psychotic-marvel:

Tony: Okay, people, listen up! Fury thinks that we’ve had “low morale” so he said we have to get a pet. Any suggestions?

Thor: I’ve heard great things about the creature called a dog!

Bucky: Pfft, why get a dog when we can get a wolf?

Steve: No wolves! How about a cat? Everybody likes cats.

Scott: Not everybody, a cat once tried to kill me! What about an ant farm?

Sam: Ants are lame! Besides, you already have your little ant friends over. I’m thinking we should get a falcon!

Clint: A Hawk is way better than a falcon!

Loki: We’re getting a snake.

Bruce: This is a team decision, Loki. I don’t care what pet we get as long as it stays out of the lab.

Rhodey: How about a fish? They’re easy to take care of and are quiet.

Peter P: A spider!

Natasha: A black widow spider!

Wanda: What about a cheetah? They’re really fast…

Vision: That’s a great idea, Wanda, but cheetahs are not a common pet.

(Y/N): I think we should get- oh look, a snake!

Thor: (Y/N), no-

(Y/N) holding the snake: Who’s a pretty snake? You are, yes you are! Oh, you’re so sweet!

Thor: Wait, is that a normal snake? May I hold it? I love snakes!

(Y/N): Yep, here you go.

Loki: MBLERGH it’s me!

Thor: Ahh! Why’d you stab me?

Loki: To prove that snakes can decide who to attack. Plus, I would never stab Lady (Y/N)! See Stark, snakes are far seperior to any other animal.

Tony: We are definitely not getting a snake.