tygermama:

scarletjedi:

shelb-o-baggins:

toomanylokifeels:

I’m so tired. I just wanna curl up in Thor’s big muscular arms and use his bara titties as firm pillows for my aching back and neck. He could summon some rain for ambiance as I slept, too. Gosh Thor would be so good for nap time. I don’t even care about how staticy my hair would get, and if he had to adventure??? Just put me in one of those toddler slings strapped to his chest, I’ll drool all over it. He’d let me do that too. He’s just so good. 10/10 quality naps.

which one of the guardians of the galaxy wrote this

Drax

they all want this, Drax is just the only one brave enough to write it down

rocket-pool:

snowyowlee:

iopele:

spacegladiatorlesbian:

thefingerfuckingfemalefury:

the-real-seebs:

So, Chris Hemsworth is in Ghostbusters, and Thor wasn’t in Civil War.

The character played by Chris Hemsworth in Ghostbusters:

  • Is abnormally handsome.
  • Does not know how telephones work.
  • Also doesn’t know how saxophones work, or what doctors do.
  • Seeks to spend time hanging around with human female scientists.
  • Doesn’t actually need glasses.
  • Never ends up actually injured by anything that happens.

I’m just sayin’, man.

Kevin’s superhuman abilities weren’t a result of being posessed by a human ghost, it was the result of a ghost taking control of an Asgardian O.O

HEADCANON: Someone showed Thor the Christopher Reeve Superman movies and he decided he needed a secret identity. Kevin is the result.

HEADCANON ACCEPTED 

@rocket-pool

I seriously love all the Thor is Kevin stuff. I really do.

thesassylorax:

shoofle:

zzazu:

anorie:

borednawkward:

This is honestly my favorite Thor moment. He has no idea what that thing is, where he is, what’s going on, but he’s eating pancakes, and the chick with the taser is pointing another electrical thing at him and there are faces on books, but he’s eating pancakes, and yea he’s knows he’s sexy, so yea, he’ll smile.

#Thor doesn’t get enough love #he’s like this huge handsome teddy bear with long lucious locks of golden hair #and he’s sweet and courteous and would tell you bedtime stories about the nine realms

he doesnt even know what a camera is guys, he just smiles on command

I kind of love asgardians. Most people would be kind of miffed that someone hit them with a car twice and tasered them. He’s just like “SHE HAS BESTED ME IN COMBAT! LET US FEAST TOGETHER!” and I can really get behind that.

Reason #1,450 why I love Thor

Avengers Preference: How You Kiss

avenge-these-imagines:

genovaqueenbee:

avenge-these-imagines:

A/N: Another preference! This time, I think I got everyone. If I somehow missed your favorite, just ask and I will write one up for them 🙂

Request: Can i have a preference? How the avengers kiss you. Maybe could you add pietro and bucky as well?

Warnings: fluff 🙂

Thor: Thor likes to kiss you with lots of grandeur, walking up to you, capturing your face in both of his hands as he presses his lips to yours, running his thumbs along your cheekbones and proclaiming his love for you in that deep, booming voice of his. It always makes you roll your eyes and smile, because you wouldn’t want it any other way.

Wanda/Scarlet Witch: You and Wanda communicate a lot through her powers (she reads your mind and speaks directly into your thoughts, most of the time), so when she actually takes the time to stop and physically kiss you, it means a lot. It’s usually a very soft, sweet press of her lips on your way to sleep, or right before one of you leaves for a mission.

Pietro/Quicksilver: Pietro’s kisses are quick (of course) and often. He kisses your cheek as he dashes by you, always way too impatient to walk at a normal pace, and every now and then he will appear out of nowhere to literally sweep you off your feet and kiss you passionately before setting you back down and dashing off again, leaving you a tiny bit frazzled as you stare after him.

Bucky/Winter Soldier: You and Bucky are almost always connected in some way, because you keep him calm and connected to reality. Whenever he begins to feel himself fading, he grabs you and presses his lips to yours for however long it takes, no matter what you were doing at that moment. It irritates Tony, but Steve doesn’t mind, because he loves seeing Bucky happy.

