AHAHAHHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!
AHAHAHAHHAHA!
*wheezes*
REGIS WHY ARE YOU SO….REGIS-Y.
Ohmygod, Regis is a respectable and incredibly wise and firm king and everything, but this feels just so like him. Playful and sassy and cheeky when he’s not being that magnificent king. He’s being this…this…this cheeky jerk that has almost no sense of modesty and will just do things like this.
｡ﾟ(TヮT)ﾟ｡
Regis had no sense of sympathy here, hhahahaha. And it’s not that he can’t understand these boys’ thoughts and emotions, it’s precisely because he knows how dense Gladio and Noctis get that he decides to burst in with that comeback, ahsdjshfd, Regis you, you, you thing, I love you.
｡ﾟ(TヮT)ﾟ｡
The best part is the playful side is surely just him; Clarus must be rolling the eyes in the background, ahahahahaha. The scene is hilarious. Noct and Gladio on a side, Regis and Clarus on the other, and the younger men are complaining and when Regis delivers that comeback Clarus first just looks at him as if to say something, but then he remembersthis is Regis and he just rolls the eyes because…well…it’s Regis. This was such a Regis answer and well, there’s nothing Clarus can do about that lmao
How did the boys find out, anyway? I’m going to assume Clarus and Regis just decided to tell them one day. But not while eating because the older men knew that the knew could take them off guard and make them lose appetite or make dinner awkward, so this one day they just went to them to talk for a minute.
I can see Noctis’ face absolutely dropping, and Gladio about to drop the face,then thinking he can’t do that in front of the king, so he’s this mess of what-do-I-do-where-do-I-look then looking at Clarus with shock the “WHY DIDN’T YOU TELL ME BEFORE!?” kind.
There’s the prince, jaw hanging low and eyes wide, and Gladio at his side, petrified and not sure where to look or if this is a joke.
“You’re…what?” Noctis asks carefully, unsure of whether he has to freak out yet or not.
“It’s true” Clarus says and takes one of Regis’ hands in his own. He brings it up and looks at the king with absolute devotion and love, and Regis looks at him back like this is his guardian angel, and then Clarus kisses his knuckles oh so dearly softly, before looking at him again with that affectionate smile. “We’re together.”
Noctis heard fine, but his only confusion and what he’s busy with in his head and hence why he hasn’t replied yet is “So does that make of Clarus the king omg is that legal, to make a Shield the king? but then who’s the shield does Clarus need a shield now did they just break through a milenary family name because now they’re throne family and who will be shield now and does that make of Gladio a prince and wait a minute he’s older than me dOES THIS MAKE HIM THE HEIR AND NOT ME WHY IS THIS SO UNFAIR”
So while Noct is taking mental notes and getting confused, Gladio is a bit frozen and looking at both of the older men, who are looking back as if expecting an answer or reaction, all smiles and softness, and Gladio just- he can’t- he can’t believe this because…because ohmygod, this was so unexpected and how could he not see this before and his dad is dating someone???? IS THIS WHY SOMETIMES HE CAME UP WITH EXCUSES TO NOT SPEND THE NIGHT HOME? Wait a minute, the night? And Gladio’s mentally like “*GASPS* OF COURSE, all those “there’s this new program and I have to hold watch at the king’s chambers during nights from now on” excuses, they were all so Clarus could- so Clarus could…!
So Gladio, not thinking and just out of the sudden realization that hits him like a train on the head, just yelps it out to Regis:
“You’re fucking my father!?”
Regis and Clarus look at him surprised, each their way; Regis is utterly surprised that Gladio is yelling at him because BOY this is one of the most respectful young men that he has ever known so this is new, and Clarus looks as if though Gladio had just screamed he was going to murder the king, and Clarus looks so personally offended and somewhere between “HOW DARE YOU” and “OHMYGOD YOU DIDN’T”
It only takes a second before Regis smiles. It’s a smile that he’s had all his life; it’s the smile that comes prior to a pun, a joke, a prank, a comeback or a terrible idea. That smile usually sent the entire Accordo Team into panic because they knew Regis was about to drop the worst pun ever or about to do something like warping towards a Zu just to pet it because he’s curious and “what’s the worst that can happen”. It’s the smile that makes Noctis petrify in his place because Regis is about to drop a dad joke, the worst of dad jokes.
Because this is Regis; you’d think Ignis is a Pun Master, that’s only because you didn’t see young Regis on his journey. Regis is a GOD of puns and bad jokes and stupid ideas and recklessness.
So he gives that smile, and then he fakes to be very thoughtful.
