Look … I love, love Del Toro, The Shape of Water looks incredible, and it’s getting rave reviews, and I need to see it, but I absolutely can’t go to the movies. I just can’t sit down and watch that nice lady fuck Abe Sapien’s sexy cousin in a theater full of strangers. I’m not even going to be able to handle it myself 13 months from now when I get to watch it alone on my laptop. I love and respect all you freaks but I am not a monster fucker like the rest of you. And a fish? A fucking fish? You ever cut your hand by going against the grain of a fish’s scales? Hell no. Keep that away from my pussy. What’s his dick like? You don’t know. Could have spines. Not chancing it.
not all of us are cowards
There are a billion stories about sexy mermaids of greater or lesser degrees of humanity having sex with human men – I don’t get what’s supposed to be so alarming about The Shape of Water. I mean, sure, he might be a weird eel man, but look around you! There are human women fucking way more revolting things every single day and no one bats an eye. You wanna tell me a fish man has less sex appeal than an American politician?
Toad's Cave 