Steve/Captain America: For someone who is such a gentleman, Steve is very heavy-handed with PDA. He kisses you whenever he gets the urge to, no matter who you’re in front of. Often, the two of you forget that there are people around, which leads to a lot of cleared throats and comments about the sex drives of senior citizens.

Natasha/Black Widow: Nat doesn’t like to kiss you much in public, because she doesn’t want someone to find out about your relationship and use you against her. So when same-sex marriage becomes legalized, you weren’t expecting for her to sweep you into her arms and kiss you right there, on the streets in front of everyone. After that point, she becomes a little more relaxed, kissing you quickly as you part ways in the streets every morning.

Clint/Hawkeye: Clint isn’t really one for kissing all the time. He likes to save it for special moments, like when he asks you to marry him. The two of you don’t kiss often, but when you do, it leaves you breathless for some time after.

Tony/Iron Man: Despite Tony’s reputation as a playboy, he’s a sucker for cuddles and sleepy kisses. He lives for those moments right before you fall asleep, with his arms wrapped around you and your eyes drifting shut, and he loves kissing you softly as you fall asleep, making sure you know how much he loves you.

Bruce/Hulk: Bruce is surprisingly clingy, constantly pressing soft kisses into your hair, your forehead, your cheek, your neck. When he does kiss your lips, he does so gently, holding you as if you may break if he loses control even for a split second.

Omigod I lost it at caps. In my head, someone, Clint probably, clears his throat and says something along the lines of ‘Jeez, careful (y/n), you could give him a seizure.’

oh my god, i love it. you made it better.

disgruntled-detectives:

emmeetslawschool:

systlin:

kasaron:

systlin:

werebearbearbar:

cracked:

Why Everything You Know About Vikings Is A Lie

True story – There are historical accounts (well, there’s at least one historical account) in which English people whine about how the Norse men bathe so often they’re able to seduce the local women away from their husbands.

^^^ Yep. Turns out the women were way more into the hot well groomed muscular dudes who liked to smell nice.

*Hot, well groomed men who liked to smell nice and knew their way around sharp objects.

“I just don’t know why you couldn’t marry a local boy sweetie.” 

“What can I say dad, Hjalmar bathes regularly, smells nice, has shoulders, can wield a sword and can wield his sword ifyaknowwhatImean, and when he comes back from raids likes to shower me in rare gifts from overseas. Look at this necklace! The amber beads came from the lands of the Rus! Also, he’s teaching me how to shoot a bow and use a spear because he thinks it might be nice if I could go on raids too someday.”

I mean, frankly, if I wasn’t already married, I would marry Hjalmar, too.

Sign me the FUCK up.

​❝ i’ve never seen you before. ❞ with a lovestruck thor PLEASE i nEED YOU TO WRITE HIM

whirlybirbs:

He’d never seen you before. You were new, said Erik after he’d asked, a historical expert from up north.

“She’s cute.”

Thor throws his eyes at Steve, then back to you – you’re beside Erik Selvig, admiring a set of runes proving to be more trouble than they’re worth. You have these glasses, big and round, perched on your nose as you read the inscriptions and Thor thinks they’re absolutely lovely. He shifts on his feet.

“She is, isn’t she?” He says through a nervous laugh. Roger’s words are just reaffirming the sudden anxiety worming it’s way into his chest, “She smiles like the victory horns blare after battle – very sweet.”

Steve ducks his head as he laughs, sipping his coffee on the catwalk. “Y’ gunna talk to her?”

Thor then looks at Steve like he has three heads. “Talk – Gods, no. No! No… No, I… I don’t… uh, talk.”

He waves his hands, laughing softly and pulling a face that really doesn’t hide the true nature of his faux-suavity. The blonde tosses a hand through the air. Steve cops him a look and Thor’s front crumbles. He deflates a bit.

“She… She probably isn’t into gods, anyways.”

“Whatever you say, Thor,” Steve chirps, “But, I heard otherwise.”

The God’s eyes widen substantially. “Wait – Heard what?”

“Oh, nothing,” another sip of coffee, “Just that the God of Thunder is definitely her favorite Avenger.”