“Hm…well, you’re not mistaken, but theorically it’s not me fucking him, rather me getting fu-”
“EW”
“WOW, OKAY”
“EW”
“I DIDN’T NEED-”
“WOW”
“-ALL THAT INFORMATION-”
“I CAN’T-”
“-UGH-”
Gladio and Noctis are panicking and talking loudly at the same time, lookgin away, gesturing, making faces and trying to go away; they walk into each other, then they try to walk away while still rambling senseless things, anything so long they can’t hear over their own voices, and they leave like that, made a panic and talking and ‘Ew’-ing mess.
As soon as Regis gave that comeback, Clarus widened the eyes and looked at him, but then when he saw Regis giving The Smile while the boys were freaking out, Clarus just let his shoulders drop and looked at Regis completely unimpressed because “seriously?”.
So he just rolls the eyes and sighs.
“Was that really necessary?” Clarus asks him after the younger ones left.
“Nope.”
How majestic, for a king to say ‘nope’.
Clarus just rolls the eyes and softly sighs again, before wrapping an arm around Regis’s houlders and starting to walk away with him. Yeah, of course it wasn’t necessary, but…this is Regis. What else could be expected?
This is canon to me now. Bless you, anon.
Tag: Regclar
thou must have pity for Clarus during Noct’s baby days. Regis was not only a doting father who would baby talk and coo at Noctis’s adorableness, but Clarus had to keep Regis in his sights at all times or else he’d be halfway across the citadel in the blink of an eye because he spotted a baby outside. the man, who is the King, top level royalty and importance, is a small child always wandered off to look at smaller children. This is how Clarus loses his hair. he loves Regis, truly. This poor man
Hahahahahahahahahahhahahahahha!!!
By the name of The Most Sacred and Most Illuminated Moon Prince Coonie the Adorable and Magnificent, I declare this as canon. Square Enix can say nothing about it or oppose, it’s the Garbage’s Prince’s word and it’s official and I oppose to any opposition to making this canon.
I have always pictured that mostly during youth but this goes on for longer, Regis is an hyperactive little mess that comes and goes everywhere because he’s, as you state, a small child all of his life, and he’s curious here and curious there and excited about this and about that and can we please go there omg pls can we go there.
It has never helped that Regis always had some sort of authority over others, that did but grow with the years. So Regis wants to go somewhere, he will damn go there, whether you want it or not, because he can and he wants and he can’t resist because “did you see that, omg, I want to touch”.
I am hopelessly, utterly, desperately in love with the idea that Regis is a children man, as in, he’s desperately in love with babies and toddlers and he wants to carry every single one that he sees and make funny faces at all of them and “omg so adorable can I hug this child, ma’am? So chubby and adorbs, you so cute hhfgdngdjndfg”. He kind of has the face of that sort of man, absolutely devoted to kids in a Papa way that just turns him into an absolute mess.
( ´ ▽ ` ).♡
There’s King Regis, getting distracted mid-speech on TV because “HELLO THERE BABY BOY HIIIII :3″. There’s prince Regis visiting one of the towns during the war 30 years ago, talking serious matters when “OMG IS THAT YOUR KID, CAN I HUG HER? :3″. There’s Shield Clarus, Crownsguard Cor, old friend Cid and companion Weskham, desperately and frantically running up and down and side to side across all of Altissia because “WE LOST THE PRINCE, WHERE IS THE PRINCE, WHAT IF HE WAS KIDNAPPED, REGIS WHERE TF ARE YOU”. And, of course, there’s prince Regis, sat in the middle of a public square, letting all the kids paint his face and put flowers on his hair while he makes all of them laugh.
This man made of adorableness.
And then, of course, there’s Regis only getting worse after Noctis is born, because GODS, HE’S OBSESSED WITH HIS SON, he has always adored children and babies AND THIS ONE IS HIS OWN HNFDNNGFDGNF, so his Papa mode has grown A KAZILLION TIMES.
So this has his Papa alert and senses and mode activated and super strong all the time. It’s simply natural that he beelines towards every baby and kid he sees, THE MAN CAN’T RESIST IT, IT’S IN HIS NATURE, HE WANTS TO SQUEEZE THOSE ROUND FACES AND HEAR THOSE BABY LAUGHS PLS.
No damn wonder Clarus lost his hair rather than shaved it off!
Omg, I just thought both cases woud be hilarious. On a side, it’s hilarious that Clarus loses his hair out of stress from having to chase Regis everywhere all the time since their youth and it only gets worse the older they get, and it’s hilarious to think Clarus decided to cut his hair himself because he tends to pull from it every time Regis drives him mad in stress and what is the point of hair if he’s pulling from it all the time, dammit.
