
open signs shut themselves off, and velvet curtains of deep violet
descended over the windows to hide the treats within.
“Miss?
I’ll need you to stand over here, please,” Loki said.
He
gently held her by the wrist and guided her away from the workspace.
The business cards on the cash register each jumped into the air and
flipped, one by one. Before the jump, each white card read “Tricky
Treats Candy Shop, Home of the Trickster’s Delight™!” in
candyapple red ink. After the flip, the black backside of each card
contained candyapple red lettering which read “Torture Candy Sex
Shop” and in much smaller letters below, “(Also the Home of the
Trickster’s Delight™)”.
“What
the theoretical fuck,” she muttered.
“Oh
dear, I’m afraid I’m not accustomed to having others in the shop for
the transition,” he said, “please pardon me.”
Loki
pulled her against his chest just as a squadron of sexy mannequins
pranced past with boxes of gear. She yelped as their chests
collided. He slid his hand to the small of her back and took her
other hand in his. He pushed his right toe between her feet, then
kicked it out to step to the right, pushing her foot to the right in
the process, causing her to step to the right along with him.
“Terribly
sorry, try to keep the tip of your toes pointed towards mine, and if
I push, you step back,” he said as he pushed her.
She
stepped back. A mannequin bolted behind Loki, hauling the hot, still
cascading chocolate fountain.
“And
if I pull you, you step forward,” he instructed.
His
right foot stepped backward, so she stepped forward with her left,
kept the toes of her left shoe pressed against the toe of his right.
He pulled her, she stepped forward as he stepped back. She collided
against him as he stopped abruptly. Mannequins shot by them on every
side, and when he pushed her forward again his legs spread to take
impossibly long steps. She strained and reached backwards with her
heels in an attempt to keep up with his wide gait. The inner seams
of their pants crossed paths and built friction between their legs as
they waltzed among the chaos. He pressed his back against the back
of a bent mannequin, which lifted and swiveled to its left. Loki
swiveled to his left, kept their backsides together, and Miss twirled
to the right to compensate. The mannequin walked away and Loki
swiveled again. When Miss twirled herself into place, she felt her
rump brush against the edge of the counter.
“Up,”
he said.
He
lifted on her waist, and she bounced up to sit on the counter. He
jumped up and straddled her lap with his knees on the countertop as a
mannequin ran a swiffer broom beneath them. She looked at him with a
face full of uncertainty at the correctness of their intimate
proximity. Loki smirked. His eyebrows darted up for a instant, as
he pulled away from her face and pressed against her breastbone.
“Down,”
he said.
He
pushed her, and her back hit flat against the countertop, as he
himself hopped down and ducked below the counter until his head sunk
between her open thighs. She could not see this, as her head hung
free over the opposite edge of the counter. When she looked to the
ceiling, just overhead, a metal bar containing many hangers full of
lingerie swished over her. She sat up to find Loki’s smirking face
still between her legs. She pointed her finger right to the cute
bridge of his pale nose.
“Not
unpleasant, but not okay,” she said.
“I
do hope you’ll pardon the mess,” he replied, “things get a bit
different in here come sundown, nothing looks the same after dark
here. Not even me.”
A
lollipop tree swept over his head, over her lap, and her finger
caught a clear red pop. She caught it as it fell from the tree,
before it could bonk Loki on the head. She looked down at him. His
baby face appeared to age. The smooth, porcelain skin grew a touch
more loose and porous. Parentheses like creases pressed themselves
into the edges of his muzzle, crows feet imprinted at the corners of
his intense eyes. The kiss of age rendered him no less attractive,
only different. Miss lifted the gemlike red candy.
“Can
I have this,” she asked.
He
stood up, put his hands around her waist and drew her from the
countertop. He took the lollipop from her and flung her towards the
entrance door, but kept hold of her hand as a line of mannequins
ducked down and shuffled between them under their arms. He lifted
their hands and spun back into her arms. While he spun, he dropped
the lollipop back into a second mobile lollipop tree and withdrew a
different, teddy bear shaped pop. He unwrapped it and presented it
to her.