Suddenly, with no warning, a crackle of lightning tears through the catwalk and explodes across the atrium – Steve hits the ground, coffee abandoned as he shouts an expletive. Steve’s eyes are wide as he shoots Thor a look from his fetal position on the cement floor. 

Below the two Avengers, the research team dissolves into startled shouts. You nearly jump out of your skin, gripping Erik as you spot the source of the sudden lightning show. It’s Thor, and you can’t help but smile at the sight of the blonde God.

“Sorry!” he shouts down the catwalk.

Thor is mortified, face tight in discomfort as heat swells in his cheeks. He coughs, crossing his arms and laughing sheepishly when realizing Gods, you were looking at him. He helps Rogers up quickly, chattering another apology before making the hastiest exit he’s ever managed.

You see him a few days later, lingering around Erik’s work bench.

“Hi.”

He nearly jumps out of his skin, hands dropping the papers he was holding as he scrambles to act natural, because there you are – you look prettier up close. The God stutters.

“H-hey. Hi. Hel-lo.”

“… You looking for something?”

Thor blinks. You’re smiling. He swallows. “Uh, no. I mean – just… reading. These runes.”

“… You can read those?!”

Another blink. Thor is gawking.

You laugh. “Sorry – I’ve just… I’m really bad at Old Norse and I probably should have assumed you knew how to read them, but I’m kinda stubborn and… I definitely should have asked you instead of literally pulling my hair out over these stupid things.”

You wave your hands, suddenly nervous under the gaze of the God. Thor is sweating, because your perfume is dizzying and you’re talking to him, not Erik or Darcy or… Oh, Gods. You’re smiling again.

“You okay, Thor?”

You reach out to touch his arm.

And that’s how you learned what it was like to be struck by 300 volts of lightning to the complete and utter mortification of the God of Thunder.

Where They Kiss You

avengers-fics:

simple as the title, where your avenger boo kisses you 

Bucky: Thighs. On your first few dates with him, you never pictured Bucky to be a thigh man. You more expected him to be an old fashioned kiss on the hand type, but that all went out the window the first night he slept over. He took what you thought were flaws and made them his favorite things about you. Bucky loves waking you up in the morning by trailing kisses starting at your collarbone and going all the way down to those thighs he loves. You have a small tattoo on your inner left thigh that he always traces over lightly with his fingers, and it drives you absolutely mad. When he’s had a long day of being an avenger, he loves coming home to already find you in bed. Bucky takes this time to climb into the king sized bed and rest his head on your lap, occasionally leaning over from his phone to place a kiss on your thighs and tell you little things about his day.

Steve: Forehead. It started when the two of you finally made your relationship public, and went to a baseball game together. People were around everywhere, most trying to pretend they weren’t staring as you walked to your seats hand in hand, but some were blatantly taking pictures and whispering to their friends. Steve’s grip moved to around your shoulder, and he pulled you closer to him while walking around inside the stadium. Being in the public eye wasn’t something you were used to, and Steve could tell. So instead of giving everyone a show, he sweetly placed his lips on your forehead in hopes of calming you down. After that came many more events where he did the same before you walked out into the public eye, and it stuck as a way for you to calm one another down. Plus it was a way for the two of you to avoid the whole gross PDA thing.

Natasha: Neck. It became a thing of good luck for the both of you whenever she would place a kiss on the left side of your neck before going off on a mission. You weren’t an active agent anymore, but there were times where you would be with Maria in the control room. Natasha had no shame in kissing you in front of whoever she wanted, whether it’s just the team, or on a red carpet for the whole world to see. Sometimes she would just kiss your neck out of the blue to get you flustered and red in the face. Even on game nights with the team she would lean over your lap just to get her lips on your neck before making any bets with the team, and 99% of the time her PDA payed off. Nobody in the public eye knew how much she really suffered from the trainings when she was a kid, and sometimes she would wake up in the middle of the night suffering from those memories. But you were there for her, leaving kisses across her jaw and down her neck, bringing her back to reality in your arms.