Ahahahahhaha!
Regis, that adorable adult toddler, I love him.
Poor Clarus, indeed, though! He had to accompany Regis to the war in their youth, stressing to protect him in the battlefield but also stressing having to chase him around because THIS PRINCE CAN’T UNDERSTAND THE MEANING OF “STOP”, and he’s warping everywhere he sees and running places and climbing things and Regis can yoU PLEASE NOT DO THAT YOU’RE RISKING YOUR LIFE SENSELESSLY DO YOU NOT HAVE COMMON SENSE, but Regis is just SO EXCITED AND CURIOUS.
And we have to add to it that Clarus also has to chase him and find him whenever the young prince is hopping from place to place because “GASPS there’s a baby there!”, “Ohmygod Clarus look it’S A BABY THERE”, “CLARUS IT’S A KINDERGARTEN FIELD TRIP THER-” <— Regis is not asking him to go. Regis is just pointing it out before/at the same time he’s wraping or running off towards there.
And then it only continues for a whole decade, until Regis has his own son.
And then it only gets twice the worse having to chase this king around.
He’s late to meetings, interruptnig his speeches, running outside the Citadel without guards, secretly inviting all the kindergartens to the Citadel for “recreative field trips” without telling anyone else, carrying with some random baby
(when he’s not bringing his)
during meeting Councils and your Majesty where did you get that child and whose is it omg you can’t just steal babies (don’t worry, he’s not stealing them lmao).
And Clarus is behind there, chasing him, running after him, trying for Regis to not accidentally end up dead because he’s warping from too high up or running straight into the streets with not a single guard because HAVE YOU SEEN THIS MAN RUN TO CATCH UP WITH A TODDLER OMG IT’S IMPOSSIBLE TO CATCH UP WITH HIM.
Imagine Regis in like the tenth floor pacing around being nagged by Clarus because of putting his kingly duties off at times and being this running careless mess.
“-I’m telling you all this jsut because I care about you, Regis. You can get mad at me if you want. But all I’m saying is that if you want to say hello to a toddler, you can’t just run into the streets like that. I know you can look after yourself, but we’re in the middle of a war, Niflheim is after you, not the kingdom, because they know they’ll have the kingdom if they can have you, and you just run into the streets like that, so careless? Regis, I don’t want anything to happen to you, both as a Lucian and as your friend. It’s personal to me. And I’m-…you better be listening to me, Regis Lucis Cae-”
Clarus just turned around to see why Regis is so quiet.
All that he finds is the blue silhouette of the king who just warped off the window of the tenth floor to the damn outside of the Citadel grounds and is currently running after a man that’s walking with five toddlers.
This is the moment Clarus gestures to grab his hair and pull from it out of stress and exasperation and panic and asdjkjddlflasdjhgs.
So good he lost all of it by this point, honestly, he’d just harm himself from all that pulling.
(PS: now Clarus has to run ten floors down because he can’t warp like Regis, ahahahhaa)
I LOVE WHAT YOU SHARE WITH ME HERE, ANON.
IT SHALL BE CANON.
Clarus needs one of those backpack child leashes for Regis. if he wasn’t the king, Clarus would’ve gotten one. some days, usually after but Regis chasing, he daydreams about it, life would be so much simpler
HAHAHHAHSAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!
The best part about this is that it’s not only a child leash, it’s a BACKPACK LEASH
｡ﾟ(TヮT)ﾟ｡
I have the visuals of either young or older Regis with a moogle backpack-toddler-leash and I don’t know why it’s so hilarious, ahahahhaha!
Imagine Clarus imagines to do that, but just to embarrass the king as a way of punishment to see if he finally understands. “NO MORE RUNNING AROUND LIKE THAT, YOU’RE LIKE A TODDLER, REGIS, YOU WANT TO BE A TODDLER? I’LL TREAT YOU LIKE A TODDLER >:(”, so Clarus thinks of forcing the backpack leash on him.
｡ﾟ(TヮT)ﾟ｡
Is this stopping Regis from his hyperactive runs around the Citadel?
Nah, man. He’s just gonna warp away.
Clarus sighs; nope. Not gonna work, so not worth trying. Plus, that’s the king so it must be kind of forbidden or something.
Clarus will just walk now every time Regis runs away. He’s too old for this shit. And Regis will get tired at some point, right?
….right?
Someone trying to make small talk: “So, how many children do you have?” Clarus, glancing at Regis stuffing a bag full of sweets: “three.”
AHAHAS
AHAHSHADHAAHS
AHAHAHHADHASHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHASHASHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!