“How
about this one,” he said, “it’s safer!”
“Sure,”
she said.
She
bit the head of the lollipop and closed her lips around its round
waist. A mannequin barreled toward the two of them. Loki, wide
eyed, silently asked for a little push. Miss pushed him forward as
she pushed herself back out of its path. Her heel caught some unseen
obstacle as she stepped back. Loki wheeled to face her, grabbed her
palm as she fell, yanked her towards him, spun her back into his
arms. She looked up at him wide eyed, and sucked down the cherry
flavor from her teddy bear lolly. The magic bell tinkled out an
alarm. The mannequin squad jumped, scrambled to their final
positions. Outside the last rays of sun disappeared behind the
mountains. The candies that were left on the shelves transformed
into various adult novelties and sexy sundries. The assorted candies
in the stacked glass bowls became individually wrapped specialty
condoms, energy pills, and single use lubricant packets. Packets of
Fruit Stripe Gum unwrapped themselves and reformed into striped
edible underwear, as displayed on one previously nude mannequin.
Packets of twizzlers unwound and tied themselves in intricate
Japanese knots around a rope-bondage mannequin. The long, twisted
spiral lollies in the vase turned into pyrex wands. Miss’ wide eyed
expression turned to one of concerned confusion as her teddy bear
melted in her mouth to take the form of a small cherry red anal plug.
As she continued to suck on this new-found pacifier, it provided the
same cherry flavor.
“That
one does look cute in you,” he said.
He
stretched out a long, elegant finger and pressed the button on the
butt of the plug. It wobbled, then the edges of Miss’ lips blurred
as the vibrator whirred. She pushed the button and it pulsed
rapidly, pushed once more and it switched off. She pulled the plug
from her lips with a slurp and stared at it in suspicion. Loki
smirked at her, and each new wrinkle the sunset brought with it
displayed itself upon his face.
“You
seem shocked at the change,” Loki said.
“I’m
just surprised that it’s still cherry flavored, considering, y’know,
where it usually goes,” she said.
She
popped the plug back in her mouth and continued to suck on it. Loki
chuckled.
“You’re
going to have a lot to learn from my clientele, I can already tell.”
Summary: Loki takes an interest in Tony’s daughter.
Pairing: Loki Laufeyson X Stark! Reader
Warnings: None
HC Count: 48
A/N: Wow! More headcannons! This is pretty soft and geek-y by the way. I should have done my AP homework instead but 🙃
–
Okay, so, Loki’s supposed to be some ancient god, right? So it’s obvious that he’s much older than he appears.
But, it’s equally as obvious, that if Tony Stark were to have a kid, that they’d be pretty young.
So, you were Tony’s beloved prodigy child.
Your life was kept private, for the most part. No one knew of your background, or your father’s identity (money.) You’d been given permission to temporarily change your last name for university, where you’d been while all of the Avengers’ stuff had taken place.
But, after graduating, it was time to return home.
You lived out in the New Avengers Facility, helping your dad with the engineering and analysis aspect of his work.
You had always been close to the original Avengers; Clint, Nat, Bruce, Steve, and your dad (Obviously.) But you’d never met the mythical Thor.
Or his equally mythical brother, Loki.
But, when the two of you first met, you hadn’t even realised that you were in the presence of a world terrorist.
To be fair, you were tired and he wasn’t wearing the reindeer antlers or any shiny armor.
You’d wandered into the kitchen at 3 AM, in only a large t-shirt and some sleep shorts. You had been working all night and you wanted a snack.
Loki had been sitting there reading a book and eating an apple.
“Hm? Who’re you?”
You were really tired.
Loki scoffed and looked up at you, unimpressed.
“I am more powerful than your human mind can even comprehend.”
You rolled your eyes and grabbed a water bottle and a bowl of strawberries.
“Whatever. Just don’t kill anyone, weirdo.”
So, yeah, not entirely as scared of the God of Mischief as you should have been.
The second time you’d meet, however, would be much more memorable. You were in the library, in Loki’s favorite chair.
He was a second away from flipping you out of the chair, entirely.