Thor: Hand. Albeit cliche, he truly loves making you feel like his queen. He was raised to treat women with the utmost respect, because he understood that he wouldn’t be there if it wasn’t for them. So when Thor met you, he felt as if he had cracked the code to what life is supposed to be like. Everyone knows about how bubbly he is, but he was even more so after that first look into your eyes at the Shield christmas party. When Thor wakes up in the morning, the first thing he does is bring you closer to his body and kiss your hand. It’s his way of showing how much he loves and respects you, and without being too gross with the affection. But that sure doesn’t mean that he’s afraid to be affectionate.  

Tony: Chest. Tony is all about chest kisses, and he places them with such love and care. He loves leaning into your chest while you are laying on the couch or in bed after a long day of being Tony Stark. You hold his head there, softly running your fingers through his hair and stroking his cheek. He feels his safest with his lips on your chest, even safer than when he’s in the iron suit that is damn near indestructible. It momentarily dispels all negative thoughts from his mind, and leaves him with nothing but pure adoration towards you. He feels like a giant weight is lifted off his shoulders as well. It’s at that point when he turns his head and absentmindedly presses a short, chaste kiss to your skin or the fabric that covers the area.

Peter: Temple. Whether the two of you were tangled up in each other on the couch watching a movie, or silently strolling down the street hand in hand, he always pulled you into a warm hug, and pressed a sweet kiss to your temple. Whenever he was struck with the opportunity, Peter would lightly peck your temple. It helped that you happened to enjoy being kissed there just a little bit more than straight up lip-locking. He wanted to make sure you knew how much he loved and was there for you, and felt that a soft kiss on your forehead or temple was the way to do it. Sometimes you even stretched up on your tiptoes to place a kiss on his temple whenever you saw him stressing out over something, especially new mission plans. Him leaving for said missions was a new thing, so it was always a toss up of who was going to be more strung out over the job that day.

Loki: Under-jaw. The two of always spent your down time wrapped up in blankets in bed, doing absolutely nothing aside from basking in each other’s company and body heat in silence. Loki leaned in to you and you leaned into him, becoming utterly obsessed with each other. He looked at you like you were the most exquisite thing in existence and peppered a million light kisses underneath your jaw and along the side of your neck. You always returned the favor by tightly holding him, eventually squeezing him till he was practically out of breath. You would spend all of your nights together exactly like this, much to both of your delight.

Pietro: Shoulder blades. Pietro craved skin to skin contact with you at all times of the day, mostly in the form of a kiss, which couldn’t happen often, much to your disappointment as well as his. So, he stuck to loosely slinging his arm around your shoulders and following you around like a lost puppy while you performed domestic tasks around the compound. Whenever you stopped bumbling about, doing whatever it was that you were doing, Pietro quickly peppered kisses all along your shoulder blades. They spanned everywhere from the shoulders to the nape of your neck.  As long as it didn’t interfere with your task at hand, you indulged him and stood still, eyes fluttering shut in content for a moment until he was inevitably pulled away from you to do important Avengers work. He always made it up to you, however, in the form of much more interesting activities.

Bruce: Nose. Your touch never failed to provide Bruce with much needed affection, and reassurance that you were still around and weren’t ever going to leave him. You always stuck around, glued to his side while he moved about his lab. He tried on multiple occasions to explain what he does in the simplest way possible to you. Most of the time, you just looked at him and smiled, which Bruce knew as your nice way of telling him to stop wasting his breath because you weren’t going to understand any time soon. He softly chuckled every time, quietly sighed with a light smile on his face, pulled your face close to his and pressed a soft kiss on your nose. This gentle of a kiss reminded him that he’s still just Bruce, and not the other guy.

Scott: Cheek. Scott woke up significantly earlier than you did every morning, but never failed to give you a sloppy good morning kiss on the cheek before he rolled begrudgingly out of bed. They always woke you up though, which you didn’t mind. You always pulled a sleepy smile anyway, and rolled over to his side of the bed and basked in the hot spot of sheets he left behind, instantly falling back asleep. You were awakened again about a half an hour later to another, less sloppy kiss on the cheek and a goofy smile from Scott before he left for whatever job he had acquired from his friends. He whispered a promise to you about taking you out to dinner that night, an offer you accepted, before hurrying out of the room and out of the apartment.