AHAHAHAHAH!
*WHEEZING, FALLING OFF CHAIR*
ABSOLUTE CANON.
This enters in the Royal Decree under the signature and royal seal of the prince of garbage Moon Raccoon as absolutely canon regardless of what Square Enix has to say or if they present opposition to this. I don’t give a damn, Square Enix, this is canon to me now.
Best part is Regis is stuffing a bag full of sweets. They’re in a store, and Regis said nothing, he just grabbed a bag and is filling it with candies.
“Oh? So it’s Gladiolus, little Iris…and the third one?”
“Oh, you don’t want to know.”
“How so? Little troublemaker? Haha :)”
“BIG troublemaker. Little bastard can’t understand what No means and when he sees a sign that says ‘danger’ he’s not walking nearby it, no, he’s THROWING HIMSELF FACE-FIRST INTO THE PIT.”
“Oh…”
“He’s the reason I lost my hair. He can’t go around without supervision even though he’s already grown enough to comprehend, he can’t understand what Stop means, he puts his duties off to go say hello to toddlers, and he can’t understand that you doN’T SECRETLY CARRY WITH CANDIES IN YOUR POCKETS TO COUNCIL MEETINGS- REGIS LUCIS CAELUM WE ARE NOT GOING TO PAY FOR ALL THIS CANDY, IT’S RIDICULOUS, THAT’S THREE BAGS, ARE YOU NOT SEEING THEIR SIZE JESUS CHRIST AND MOTHER OF DRAGONS CAN YOU PLEASE STOP- STOP BEHAVING LIKE A TODDLER AND GIVE THAT TO ME, GIVE THAT TO ME I SAI- NO WARPING THAT’S CHEATIN-” *super exasperated and loud growling*
There’s the Shield of the King, running after the king, who refuses to leave the candy and is yelling “NOOOO” all through the supermarket. He needs them to somehow entertain himself during unimportant meetings, Clarus, don’t be so harsh on him!
Regis’s curiosity most definitely led to 10,000 needles in the ass at one point
AHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAAHAH
I was going to write it exactly like that! Getting needled in the ass
｡ﾟ(TヮT)ﾟ｡
The best part is that none of the guys even notice until he comes back to camp. Like, he’s going to say something like “*GASPS* Look, it’s a worm! :D” and he’ll be calmly off to see the worm, and five minutes later he comes back limping and barely on his feet, drops himself on camp, and he has 10,000 needless all over the ass and the back and thighs.
“Oh my Six, Regis, what happened!?”
“Thought you had gone to see a worm?”
“Stay calm, your Highness, let me attend to you.”
“What did you do now, Regis?”
“…I was curious.”
I’m madly in love with this man
( ˙꒳˙ )
Clarus, into his glass of whiskey: “King’s shield? more like world’s most underpaid babysitter”
Clarus, in private with Regis once at camp, after an Imperial attack:
“Regis. I take my job with pride. You are a wonderful prince with a pressure on you no one deserves. You’re doing phenomenal, and it’s my job to do twice the good as you. And I promise I will. I will protect you, I won’t let anything harm you. The only way something can happen to you is after I fall dead. Because I am your Shield. A proud Amicitia Shield whose duty is to stand strong against all hells, to win wars on my own if necessary, to fight angels, demons and people, to be an unmovable warrior that’s fierce and loyal. That’s what I am. A Shield.”
Clarus, mid-battle with a hoard of daemons that regis accidentally unleashed from sewers because he removed the cap trying to reach a coin he saw there:
“Shield of the prince, shiELD OF THE PRINCE, MORE LIKE THE WORLD’S MOST UNDERPAID BABYSITTER, WHAT DID I TELL YOU, WHAT THE FUCK DID I FUCKING TELL YOU REGIS LUCIS CAELUM, YOU DON’T GO AWAY FROM CAMP AT 2 AM, YOU DON’T GO TO SUSPICIOUS PLACES AND YOU DON’T GO ON YOUR OWN, YOU ALWAYS END UP DOING SOME STUPIDITY, I CAN’T TAKE MY EYES OFF YOU FOR TWO SECONDS, FOR TWO GODDAMN FUCKING STUPID SECONDS BECAUSE YOU ALREADY UNLEASHED PANIC AND HAVOC. WHAT ARE YOU A TODDLER!? MOVE DOWN- GET OUT THE WAY, AAARGGGGH!!!”