Your legs were dangling over the armrest, and a thick book was resting on your stomach. You were sleeping.
Loki didn’t expect this.
A few moments later, you’d open your eyes and saw him standing there.
“Oh, sorry. I guess I passed out.”
Loki would watch as you stood up, noticing the way your feet gracefully would meet the ground.
“No. It’s fine. I was simply looking for a book.”
Your eyes would light up at that.
“Which one? Do you need help finding it? I can help.”
Loki’s lips would twitch upward into a smile.
From then on, the two of you would constantly meet in the library, discussing literature.
He would prefer books on Norse Mythology.
You would prefer Greek Mythology.
The two of you would get into the occasional spat regarding the stories:
“What do you mean irrational? It makes total sense to test out the only thing that couldn’t kill him!”
“What!? Loki, you can’t just kill people because you’re curious!”
“Well, that Hera figure in your stories seems to think the opposite!”
You’d keep it a secret from your dad, though.
Thor would actually be really proud of Loki for making a friend.
Thor would know.
“Ah, brother! I see you have found a companion!”
“Preposterous! She is not a companion, but a friend.”
“HAH!”
Thor would constantly talk about his brother with you:
“When we were children, he would constantly read those books that you enjoy. I am not surprised that he has found a friend who does as well.”
“Pfft. Did he also have that annoying habit of disappearing when you suddenly lose that collection of Penny Dreadfuls you lent him?”
“No? But, he did tend to destroy my property many times when we were small, like my old friend Tyr.”
Eventually, you and Loki would start talking about different books:
“The romance genre seems rather repetitive.”
“Like what?”
“Well, there are constant love triangles and blatant polyamory in these novels.”
“Are you reading Matched?”
“Yes. Why?’
“Nothing.”
“My point is: what two men would continue to pursue after a woman who is clearly in love with another?”
“It’s all about the chase.”
“What chase? Are they chasing each other?”
You’d snort and poke his nose.
“No, it’s a saying. It means that every man prefers the work and effort required to ‘woo’ a woman.”
“I see.”
Man is into you.
And it’s not like you can’t tell, you are a genius after all.
You could see it all the time:
Stealing glances at you when he’d think you were reading
Indulging in your curiousity about his powers
Bringing you snacks while you work
Staying up with you when were working late and making conversation
Asking you questions about yourself
Dude would be pretty obvious.
You’d talk to Thor about it:
“Do you think he’s going to ask me out?”
“What does this mean? ‘Ask you out?’”
“Like, does he want to ‘court’ me?”
“Oh definitely. Without a doubt.”
But when he never makes a move, you’d confront him about it:
“What are we doing?”
“Whatever do you mean?”
“Loki, I know you like me.”
“No. If anything, I tolerate you.”
“Uhuh. Be real with me.”
He would sigh and not be able to meet your eyes.
“My dear, we both know that I am much older than you. I would not be able to satisfy the insatiable fire of your youth. I would bore you.”
You would actually laugh out loud.
“Oh wait. You’re serious?”
It would take a little bit of time to convince Loki that he was more than enough for you:
“‘Sup, most interesting man in the world?”
“How’s my handsome bean doing today?”
“Hey, who has two fingers and loves you? ME!”
Honestly, I think he’d only agree to date you to stop with the “encouragement” as you called it.
But it would be fun.
You still wouldn’t tell your dad.
But it wouldn’t be long before he found out.
“Hey, kiddo, I was wondering if you could-”
You’d been reading.
In Loki’s lap.
There would definitely be some collateral damage made that day.
Your dad wouldn’t let you out of your room for three days.
Don’t even get me started on how he would go after Loki.
“You’re dating my daughter!?”
“Stark, she’s an adult, she can make her own-”
“She is a child!”
“No she isn’t!”
There would have to be some external interference.
“Hey, Tony, let’s just take a second to calm down and-”
“Clint, if you say another word, I will throw you out of that window.”
So there’d be some physical fighting, resulting in the Avengers holding both of them back.
“You’re a friggin’ cradle robber!”
“She is well beyond childhood Stark and you know it!”
“Well she’s still way younger than you!”
That one hit close.
“You don’t think I know that!?”
The room would go quiet.
“I ask her every, single day if I make her happy! Because I can’t believe it myself!”
Loki wouldn’t even care who was around as he shouted.
“But she always says the same thing: ‘You’ve made me more happy than any language can translate into.’“
They would both be let go.
Honestly, the scene gets kinda awkward because Tony would try and comfort him, but he’s still angry and oh no drama, blah, blah, blah.
But, it would open Tony’s eyes a bit.
It would still take major convincing from the other Avengers for him to let you out and just accept that you were growing up.
But not before major threats were made:
“If you hurt her in any way, we will be testing that theory on whether or not you can die.”
“I can lock you up in a facility so isolated and far away that the entire world will pass you by and you’ll rot until the end of time.”
It would get pretty dark.
But, you would finally be released from your temporary prison.
“Dad, you way overreacted.”
“No I didn’t.”
“Tony, you locked the girl in her room for three days, straight.”
“Steve! Stay out of this!”
“Well, Tony, you’ve always been overprotect-”
“Hey! Green giant! Stay outta this!”
“And why on earth would you discuss this with Loki instead of her? That’s sexist.”
“Thank you, Nat!”
Now that the two of you were more open with your relationship, you were able to do more together.
You would go on dates to New York City, Philadelphia, Seoul, y’know, normal stuff.
While Loki doesn’t necessarily like going out, he does enjoy watching you get so excited to spend time together.
“Oh my goodness! This coffee has so much whipped cream! Take my picture!”
There would be a lot of photos within the first few weeks of dating.
Loki’s photography skills would be actual trash though.
“Why are you silent?”
“Well, the photo I took of you eating the 32 cm ice cream is hot, but the one you took of me makes me look like the hippo from Madagascar.”
But he’d also be secretly into those cheesy couple photos (You know which ones I’m talking about.)
He’d also be more physically affectionate:
Holding your hands in public
Letting you rest your head on his shoulder when the two of you read together
Wrapping his arms around your stomach from behind you when you were “ignoring” him
Surprise kisses during meals together
Dude, but this man gets so jealous so easily:
“He was clearly trying to seduce you with his prowess.”
“His ‘prowess?’ Loki, he asked me for my name so that he could write it on the cup.”
“…”
“Whatever.
And it doesn’t matter what gender, either.
“Loki, I promise that when I said ‘she’s cute’ I was just complimenting her outfit. You’re much cuter than she is.”
He’d be all pout-y but still take your hand in his.
“I know that.”
The first time you said “I Love You” would be really soft:
He’d be watching a movie with you one night.
“I still think that they should’ve stayed together.”
He’d look down and just be happy.
You’d been cuddling with him on the couch, just resting your head on his chest.
And he’d realize that he had everything that he’d ever wanted in one person.
“I love you.”
Your eyes would get wide and you’d sit straight up.
“What did you just say?”
Then he’d get all flustered and embarrassed,
“I said you’re annoying!”
But you’d heard him.
“Well, if I’m so annoying then I guess I’ll just have to leave you-”
“Okay, I said ‘I love you.’”
“Exactly.”
Then you’d cuddle back onto his chest with a wide grin.
“I love you, too.”
Your dad would hate everything
But, Loki would still sometimes be insecure about the age difference sometimes:
“Oh, wow! I wish my daughter would spend time with me like that.”
Loki’s hand on your back would turn cold (Jotun form) before dropping down.
“Hey, don’t listen to them, they’re just confused.”
But he’d still be moody for the rest of the day.
It wouldn’t be until later that night that he’d get some reassurance from you.
“Loki?”
“Yes, my darling?”
“I love you.”
It would still shock Loki a little bit whenever you said that.
But in a good way ( :
You’d look up at him with those big eyes that he loved so much.
He’d chuckle and realize that no matter what others thought, you still love him all the same.
He would sigh and wrap an arm around you and put a little smooch on your forehead.
“I know, love. I love you, too.”
Overall, a very wholesome relationship.
Especially when considering that the dude is still a century older than you.
Toad's Cave 