And this leads us to this other wonderful ask someone sent in not long ago and that I hardcore-ly headcanon XD
Here you have it, do check it out, you’re not going to regret it: (X)
Regis: *pouting and letting out little whines of ‘ow’ as Clarus ‘patiently’ plucks each individual needle from his royal highnass*
HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA
Clarus, pulling the needles out: I told you. I told you. I fucking- I’m sorry. I told you. Did you listen? No. Let’s run straight to danger, why not? I’m worried king Mors didn’t have another child, because the way you’re going- I’m sorry! The way you’re going you’re not going to make it to 21. And whose fault will it be? The Shield’s. Of course. Because he couldn’t- I’m sorry, I said I’m sorry! Because the Shield couldn’t protect him. But will they believe the Shield’s story? Will they believe when the Shield explains that he did try to protect him, but when the toddler of a prince saw the sign that read “Danger” he didn’t just go straight to it, he actually THREW HIMSELF FACE-FIRST INTO THE PIT? No. Of course they won’t. And there it goes; the entire Lucis Caelum bloodline. You’ll have finished with 2000 years of history. The reason? “He was curious.”
Regis, facedown, face hidden in his hands, voice muffled: Stop imitating me.
Cor is internally laughing. He already made a bet with Cid to see who starts crying first.
Regis with the posture of a guilty child after unleashing the demons whilst trying to get a coin then getting yelled at by Clarus: “But it was all worth it! look I got the coin- it’s shiny, would you like it Clarus? Clarus? where are you going?”
[From this other ask, maybe? :3]
HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA!!!
The Accordo Team, or Chocobros 1.0 as some call them, all sweaty, stained in their own blood, panting, clothes ripped and someone’s tooth on the ground, all standing there barely conscious and having made it barely alive of the daemons attack, all in silence except for the whines of pain and the panting…
And then Regis turns around and lifts the arm.
“But look, I got the coin!”
It’s awkward silence before everyone just rolls the eyes and start going away.
“What? Why those long faces? We’re alive, right? 😀 Hey, Clarus. Are you upset? Oh, come on, you know I didn’t mean to do that. I just wanted the- say, say what, Clarus, hey, Clarus. Listen here. As a compensation…you get to keep the coin.”
Long, long silence, with Clarus just looking down at a super proud and smiling Regis.
“Seriously?”
“Do you not want it? D: Clarus? Why are you going away, hey, wait up for me! It’s a good coin, I put lots of effort trying to get it and I’m gifting it to you and you ignore me? Clarus! ;____;”
Nobody spoke that night at camp, except Regis when he said “Do you guys want to see a trick with the coin?”
Everyone left to the tent. The only reason they let him in was to keep an eye on this mess of an hyperactive ball of disaster.
Cid threw the coin to the river while Regis was asleep
Clarus loves Regis. As a friend, as a brother, even as a lover, but he’s the most adorably aggravating man this side of Eos and sometimes it’s very hard not to strangle him with the child leash that he somehow warped out of to go make funny faces at children
THE CHILD LEASH, AHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!
I love this. Clarus definitely loves Regis, in any and every way. He adores him and would take a bullet for him both as a Shield but also like a friend, like a brother, like a lover, like the loyal and adoring soul that he dedicates to Regis.
But it can get so frustrating to chase after him, omg, Clarus is tired. Physically and mentally ;w;
Gotta be happy for older Clarus; maybe Regis is still going around everywhere to say hi to toddlers, but at least now Clarus gets to walk after him rather than run across all Insomnia three times a day. x)
Regis and Clarus took a moment to watch the (hilarious) sparring before Noctis ran out of the room. Regis laughs, and Clarus can’t helped but quietly comment “Oh, but weren’t you the same I recall?” Regis, unashamedly: “No, I was aroused far before you beat me Clarus.”
[I believe this is from the “First time Gladio sparred with Ignis…” ask]
AHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
First of all, you added Regclar and that has captured my raccoon heart, okay? Thanks.
I love that Clarus is trying to tease Regis, but it only ends up being returned to him. This is why Clarus can’t sass Regis, because Regis takes his own words and puts them against him
｡ﾟ(TヮT)ﾟ｡
REGIS’ ANSWER THO, HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA HDSAHA
｡ﾟ(TヮT)ﾟ｡
Clarus expecting some “Yeah, you’re right”, or Regis to shut up, and all of us expecting some “Yes, but you loved it”, but Regis strikes with “No, I was aroused far before you beat me, Clarus.”
LMAO, REGIS YOU CHEEKY IDIOT.
At least he’s sincere!
Our sweet back-then-prince was probably aroused as soon as he grew some hormones just by looking at Clarus standing there doing nothing (I mean have you looked at his Shield holy cows you can’t blame him)Hahaha, loving this! Thanks!
( ´ ▽ ` )
Toad's Cave 